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Microsoft Employees Critical Of Their Employer
bonch writes "BusinessWeek is running an article on internal unrest at Microsoft from their own employees. 'Once the dream workplace of tech's highest achievers, it is suffering key defections to Google and elsewhere... Much of the sharpest criticism comes from within. Dozens of current and former employees are criticizing -- in BusinessWeek interviews, court testimony, and personal blogs -- the way the company operates internally.' In related news, Steve Ballmer has pledged to make changes inside Microsoft to avoid the embarrassingly long development cycle of Vista, including a 'revamping of the engineering and the processes.' Is it too late?"
"Developers, Developers, Developers!"
We can only hope.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
I'm a MSFT stockholder. All you layabouts, get off your duffs and get back to work. Whaddya want, more free Cokes? Give me a break.
You want to be smurfy, get good enough to work for the research arm and then we'll talk. Otherwise be thankful you aren't stuck in a cubicle at Symantec or somewhere lame.
Youse don't know how good youse got it.
Well, I guess that's better than internal unrest from someone elses employees
Chairs will continue to fly until morale improves.
Vista will be out next year. Vista has never been delayed. I mean, we had earlier conceptualizations, but the thing that is Vista is on its track.
Indeed. There are no tanks in Baghdad.
...to change a lightbulb?
Seven.
One Project Manager...to write up the requirements.
One MBU Intern...to report on how Apple engineers did it in Tiger.
One Marketing Droid...to call CNet and tell Ina Fried that it'll be changed in an innovative and exciting new way in Windows Vista.
One Software Engineer...to begin work on it and then take a job at Google implementing Lightbulb Beta.
One CEO...to throw his chair around his office when he finds out.
One PR Flack...to explain to Bob Enderle how "although the lightbulb won't be changed in Windows Vista, it will be released in 2007 as a separate, more refined technology."
And Paul Thurrot, who will receive a private demostration of the lightbulb, devote one week on SuperSite explaining that Apple's lightbulb in Tiger is dimmer, Google's Lightbulb Beta is "limited," and MS's solution, while late, is indeed superior and "Highly recommended."
Unbreakable office furniture!
From the article:
After the ruling he praised Google, noting, "the culture is very supportive, collaborative, innovative, and Internet-like -- and that's bottoms-up innovation rather than top-down direction."
Why do I get a mental picture of a row of Google engineers mooning Steve Ballmer?
Tsunami -- You can't bring a good wave down!
Eventually things change:
From blow to suck.
KFG
*In a huge seminar room*
(Ballmer)"Ok people, I know you're angry, I know you're disgruntled, I know you need to relieve a little stress, and I'm here to help. Now everyone pick up your chair, let out a big shout, and imagine it hitting whoever you want...yeah...that's it..."
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl
Cut out the security reviews they implemented several years ago.
Eliminate debugging cycles...
Oh, and cut out the design phase..."Gotta get that code out the door and if we don't start coding now, we'll never get done in time..."
Oh, wait, they never had a design phase...That was actually the "marketing feature list" phase.
Oh, and last but not least...postpone the "Universal Searchable Filesystem" until Windows 2010...
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
Google is the least of their problems -- They only choose to make it so.
Exactly. Microsoft needs an "enemy." Whenever they corner a new market they enter something new to challenge the market leader in that segment. It's how they keep that "underdog" attitude they always seem to have...
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge"
- Charles Darwin
The job was just too slack, and it showed with management who would take our entire team out to Hooters resturant, come back 2 or 3 hours later drunk off their asses. The boss would invite me to go with them, but I really dont like getting drunk in the early afternoon. We had mini-fridges in the lab and occasionally people would start drinking at noon.
No wonder "Microsoft employees are critical of their employers". Who would really want a job like that?
By the way, in an unrelated question, what's was the email id of the hiring manager?
> (I was a dev for Avalon (the presentation layer of Longhorn (Vista)))
They should have had you writing the LISP interperter.
My other car is first.
They already did hire me, ass. And I left them about 3 months ago.
Next time, try the Psychic Friends Network. They don't know the answer either, but they are friendlier, cost less, speak English, and won't waste your time.