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Missing Lab Mice Infected With Plague
Buford C Nuzzle-Chunks writes "PhysOrg is reporting that 'The FBI and New Jersey officials have started a hushed but intensive search for three missing lab mice reportedly infected with deadly strains of plague'. The Washington Post says it's not that big a deal, but I was dismayed at the PhysOrg article's quote from Richard Ebright, a Rutgers University microbiologist, about certain federal bio-terrorism labs: 'You have more security at a McDonald's than at some of these facilities.'"
Someone to build a better mousetrap!
Some settling may occur during posting.
... just as soon as we capture the last of these rage infected monkeys.
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
Not so hushed now, is it?
In any case, they're just mice... Don't Panic.
'You have more security at a McDonald's than at some of these facilities.' Thats because at McDonalds theres usually some fat guy who got stuck in the doors.
"'You have more security at a McDonald's than at some of these facilities.'"
Given what they serve at McDonalds, thats probably a good thing. I'd rather take my chances with the mice.
Just build a McDonald's at each of these facilities... Boom! You have your security, and the burger joint has a fresh supply of ingredients on hand.
We're talking about New Jersey. I could understand being concerned if it was somewhere else, but New Jersey? This probably improves the environment and air quality there.
Three plagued mice, come on everybody sing along....... Three plagued mice.....
I heard that they ran off with the farmer's wife, who cut off their tails with carving knife.
At least now we know that if something goes wrong, FEMA knows what to do.
Yot are we gonna do tonight, Brain? Try to take over the world?
No, Pinky. We are going to try to find a pharmacy and cure this <hack> damn cough!
www.eFax.com are spammers
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
McDonalds security is no laughing matter.
Consider, for example, the international fugitive known as the "Hamburglar".
Probably like this...
Guy in white coat: "Can I get some mice? And some Bubonic plague? And funding?"
Lab Director: "Sure. Just make sure you don't repeat the whole Rhesus Monkey - ebola thing that you did in Congo back in '79"
Guy in white coat: "These mice will never escape! I'll put them in a bigger cardboard box this time!"
blah blah blah
For these mice might have fled to Russia to join the civilization of rats reported to exist somewhere in the Urals. Now, just imagine what will happen if these rats start using these mice as suicide terrorists...
Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
The mice are the physical manifestations of superintelligent beings, sent here to weed off certain portions of the population deemed unworthy to perform the necessary calculations of the computer Earth.
--
"Extra Anus Kills Four-Legged Chick" -- Headline
[thud] [clang]
CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:
Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop]
Who's that, then?
CART MASTER:
I dunno. Must be a king.
CUSTOMER:
Why?
CART MASTER:
He hasn't got shit all over him.
Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
Evidently the good news for him is that he's now immune
Being dead will do that for you
I for one welcome our new plague-infested mice overlords!
Best. Webhost. Ever. Dreamhost.
PETA officials stated that the mice should be found before they are infected with anything [from jersey]
So are these Plague Mice 1/1 creatures which gain +1/+1 for each other Plague Mouse in play?
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.
I work in a BSL 2 lab (fooborne pathogens
In case anyone was wondering, barborne pathogens require a BSL 3 lab and bazborne are BSL 4.
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