EU Gumshoe Chases Internet Villains

Robert Haskins writes "The Pittsburg Post-Gazette is carrying an interesting Wall Street Journal story about a guy who works for Microsoft and chases virus writers, software counterfeiters, spammers and other suspected law breakers. Can companies really make a difference by helping law enforcement like this?" From the article: "Mr. Fifka isn't a cop. He works for Microsoft Corp.'s Internet Safety Enforcement Team. Created in 2002, the group is part of the U.S. software giant's intensifying efforts to combat cyber crime at a time when consumers and businesses are becoming increasingly frustrated with fraud and virus attacks on their personal computers, most of which use Microsoft's Windows operating system. As Internet crime proliferates, law enforcement is relying more on the private sector to help counter it. That's because tracking cyber criminals requires a different set of skills than police have traditionally used. Compounding the challenge is the speed at which new online threats are morphing."

Comments

Not Intimidating Enough?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well he isn't doing a very good job, maybe he isn't intimidating enough. I hear the reason there are so few Linux viruses is because Tux goes around vigilante-justice-style and beats the hell out of anyone who writes one. I don't know about you but I would crap my pants if opened the door and saw a giant overweight penguin (or an overweight Finnish guy for that matter). Don't even get me started on the BSD devil.

Re:Not Intimidating Enough?

[metaphorever]

I don't know about you but I would crap my pants if opened the door and saw a giant overweight penguin

or to quote Linus:

"Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had."

More seriously, while I'm not saying Microsoft going after virus writers etc. after they've done the damage is a bad thing, perhaps if they focused more energy on preventing them in the first place it wouldn't be as much of a problem.

Re:Not Intimidating Enough?

[Virak]

And what, you wouldn't be scared to see a giant, wavy, multicolored window flying at you?

Hmmm...

[MightyMartian]

It was a hot dark night when she came in. You know the kind of night, and you know the kind of broad. Both could make you sweat, and knock you on your ass.

I'd sent my secretary home early. I had no cases, but a half-bottle of whiskey and a revolver. When she walked in, I was a little past feeling good and ready to shoot.

"I'm lookin' for Porn, Sam Porn. You him?" she asked in a voice that made me melt.

"What's it to ya, lady?" I asked, half-hoping she'd answer, half-hoping she'd leave.

"I've got this web site, see." she replied. "It's kinky and cute, straight tits and ass. But now somebody's busted in, all kinds of bondage. I need someone with guts and brawn, and maybe some brain. I can pay. Thousand big ones now, five more if you can catch the perv."

My smarter half said leave this dame alone. She was trouble, and that was for sure. But the rent had to be paid, and I didn't even have half a bottle of whiskey.

P.I.I.

[Foobar of Borg]

"It was a hot day in Brno and I was hoping to take the day off. I looked out the smudged window of my sixth-story office holding my two best friends in my hands. The first is my .9 mm, I keep it loaded. The other is a bottle of vodka. It keeps me loaded.

Yep, it was just another boring day until a client showed up. He was all boo-hooing over something that was after his business and acting all irrational, but then clients are like that. It seems some computer virus was out to get his software and I needed this mess like I needed a Windows upgrade. Which made sense in its own twisted sort of way. You see, the client was Bill Gates.

I'm Peter Fifka, and I'm a Private Internet Investigator."

Nextime Gumshoe, Nextime

[EmperorKagato]

I bet he can't capture Carmen_Sandiego. No one can catch her!

i am

[Anonymous Coward]

Carmen Sandiego, you call'd

Next he'll be chasing..

[postgrep]

Firefox users, those ones with that tricky "unfindable" cache. Surely they are the virus writers since they don't use IE, the number 1 cybersleuth recommended product!?

Obligatory old one... is Windows a virus?

[Stormwatch]

Is Windows a Virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

- They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

- Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

- Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

- Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

- Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.