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Capitalizing on Melting Polar Ice

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the 05ers-just-doesn't-have-the-same-ring dept.

efuzzyone writes "As an affect of global warming, the polar ice caps seem to be slowly receding, what do you do? The NYT reports it is a gold rush, 'the Arctic is undergoing nothing less than a great rush for virgin territory and natural resources worth hundreds of billions of dollars.' Also, 'polar thaw is also starting to unlock other treasures: lucrative shipping routes, perhaps even the storied Northwest Passage; new cruise ship destinations; and important commercial fisheries.'"

19 of 505 comments (clear)

  1. Yep by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can hear Pres. Bush's spin on it now: "...Just imagine the further untapped resources we could discover by not joining the Kyoto agreement."

    1. Re:Yep by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      you said that wrong....

      GW will say it like this.. ....just imagine. . . . . . the further untapped. . . . . ..resources we could deliver by . . . . . .not joining the Ka-ma-moto agreement. My advisors have informed me. . . .that. . . . . .this is a good thing for america. All the new high value lake front property that will be created. . . . . . .and it will help the economy. . . . . just like 9/11.

      you forget the 10-30 second pauses where you can see him actively trying to not be distracted by some shiny object in the room and complate his speech.

    2. Re:Yep by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      you forget the 10-30 second pauses where you can see him actively trying to not be distracted by some shiny object in the room and complate his speech.


      The current President is not an idiot, as you are trying to infer. There's simply a great deal of latency when his words are relayed from Satan to Cheney to the brain-implant in his head. The dropped packets are due to all the coke.

    3. Re:Yep by SnarfQuest · · Score: 2, Funny

      If he would just sign it, then we can save the mars ice-caps! They are obviously being destroyed by American SUV's polluting the Martian atmosphere! And by the lack of Pirates! Until the Koyoto protocol includes a method to increase the number of pirates in the world, it will never be able to solve global warming!

      --
      Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
    4. Re:Yep by aklix · · Score: 2, Funny

      You forgot his laugh that he uses on even the most serious subjects.

      EhEhEhEhEhEh :)

  2. and, by Hawthorne01 · · Score: 4, Funny

    beachfront property in Sacramento!

    --
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
  3. This is great! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    When the air gets too polluted to breathe, I'll finally be able to make my money selling oxygen franchises! I love the free market!

  4. Great. by Sebby · · Score: 4, Funny

    "lucrative shipping routes, perhaps even the storied Northwest Passage; new cruise ship destinations; and important commercial fisheries."

    Great. Add more pollution to the area. Just what it needs! :)

    --

    AC comments get piped to /dev/null
  5. Pirates? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let's all hope the gold will attract more pirates!

    1. Re:Pirates? by lexarius · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yes. We need more than 17.

  6. Suddenly Canada becomes desireable! by incom · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe my acres of permafrosted land around hudson's bay weren't such a bad investment afterall! Drive those SUV's boys, I want palms and bannana trees in my scenery!

    --
    True genius is grasping a situation like a peice of fruit, and peircing it just right so that it drains dry.
  7. Re:Anyone.. by icepick72 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, it's going to be just like the movie Waterworld. A lot of people said that movie sucks, but obviously it holds the keys to survival in the future. I'm going out to buy my copy right now, along with the other 4 billion of you. Who knew! Maybe even Duke Nukem forever will provide useful information ... if it arrives in time.

  8. Denial of global warming by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Those who deny global warming are just so predictable.

    First they say "there is no such thing as global warming."
    Then they say "there is no proof that there is global warming."
    Now they say "there is no proof that global warming is bad."
    And they say "look, global warming is good!"
    Soon they'll say "there is no proof that God didn't make this happen."
    Then they'll say "it's written right here in the book that this will happen."
    Then they'll say "it's one more reason to believe. God works in strange and mysterious ways."
    Then they'll say "of course Haliburton should get a no-bid contract to build levees around North America."
    Then they'll say "of course all the blue states on the coasts should pay for their own levees, while paying to subsidize the farms of the red states."
    Then they'll say "isn't global warming wonderful! Praise the Lord!"

  9. Eep by thegnu · · Score: 5, Funny

    'polar thaw is also starting to unlock other treasures: lucrative shipping routes, perhaps even the storied Northwest Passage

    Primarily, this will open up trades route with Hell, which incidentally is short on handbaskets.

    --
    Please stop stalking me, bro.
  10. How can this be? Bush wasn't even alive. by ccmay · · Score: 3, Funny
    this Florida land boom will get snuffed out by hurricanes just like the last one did way back in the 20's.

    This can't be right. George Bush wasn't even born then. How could there possibly have been hurricanes, or any other evil or dangerous thing?

    Oh! I see: Halliburton Co., founded 1919. That explains it.

    -ccm

    --
    Too much Law; not enough Order.
  11. Maybe Bill Hicks was on to something... by confield · · Score: 2, Funny

    Looks like it's a good time to start investing in property along the picturesque Arizona Bay.

  12. Re:New cruise ship destinations? by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    1955: "Oh Fuck, I'm being sent to Siberia"

    2060: "Woopeee! Were gonna cruze to green Siberia!"

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  13. It's the end of the world as we know it... by payote · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...and I feel fine. Global Warming is the new Capitalism. The irony is just so... ironic.

    --


    Never pet a burning dog.
  14. Dammit.... by mormop · · Score: 2, Funny

    So you've finally worked it out, the truth being that your president is really Robobush !!!! (You'll have to imagine some dramatic chords). Yes it's true people of America, Robobush was made in secret by Jaque chirac and gerhard schroeder and deployed in place of the real GWB to cripple US science, pollute your air, get your schools teaching that the world was created by a spaghetti Monster, God , whatever, and piss your economy away on sending soldiers all over the world.

    The only clues were that sometimes it uses the right words but not necessarily in the right order, needs constant recharging vacations and upon being told of the 2nd Tower being hit crashed and did nothing for several minutes.

    Don't think that voting Democrat will help you as Robo- Hilary is having the final touches put on now.

    MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    --
    Hmmmmmm..... Deep fried and look like Squirrel.