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Microsoft Helping Nigeria Fight Scammers
encodics writes "News.com is carrying a story today about how Nigeria is asking Microsoft for help in fighting scammers." From the article: "Microsoft will provide technical expertise, training and other security resources to Nigeria's Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), which is tasked with fighting cybercrime in the country. Nigeria was initially slow to respond to the problem of '419' e-mail scammers operating in the country, who were duping unsuspecting Internet users out of thousands of pounds by promising a share of the secret multimillion-pound fortune of a deposed African dictator. "
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Matubu Huntu Smith, my father was the head of "Nigeria's Economic and Financial Crimes Commission" until his untimely death. I am writing to implore you to assist me getting a large sum of money out of my country. We will need much security help to accomplish this and I am repaired to compensate you at a rate of 52% of the nearly twenty two million dollars my father was able to secure before his death.....
I lost my sig...
Chairman tender
Board of nigerian
National petroleum
Coporation (n.n.p.c)
Tel:+234-80-33013920
Fax:+234-1-7597156
Dear:sir/madam,
I guess this letter may come to you as a surprise since i had no
Previous Correspondence with you. I am the chairman tender board of nigeria National Petroleum coporation (nnpc) i got your contact in the course of my Search For a reliable person with whom to handle a very confidential Transaction Involving the transfer of fund valued eight million two hundred Thousand United states dollars ($8.2m) to a safe foreign account.
The above fund in question is not connected with arms, drugs or money
Laundering. It is the product of over invoice on contract awarded in
2005 by nnpc, to Microsoft for providing technical expertise, training and other security resources to Nigeria's Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), which is tasked with fighting cybercrime in the country. The
Contract has long been executed and payment of the actual contract
Amount Made to the foreign contractor leaving the balance of $8.2m u.s
Dollars in A dormant account which my colleagues and i now want to transfer out of Nigeria into a reliable foreign account for our personal use.
--H
Thousands? Only thousands? What a rip-off. My deposed dictator offered me $350 millions for only $500 of participation.
--
Mad science! Robots! Underwear! Cute girls! Full comic online! http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/
asking McDonalds to solve a food shortage problem in Africa.
In hopes that they will use it, significantly slowing down their ability to manage their ill-gotten gains.
Doesn't seem to me that Nigeria needs help from M$ to scam Americans... Although MS has been doing it a lot longer...
Dictator? She told me she was an african princess! I feel so used...
1835 73rd Ave NE
Medina, WA 98039
USA
Dear President Obasanjo,
My name is WILLIAM HENRY GATES III, and I am President of the Microsoft Corporation...
I am writing to acquire your assistance in recovering significant assets I have acquired from monopolistic business practices. Due to a recent antitrust lawsuit settlement, the funds are being held up by a bunch of government lawyers.
I am willing to pay you $50 million dollars to help me liberate these assets, please provide your banking information so I can wire you the funds.
Sincerely, Bill Gates
Nigeria was initially slow to respond to the problem of '419' e-mail scammers operating in the country, who were duping unsuspecting Internet users out of thousands of pounds by promising a share of the secret multimillion-pound fortune of a deposed African dictator.
At least they are combating the obesity epidemic.
On a related note check out today's foxtrot comic.
I read
It has come to our attention that you are using Linux machines to send emails to all your "investors". You may or may not have heard, but Linux is completely unstable and prone to frequent crashing, bad drivers, and general malaise. I would like to propose an initial offering of 100 copies of our much superior OS. If you can provide your bank account routing numbers, we would be happy to draft your account for each copy of the OS, as well as each time we need to upgrade it, to thawrt off those pesky viruses (Linux does not do this for you, but instead requires lengthy downloads and pesky manual installations). Once in place, your nigerian scam emails will be sent out blazingly faster, and we will share 52% of the earnings this creates with you (over 100 BILLION dollars from our tests). Please do not google for BSOD, M$ sucks, or anything similar, as it will impede our ability to help you out with this offer.
Yours truly,
Bill
To the CHAIRMAN of MICROSOFT CORPORATION
Dear MR or MISS CHAIRMAN,
I am OLUSEGUN OBASANJO, the current president of Nigeria, a country in West Africa. I have been referred
to you after Conducting Enquiries, and I hope you treat this contact as a sincere and confidential message
from a friend. Contacts through the Internet have become difficult, with many scammers and tricky boys.
It recently came to my notice that my predecessor, General SANI ABACHA, who is still in good heart and
health, despite my daily visits to the leopard fetish, left a large number of TOP QUALITY SCAMMERS alive
and well in the country of Nigeria, especially concentrated in two regions: Lagos, and Port Harcourt,
thanks to the presence of many internet cafes in those regions.
These scammers, also known as "419 boyos", present me, and my present regime, with a problem. We cannot
ship them out of the country legally, since the very presence of such a mass of scammers in any single
plane or aiport lounge would cause the substance and material of the local internet to collapse, not
to mention the local economy, which would surely be drained of all resources as the boyos did their work.
I am actually contacting you because I have understood that Microsoft has certain problems that we may
be able to resolve in a beneficial fashion.
My Minister for International Relations, Dr Shine-Shine BOBO, has overseen a series of tests. We have
compared the top-rated business development consultants from the USA, India, the UK (London), and the
Chinese Economic Development Zone. We found that the average time taken to sell a new license of Windows
VISTA to the average ITC manager was between two hours and five days, according to the economic incentives
offered, the availability of compromising photos of the aforementioned manager, and the presence or not of
on-site "sales assistants", most of whom previously worked as security personnel for Russian businessmen.
Next, Dr BOBO tested the skills of a group of 419 boyos, captured in a lighting raid by the Special
Business Improvement Task Force (Armed) last July in Benin city. We gave them the choice of selling
VISTA or being tortured with chili peppers (this has worked very well for tax collection, and the
Ministry of Finance has now a special Pepper Insertion unit, responsible for a 30% increase in tax
revenues since 2003!). Most chose VISTA, and the results were impressive!
Not only did 80% of managers agree to buy VISTA within 1.5 hours (as compared to 30% after three hours,
and 60% after two days), but these managers also agreed to pay an average of $150,000 per licensed seat.
Dear MR slash MISS CHAIRMAN. I do not need to mention that with virtual licensing, this could raise
as much as $600,000 per computer.
We are willing to provide you with our best 419 boyos in exchange for only 10% of this new and
exciting revenue stream.
Please contact me rapidly, my email address is obasanjo_olegun_the_second@gmail.com. If you are
serious in your intentions, I will invite you to Abuja to meet my wives.
BEST REGARDS
O. OBASANJO
My blog
When does scamming have to do with Microsoft Windows XP?
----- You know you have ego issues when you register a domain in your name.
I see you work for the Microsoft. How's work at the Microsoft? Are you enjoying being part of the Microsoft?
I'll bet the Nigerians heard about that Email Tracking Program Bill tested a few years ago. That would be really helpful in seeing who spammed and who got spammed along the way!
Why, oh why, didn't I take the Blue Pill?