Jerk-O-Meter to Meter Jerks

prostoalex writes "The Jerk-o-Meter from MIT will analyze voice patterns of phone conversations and display a relative value of jerkiness factor on the scale of 0 to 100. For now, the Jerk-O-Meter is set up to monitor the user's end of the conversation. If his attention is straying, a message pops up on the phone that warns, 'Don't be a jerk!' or 'Be a little nicer now.' A score closer to 100 percent would prompt, 'Wow, you're a smooth talker.'"

Comments

Calling home

[bigwavejas]

"Hello, Grandma?"
[pause]
[pause]
"Eh? Who's this?"
Jerk-o-Meter: "Don't be a jerk!"
[pause]
Click!

or...

"Hello, Mom?"
"Hi Honey, how've you been... Let me tell you about the potato salad I made yesterday for the picnic, it was absolutely deli.."
Jerk-o-Meter: "Wow, you're a smooth talker."
[pause]
"Smartass!"
Click!

Re:Calling home

[Anonymous Coward]

This technology is annoying because some researcher in some lab somewhere cooks up their perfect "metric" for what nice talk is, then it gets enforced on the rest of us, despite massive variation in speech patterns and types.

These "autocorrections" will be the death of diversity as anyone who uses UK or Australian english will know full-well the annoyance of spell checkers telling them their spelling is "wrong" and telling them to use the american ones.

Re:Calling home

[maxwell demon]

Of course, if the software only evaluates voice patterns, you'll just have to learn to say everything with an extraordinarily nice voice. That is, you can still say "you're an incompetent idiot", you just have to say it in the same tone you would normally use for "you're a really smart person".

Re:Calling home

[Bjarke Roune]

Meanwhile, that post was spelled perfectly, as far as I can tell.

Re:Calling home

[Darkman, Walkin Dude]

Not trying to be flamebait here, but I just don't get dyslexia. I mean, you're an engineer, you need to be able to see and recognise complex specifications and long strings of numbers with extreme accuracy. What is so different from normal language use? See the string of letters, recognise them individually, and compare them to the known string mentally. Where's the problem?

Don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger to communications problems, having a semi serious speech impediment myself (which hasn't stopped me founding and running my own successful business by the way), but thats related to nervousness around other people, basically a nervous twitch. I just have difficulty with relating a perfect ability to understand and work with complex technical specifications in terms of the written word, and normal language. The only reason I can see is the degree of application given to each.

Re:Calling home

[Legion303]

"I just don't get dyslexia. I mean, you're an engineer, you need to be able to see and recognise complex specifications and long strings of numbers with extreme accuracy. What is so different from normal language use?"

That's kind of like asking someone with Down's Syndrome why he doesn't talk like most people. Dyslexia is a genetic and neurobiological problem. I have it myself, which is lots of fun when I'm on IRC, because when I type "teh" it's not because I'm trying to be funny.

I've trained myself to proofread everything I write very carefully (but like the OP, some things still get through occasionally). Words that I know how to spell (like "occasionally," coincidentally enough) end up being misspelled half the time anyway because of the dyslexia.

As for how he can do well in engineering with dyslexia...google is your friend. Apparently engineers have a high rate of dyslexia relative to other professions.

Re:Calling home

[entrylevel]

Safari has a spell checker built in and one is available for Firefox as an extension, so "Don't be a jerk!"

Re:Calling home

[bwintx]

Of course, if the software only evaluates voice patterns, you'll just have to learn to say everything with an extraordinarily nice voice. That is, you can still say "you're an incompetent idiot", you just have to say it in the same tone you would normally use for "you're a really smart person".

Yep. Just like talking to a cat.

Re:Calling home

[IngramJames]

It's English. Just because other cultures have bastardised it,

Which cultures are these, then?

Bearing in mind that the first settlers in North America arrived in the days before there was such a thing as a dictionary. Also bearing in mind that they came from all over the UK, from areas with different dialects.

Yes, there's no such thing as "UK English", as anyone who has ever gone to Yorkshire, Newcastle, Somerset, Cornwall, Dublin, Wales, Glasgow, Leeds, Nottingham, London or in fact any two UK towns or counties will be well aware.

Which of the local English dialects is the correct one? I'm just curious.

It amuses me when people get really riled up by the American word "gotten". It's an Old English word, in fact. But many english people seem to have forgotten this fact - it's a word which we lost but they kept.

My point being: languages diverge, and this is perfectly natural and nothing to get upset about. Middle Class UK English, American English and Australian English have all changed and evolved since the people moved away from each other.

What annoys me is when people seem to indicate that everyone ought to speak and spell the same, and that the language should, in some way, be static. Given that Shakespeare invented about a third of the words he used in his plays (including "brilliant"), and spelled even his name is various different ways (sometimes in the same document), I think you could conclude that Shakespeare basardised English more than anyone else. Shall we return to pre-Shakesperian English, then, to get back to the purer tongue?

Maybe Chaucer would be better. Hey - let's go all the way back to Latin. Is Latin better English than English is, then..?

Re:Calling home

[MCraigW]

These "autocorrections" will be the death of diversity as anyone who uses UK or Australian english will know full-well the annoyance of spell checkers telling them their spelling is "wrong" and telling them to use the american ones.

Hmmmm... Microsoft Windows XP lets you set your language preference, and has thirteen different flavors of English, including "English (Austrailia)", and "English (United Kingdom)". No need to use the "English (United States)" preference.

Re:Calling home

[Khuffie]

Or, and stay with me here, you can switch the language to UK English? In Office its Tools --> Language --> Set Language. Hit default on UK Englisk, and voila! That's been there since as long as I can remember.

Re:Calling home

[tod_miller]

Layman terms:

Both sides of the brain compete to read a word:

You try and 'read' the letters, and 'look at' the word. Which means many times the people see the words as shapes, not information.

When writing, we always look back on what we type, even visually (when assembling words).

The only pertinent parallel I can think of is when a hot chick in a shirt shirt skirt walks into the room, but is showing all her cleavage, and you mind fights itself, as your fovea centralis tries to split and focus all its cones on both her assets.

Dyslexia is like that, and then having a pop quiz if you noted her name on her id badge.

They already have this tech..

[speights_pride!]

..I mean I can just ring these special phone numbers and some nice lady on the end tells me "you're nice","You are big" .. there is also something she says about "jerking" ??

Application?

[FhnuZoag]

Think of the usefulness of this thing in monitoring political speeches....

Re:Application?

[CheshireCatCO]

Wouldn't that be like taking a hygrometer to the bottom of the ocean? You don't need it to tell you what's out there, and it seems like you'd just break the equipment with the overload.

as if working on the phone didn't suck enough

[atarione]

already.... having recently quit a call center job.

it's bad enough as it is... clueless jerks calling in, monitoring of calls (subjective..monitoring by QA teams) Computer Monitoring... stupid conflicting targets (i.e. Help customers make sure everything they need is taken care or.... oh yeah but do it all within 4minutes..)

now some stupid software could be sitting about telling me that i'm not freaking excited enough about it.

god i quit not a momment to soon.... fuck it i say send all the call center jobs to India.

Re:as if working on the phone didn't suck enough

[Vo0k]

Well, not necessarily. There are basically 4 groups of customers:
- With a clue, nice. They ask you a specific question and expect specific answer. Easy to deal with if you know your job. If you are a moron, jerkometer could work against you, deservedly. Few, pleasure to deal with if you have a clue. Usually people who have worked in user support.
- With a clue, jerks. They want more to unload their frustration than to have a problem fixed, and for example set you a task they found unsolvable earlier, trying to earn you "dissatisfied" ticket, etc. Not easy to get rid of. But if you're an ace, you'll beat them with their own weapon proving them they are morons after all. (say, give them a page number in the manual together with the answer to their "unsolvable".) Most of tech people that get frustrated with something that isn't directly your fault, but, say, your company's. Generally, pain in the ass but luckily few.
- Clueless, nice. Usually victims to support jerks - they are desperate to get help, and you are their last hope. They hate tech, but withstand the suffering quietly (sometimes with a smile) as you guide them through, and are grateful if you solve the problem. Difficult, challenging (sometimes in a painful way) but generally okay. Bunch of moms, secretaries, grandmothers, tech people new to given field etc.
- Clueless jerks. They think they know better, but they don't. So, you're in pain because even if you know the solution, they won't accept it and make it all as painful to you as they only can. These would be best filtered through the system. Less time wasted, better success ratio (they wouldn't count towards the success average) and if you're told by a machine that you're a jerk, you may rethink what you do.

Re:as if working on the phone didn't suck enough

[rob colonna]

After working 4+ years in support for some high-end software, that classification is dead on target with the exception of one addition: the people who want you to do their work for them/provide an excuse for them to not do their work.

This device would have gotten me fired, for sure, considering that dealing with 3 out of these 5 classes of callers caused me to become a real arrogant bastard on the phone.

Really now...

[acceber]

"Think of a situation where you could actually prevent an argument," he said. "Just having this device can make people more attentive because they know they're being monitored."

I would actually think this would deter people from speaking to people over the phone. I know that if I was being monitored, I would be less inclined to converse this way. The last thing we need is some random voice telling me to "Be nicer!". How is a device like this supposed to tell the emotions behind people's words, we might have a sad tone in our voice, but the robot will think I need to "Pay more attention!".

And like, omg, this is so useless for females. I mean like, we are born with our very own Jerk-O-Meter's anyway!

Re:Really now...

[Randseed]

And like, omg, this is so useless for females. I mean like, we are born with our very own Jerk-O-Meter's anyway!

Without a doubt. That's how women manage to keep dating the biggest jerks they can find, and complain to their "nice guy friend" who "they don't think of in that way" because "he's so nice and understanding."

Re:Really now...

[Dogtanian]

The last thing we need is some random voice telling me to "Be nicer!".

It'd be like having your mother in the background during every phone conversation.

Re:Really now...

[IngramJames]

So - what do men do? Become "bastards"

Actually I think it's more to do with confidence. Women find confident guys attractive. Bastards are confident. They are also very good liars, and have discovered that saying things like "I understand", or "Actually, I do like to go down" are more likely to get them laid rather than "shut up, the football is on" or "no, but you can do me".. which is what it turns into when enough condoms have been used.

The lesson I drew was to simply be confident and have a laugh. Nothing wrong with being a Nice Guy, and you won't get laid as much (especially when one has to turn down a damn good offer cos the woman is a bit emotional and vulnerable) but not getting laid ain't the end of the world.

Good friends (female or otherwise) are always a good thing.

I'm done; my Bloke Club membership will almost certainly be revoked now, and I will unable to discuss football down the pub any more, because I'm obviously really a big girl's blouse.

What we REALLY need...

[catdevnull]

Forget that device, what we really need is Caller IQ!

Ooops

[thebroken]

Oh those kinds of jerks..oops... *puts away vasseline*

Oh man

[mcc]

When you're getting advice in social graces from MIT... you know something's wrong

BA-DUM CHING

Re:How about a Jerk-O-Meter for Slashdot Trolls

[CHESTER COPPERPOT]

Jerk-o-meter is a synonym for moderator.

ooooohhh burn!

Obligatory

[Linker3000]

Still no cure for cancer

Re:Obligatory

[zopf]

Well... actually... http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2005/nanocell.html

They're getting closer.

Re:Testing

[Vo0k]

Attach the device to both sides of the phone and include in your company policy: "The consultant is free to hang up when the jerkometer shows the customer has reached 75 jerk points. In case the jerkometer detects above 75 points on the consultant side, you're being automatically forwarded to higher level tech support, and any charge for this session is being cancelled."

Obligatory Simpsons Reference

[zaguar]

Nerd: I have invented the Sarcasm-O-Meter!

Cartoon-Shop-Guy: A Sarcasm-O-Meter? Now that's useful.

Sarcasm-O-Meter explodes

Apologies to Matt Groening

Product design

[sankyuu]

Imagine how the switch on the device would be labeled:

Jerk - on
Jerk - oh, nevermind...

:-)

Link to the actual project site

[fungai]

http://groupmedia.media.mit.edu/jk.php

Blaming the victim

[DulcetTone]

Isn't the root cause that dullards are allowed to call people? Why not have a phone that first demands a precis of the reason for the call, and which only permits it to be made when it is convinced there is some merit?

tone