Slashdot Mirror
How Episode IV Should Have Ended
OverNeith writes "An excellent cartoon film showing how SW:Episode IV would have ended in a non-Lucas reality. Enjoy!" From the cartoon: "Han: Boy, you said it Chewie. I was this close to going back and helping those people."
. . .with episode 5. Unfortunately Lucas had to make four more.
I want the fire back.
sux to be luke then. joint the force he would have :P
'ere ya go http://68.236.124.177:6969/torrents/Star_Wars_Ep_4 .wmv.torrent?E87E9066D9A57CEE759EFD2E765D6DAB96FDA 060
"Religion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses." - Arthur C. Clarke.
What's a torrent file?
May I interest you in VideoLan?
I believe it will play WMVs on all systems it supports.
Its kinda fun to watch my bittorrent upload rate jump up from 2KB/s to 170 to 300 within seconds of the article making slashdot.
Did I read that right?
I'm not one for star wars humor, but damn that was funny. :) Worth a watch. The animation is real nice, too.
Friend: "The NIC is misconfigured..." Me: "No prob, I'll just telnet in and fix it." *Silence*
How about this player, it seems to play WMV files just fine!
Also, these two movies.
:(
Does anyone non-Bittorrent anywhere since the company's firewall is blocking those BT ports.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
..but I'm from Europe!
Great animation, very impressive visually. But I must digress, that was very dull. I am a raging SW fanboy who loves just about anything that parodies or takes from SW, but this was boring. For something more fun, see www.ultracheese.com which is what I consider a FUNNY film.
This qualifies for a front page post on Slashdot?
The art is impressive (not the animation), but overall it's completely unimaginitive and equally unfunny.
Score: -1 Unfunny.
*Begin Transcript*
[Text on screen]
How Star Wars episode IV should have ended...
[Inside the rebel base]
Rebel Commander (briefing troops): Men normally with this information we would take time to make a more intricit plan of attack. However, rather than transmitting the technical readouts of the imperial battlestation and keeping our hidden loctaion safe...Princess Leia insisted on coming back, knowing full well that her ship was being tracked. In short, we have one chance to make this right and it's all Prince Leia's fault.
[On the death star]
Death star Piolet: Sir we have reached the planet Yavin. The rebel base is on a moon orbitting on the other side of the planet. We will be in firing range in 30 minutes.
Death star commander: I say we're in range now. Fire.
-Beeping noises-
-Animation of the death star blowing up the planet-
[Rebel base]
Rebel commander: Well so much for that idea.
[Millenium Falcon]
Chewie: Raaaar.
Han: Boy, you said it Chewie. I was this close to going back and helping those people.
[Text on screen]
The end.
[Diagobah (sp?)]
Yoda: Let him beat you you had to. What will I do now? Go crazy I will.
Obi wan (as a ghost): Oh get over yourself.
*End Transcrip*
My thoughts on the subject:
Look if you remember the first time you saw star wars...you didn't hate it. Maybe you have what it's become but what percentage of movies that were made in the 70's would even pass the giggle test if someone tried to release them today? The plot and special effects were something that had never been done before. Sure after 30 years the plot didn't turn out to be bulletproof. All a movie has to do to be a good movie is hold your attention and entertain for the duration it's on the screen. You know what? All the star wars movies (except episode 1) did that for me.
A post about (a) animation and (b) Star Wars which has been (c) posted to Slashdot.
If this doesn't serve as a stress test of BitTorrent's scalability, nothing will.
Any program relying on (nontrivial) preemptive multithreading will be buggy.
If you are running the latest Debian Stable version, Sarge, you can add the line
ftp://ftp.nerim.net/debian-marillat/ stable main
to your
Once in a while, I even pass the Turing-Test
we have one chance to make this right and it's all Prince Leia's fault.
...to join Princess Vespa and Princess Valium - (pause) - I'm sorry, it's the hair. Prince Valium....
Minister:
I'm on Linux and Mplayer and Xine can play the WMV files perfectly fine. Just need to have the correct codec installed. I'm using Fedora and I even installed all the codec's through yum. If you're using an RPM based distribution Atrpms should have all the packages you need. Plenty of instructions can be found by googling on how to install the codecs you need...
"A Lisp programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing." - Alan Perlis
Will Smith: (pushes button on remote) Hop in.
A car pulls up, driven by a man in a suit. Suddenly the driver deflates and is sucked into the steering wheel.
Tommy Lee Jones: Does that come standard?
Will Smith: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Just thought I'd return the favor. You know, in case you ever see Men in Black II. Or something.
here is a magnet URI for those people using the Azureus bittorrent client:
P 3I DA
magnet:?xt=urn:btih:5B7JAZWZUV6O45M67UXHMXLNVOL
With the magnet URI you don't need the torrent file. Simply copy it to the clipboard and in Azureus, go to File->Open->Location (ctrl-L) and paste the magnet URI.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Yeah the rest of it was funny too, but please. Hurting that bad for a clever editorial comment? Sheesh.
> I sometimes wonder what movies would be like if logically thinking people made them.
Lets count the ways:
1. Flying through space would involve a crew, safety checks, and published flight plans in an advances society. So no two man smuggling teams.
2. Effeminate robots and a beeping speech system would never have made it past the "stupidity test" thus no R2 and 3P0. Instead you'd have two very predictable and obedient automatons.
3. No faster than light travel. So long galactic civilization.
4. No sounds in space.
5. Stormtroopers being professional soldiers would take careful aim, set up snipers, etc thus all gun fights end with the good guys dying and quickly.
6. No force, no prophesies, etc. No such thing.
7. No one acting out of stupid impulse or emotion, thus Luke never leaves tatooine.
etc.
Err, I'd rather not watch the Vulcan version of Star Wars. The silliness is part of its charm. Storytelling is much more an unpredictable art than a science.
Taco Pizza
Nap
Taco Pizza
2nd Nap
beginning of the Matrix DVD
Shower
10 minutes of the audio commentary on Two Towers
Begining of XMen 1
Spiderman 1 - all
Kevin Smith forum on Superman
Post hate to AICN
Slashdot xbox articles
eat the Taco Pizza crusts
go to Bed
I'm a signature virus. Please copy me to your signature so I can replicate.
Everything was proceeding nicely when, suddenly, my firewall started going nuts with dozens of incoming probes to ports commonly used by sql server, oracle, various license managers, and so on.
Is it just me, or are hackers are using the ip addresses distributed by the trackers to find currently connected computers to attack?
Any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.
Two points: (I never, ever thought I'd become a SW apologist, but here goes...) 1.) Who says the Empire can't track interstellar communications? They should have some pretty impressive listening systems, methinks. 2.) As long as the recharge time of the deathstar beam-o-death is longer than 30 minutes, it makes sense to hold off firing. IIRC, that is far from impossible. There, George - do I get a check or something? Please?
Ok, because it's late and I'm tired, I'll geek a bit...
I figure they didn't transmit the plans because it would've pinpointed how they were planning the rebel attack.
And then the empire could've just put some chickenwire over the exhaust port.
Then they would've failed and died. Which wouldn't have made Lucas nearly as much money.
N.
"Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence." - Charles de Gaulle
The reason I found it so funny was because I had the *exact* same discussion of this plot hole with my friends when we were last watching Star Wars
In deep space, you have to aim the parabolic antennae at the destination. Presumably, "subspace" transmissions would behave the same way.
Thus, all the Star Destroyer (or whatever) has to do is notice which direction the antennae was aimed, and go That Way.
How do you miss an enormous plot hole like that?
It's called a plot device. It's also why laser cannons aren't radar controlled, like the CIWS in service since 1979, the AMRAAM, in service since 1991, and the AGM-84 Harpoon, around since 1977.
Oh, and don't forget heat seekers like the AIM-9 Sidewinder and IR targeters like the M1. Abrams, since 1980.
There are more, and I've not even mentioned non-US systems, but you get the picture.
And how can we forget Noise In Space? Just tonight on SG:Atlantis, when a ship blew up, you could hear the explosion on other ships.
What ever happened to, "In space, no one can hear you scream."?
"I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
Ahem... the plot was taken straight out of several Kurosawa movies, the special effects I agree with you.
As I recall, Yavin was a gas giant. What good is vaporising vapor going to do?
That said, the recent prequels don't entirely jibe with the books. *sigh* Lucas, Lucas, Lucas...
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
5. Stormtroopers being professional soldiers would take careful aim, set up snipers, etc thus all gun fights end with the good guys dying and quickly.
Not to be too straight-laced, but they could have had the storm troopers do things like that, get set up properly, make advancements, etc, and still have the main characters escape by the skin of their teeth. It would have built up excitement in a way that watching storm trooper after incompetent storm trooper being gunned down just doesn't. At least some percentage of the movie should have been devoted to the storm troopers winning, to build up tension.
A New Hope:
Storm troopers rule:
killed jawas (off camera)
Storm troopers suck:
Took equal losses with the defences of a councelor's ship on a peaceful mission.
Can't stop a group of rogues from escaping while they're already in prison.
They're scared of Han.
Empire Strikes Back:
Storm troopers rule:
Took over cloud city (off camera)
Storm troopers suck:
Giant battletanks full of the empires strongest weaponry taken down by string.
Still can't stop a group of rogues from escaping while they're already in prison.
Got shown up by a dwarf with a pot on his head.
Return of the Jedi
Storm Troopers Rule:
Actually stopped a group of rogues from doing something, and on camera no less!
Storm Troopers Suck:
Death of everything they represent.
Lost to a bunch of muppets.
The ______ Agenda
I'm using Opera's inbuilt BT client. Infact, I didn't even notice it was a BitTorrent link until it was 15% here already. Very impressed with how seemless it was.
Came in at 32KB/s at first (I'm on a 300kbps line). Averaged at 11.8 KB/s according to the transfer window. Not bad considering the circumstances.
Opera doesn't seem to be listening on port 6881, and I have a firewall in the way. Even so i've been uploading. Which is also very impressive.
Go Opera!
MPlayer nor VLC on Mac OS can benefit from the hack which is used in Linux, i.e. sending everything through the windows DLL. Therefore it can only play old WMV files for which the codec has been reverse engineered. When the switch to x86 is there, this problem will probably go away, though. ...
For now the only programs I know that can play most WMV junk in OS X, are the crappy WMP from MS itself, and Flip4Mac. The latter is pretty good since it allows to play WMV in QuickTime, enabling most of the features that I expect from a decent media player like easy seeking, frame per frame,
Episode IV? There's now III episodes before that so much more in need if the MST3K treatment....
Episode I, needs a scene of JarJar being horribly killed.
Episode II, needs a scene of JarJar being horribly killed.
Episode III, that JarJar cameo? That should have been a scene of him being horribly killed.
Episode IV refresh, they could have added a nice shot of a suspiciously Jar-Jar-like silhouette catching a blaster bolt.
Then we need a shot of George Lucas being killed horribly for turning the Jedi into a bunch of stupid steroid^Wmidiclorian-pumped jocks and light-saber ricers.
Your firewall is very boring.
Moon orbits planet. Planet gets blown up. Moon no longer orbits planet, tidal forces suddenly released, massive "moonquakes", gale winds, pieces of blown up planet rain down like meteors on moon, yeah, I think the rebel base would have been screwed.
What else is there to do around here? Have an intelligent conversation? *snort*
Nice, but:
:). Also, it's a movie, a story, a work of fiction: Peter Pan would have been pretty disappointing if Peter climbed up the drainpipe. And think of the Little Mermaid as the story of a Prince with a crush on a dugong ...
... I definitely agree that if they can make a spaceship that can do all the complex stuff the Death Star does, with just two people at the helm, they *should* be able to come up with hunting. You could argue that hunting is more complex, but they are dealing with lasers, so the shot isn't going to get pulled around by gravity or something ... but see this post about what would have made the Stormtroopers COOL.
:). Then again, maybe it's just the oh-my-dear-god-isn't-Luthien-the-hottest-EVER?! fantasy fanboi talking.
r and wander off to a random corner of the universe because a GHOST TOLD HIM TOO. Not when they're in dire need of friends. But oh well, Lucas knows best :).
> 1. Flying through space would involve a crew, safety checks, and published flight plans in an advances society. So no two man smuggling teams.
Sailing the oceans of the world needed navigatory tools, navigators, doctors and other skilled workers, along with supplies (did you forget your vitamin C?), maps, plans, etc. But you still had small groups of people, either sailing areas which (I think) would be easier to navigate (e.g. the Carribean, British channel, etc.). I think you can extend the same to ships. I might be wrong.
> 2. Effeminate robots and a beeping speech system would never have made it past the "stupidity test" thus no R2 and 3P0. Instead you'd have two very predictable and obedient automatons.
I am typing this from an operating system which LOOKS LIKE FISHER PRICE DESIGNED IT, and was pretty darn un-predictable and dis-obedient for its first two decades of existance. So really, no, products don't have to face stupidity tests in the real world.
> 3. No faster than light travel. So long galactic civilization.
As somebody else pointed out, no faster than light travel *now*. It might happen. Be optimistic
> 4. No sounds in space.
Also, every psycho has a small orchestra which walks around behind him everywhere he goes and plays creepy music every time he kills someone. See point 3.
> 5. Stormtroopers being professional soldiers would take careful aim, set up snipers, etc thus all gun fights end with the good guys dying and quickly.
Hmmmm
> 6. No force, no prophesies, etc. No such thing.
Every time somebody says they don't believe in fairies, somewhere a fairy falls down dead. You remember that, boy-yo
> 7. No one acting out of stupid impulse or emotion, thus Luke never leaves tatooine.
I've wrecked FRIENDSHIPS out of "stupid impulse or emotion", let alone doing a tichy little thing like leave a planet! You could replace this one with "nobody ever leaves friends, family and girl-you-have-a-crush-on-but-is-really-your-siste