Slashdot Mirror
Balmer Vows to Kill Google
An anonymous reader writes "Probably due to the Microsoft suit against Google over human resources, some very heated exchanges have turned up in some court documents. Microsoft CEO Steve Balmer has apparently
vowed to kill Internet search leader Google, according to documents filed in the increasingly bitter battle between the rivals." From the article: "At some point in the conversation, Mr. Ballmer said: 'Just tell me it's not Google,'' Lucovosky said in his statement. Lucovosky replied that he was joining Google. 'At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office,' Lucovosky recounted, adding that Ballmer then launched into a tirade about Google CEO Eric Schmidt. 'I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google.' Schmidt previously worked for Sun Microsystems and was the CEO of Novell."
That the CEO of Microsoft is a calm and collective guy. With good management come good software. I am glad that 90% of the worlds computers are running software by responsible and rational managers.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
It comes as something of a surprise that Steve Ballmer doesn't know how to spell the word "fuck".
Or maybe "f***ing" is the poster's way of representing Ballmer's dribbling, shouting, flobbing, ranting, malsonorous splange of words laughingly called his voice.
Nice man.
I see that he has remembered the "We will bury you" line without having remembered the fate of the utterer which he is likely to emulate in some near future.
two men enter, one man leaves
two men enter, one man leaves
TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVES!
listen, jerk, this clearly unstable guy has armies of "developers, developers, developers!" standing by ready to crush anything he doesn't like. intead of attempting to help prop up this man's onviously twisted tyranny infomred by his unhinged world view, you should be using your lofty powers as a slashdotter to bring him down.
we have hundreds of thousands of socially mal-adjusted virgins at our fingertips i say we pool respources and attack microsft this weekend unless they have a whole bunch of females stockpiled at the microsft campus nothing can stop us!
Steve Ballmer can kill anyone he wants! Steve Ballmer throws chairs ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. This guy is so crazy and awesome that he flips out ALL the time. I heard that Steve Ballmer was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon Ballmer killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw Steve Ballmer totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup...
The scene was more like this:
Balmer: 'I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google.'
BillG: YEAH!
Balmer: Then I'm going to take this frikkin chair, smash his face with it, and lick the blood off the ring.
BillG: Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Watcha gonna dooooo....
Balmer: BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REALLY PUMPED UP ABOUT!?!?!
BillG: Oooooh Yeah!
Balmer: I just saved a boatload of money by switching to Geico.
(Running on excercise machine)
BillG: You can dooo it!!!
Assuming that the chair-throwing and the mindset it implies are true... whose stock do you buy or sell?
Google?... Microsoft?... (OfficeMax?)
Seeing bad movies only encourages them. Watch responsibly
"Say hello to muh lil' chair!"
"OH SHIT, THERE'S A HORSE IN THE HOSPITAL!"
At least he's passionate about his job. That's more than you can say about a lot of executives. What's wrong with wanting to crush the competition? That's what capitalism's all about.
True. I believe a whole chapter of The Wealth of Nations was devoted to the importance of chair throwing.
To summarise the summary of the summary: people are a problem. ~ h2g2
Imagine, if you will, Dr. Claw, banging on his desk, alarming his cat:
I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GOOGLE! NEXT TIME!!!
I think Balmer is violating Nintendo's Insanity Patent.
Overheard in the Google boardroom --
Balmer: I've done far worse than kill you, Google. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive.
Google: BAAAAALLLLLMER!!!!!!