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Jack Thompson Calls Cops on Penny-Arcade
Anon1001 sent us the latest developments in the ongoing saga between Miami Attorney Jack Thompson and Penny-Arcade. So far the story goes that Jack has filed a wrongful death suit against Rock Star, claiming that GTA is a cop killing training simulator responsible for the murder of a pair of cops. He also
offered $10k to charity if anyone who would develop some ridiculous murder spree game. When someone did it, and he changed his mind and Penny-Arcade donated the cash instead. All of this is being documented on the Penny Arcade website, in phone calls, rants and comics, as well as an 'I Hate Jack Thompson' T-Shirt. (Note, Slashdot's parent company owns ThinkGeek).
He has now
called the cops claiming harassment. Update: 10/18 17:40 GMT by Z : It seems like this confrontation has been brewing all summer. The most recent altercation is just another link in the chain made by Thompson's reaction to Hot Coffee and his crusade against the Sims 2. Further, PA has put up the scan of the letter to the cops, and a photo of the check.
It's going to happen very soon now, as Jack is getting loonier and loonier. He keeps dancing around direct legal threats, because he knows what will happen. Soon he will slip, and soon after that he won't be a lawyer anymore, and won't THAT be a shame?
"Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm fucked."; ~ Donald J. Trump
and your name is drew... hmmmmmmmm.. plug perhaps? is THAT why all slashdots stories end up on fark after they're posted? hmmmmmm?
(ducks)
** "It's not my job to stand between the people talking to me, and the ones listening to me." -- Pego the Jerk
He also offered $10k to charity if anyone who would develop some ridiculous murder spree game.
What the fuck does that even mean?!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
IAAL, and I gotta say, Jack Thompson, YOU SUCK.
"These idiots have been so careless as to post on their www.pennyarcade.com web site what they are doing regarding the harassment of me."
In the same sentence he's call them idiots he gives the wrong web address.
Hey, looks like a written attack on Penny Arcade. They should counter sue on the grounds that they are not idiots :-)
I will offer 10K* to the first person who makes a game involving running Jack Thompson over with an 18-wheeler .**
*10k meaning a 10k text file composed of the words "Jack Thompson is a twit" , as opposed to 10,000 in money
**This is satire , a parody of Jack Thompsons Parody ***
*** This , like J. Thompsons Satire is poor Satire .
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
Ok, if GTA is a "cop killing training simulator", then what does that say about the compentency of our police force?
I remember a spot in GTA 3 where I could hide under an overpass and the cops would all jump off the top to their deaths...this would continue indefinately and I found it rather amusing. And now that I know that this is what would happen in real life, I'm going on a crime spree rampage during which I'll wipe out the town's entire police force by crouching near an overpass.
Just one, and surpise, he's a lawyer.
-Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
Jack Thomson is trying to SAVE YOU! Ever since the first Lemming exploded the video game industry has been corrupting your minds. You all clearly lack the ability to discern sliding a CG mock-up car through a crowded bus stop in Carmageddon from real world laws and morals. GTA and Bully will spell the end for all the decent God fearing folk of your great nation! Won't someone please think of the children?!!! *SOB!* *WEEP* *MOAN* What's Next?! GTIB?!!! (Grand Theft Investment Banker) GTE?!!!! (Grand Theft Election) What kind of example would that set for the financial and political leaders of the last bastion of freedom and high-holiness in the world?
..i'm immediately reminded of Walter Peck from Ghost Busters.
;)
Hopefully when the phoned up the police to ask them to arrest the Penny Arcade guys, the police officer on the phone said "You do your job pencil neck, don't tell me how to do mine!"
"Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!!"
Did anyone else realize.... Citizens United Negating Technology For Life Aand People's Safety
However, it doesn't constitute harrasment. A bunch of geeks calling his house or hacking into his email or whatever else does, though. I don't know if that sort of this is happening yet, but you can bet it will if this continues.
He could always try to make the claim that their followers are doing the bidding of Gabe and Tycho by harrassing the douchebag. They even put up a link to his personal info on their site.
That said, I'd love to hear that call to the cops:
Hello police? Drop that missing child case and get a load of this: two guys said UNKIND things about me on the internet! They promote video games that glorify violence against cops and are displeasing to your grandma.
yes, I'll hold....
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
From the testimonial section.
"Growing up in a strict religious house hold, I did not know what a penis or a vagina was. Then I got hooked on the internet. Now, I am ashamed to admit I have both."
- Name withheld
"I've always had a healthy sexual appetite. Around the time I hit puberty, I became sexually fixated with my grandmother. I could not get her out of my mind. People told me it was wrong, but I honestly believed that they were lying. If it feels so right, how can it be wrong, right? Wrong! I heard about the interweb. I went online expecting to discover a whole secret society of people JUST like me who loved much elder relatives, and hoped that for the first time since I gave up fantasizing about my sister, I could feel normal. How wrong I was. No one is obsessed with their grandma aside from me. I am a complete freak, and completely alone. The internet has ruined EVERYTHING. The worst of it is I STILL LOVE HER!"
- Brain Baylor, Shady Pines
ROFL
Have you ever considered that you might hate them, too, if you just took the time to get to know them?
I am not a crackpot.
for Jack Thompson to release a book and benefit from all this free publicity.
Oh, wait a second.
Not Obvious, So Happy I Told. Somebody Has Easily Ruined Laughter Over Coward Kibosh
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
It appears he's even launched a DNS attack against Penny Arcade's server! He's brought it to its knees. That bastard!
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
The most likely way that he would receive professional discipline would be as a result of one or more well-reasoned, viable complaints to the bar.
I believe this is the proper form.
I love how he says that these people "trained extensively" on video games. Because pressing a button on a controller or mouse is obviously equivilent to firing a gun accurately.
I'd also love to hear him explain how using the BFG trains you for anything at all.
Your argument implies corruption at every level of government. On what facts are you basing this assertion?
My guess would be the last ~10,000 years of human history.
What would Lemmy do?
Mad props for the word "disbarilarity", dude.
I think it's also valid to mention that not only are the police officers armed, their training isn't limited to excessive Grand Theft Auto play.
is a _damning_ indictment...
I have a nice graph for you about pirates vs global warming: http://www.venganza.org/piratesarecool4.jpg
Clearly, we need to draft people into pirating and stop global warming before it gets even more out of hand!
Don't worry, all your base are belong to us!
Jack Thompson proposes a game in which a father kills innocent people related in some way to gaming, as revenge for his son's death. Someone actually made that game as a mod--and this is irony, if you missed it--to Grand Theft Auto.
If JT wants anyone to play his game, and get vicarious revenge on the game industry, they have to purchase GTA to play it.
Well, I don't own a copy yet. Guess I'll go get one.
BTW, if your reply to this post defines "irony" for me, I'll fucking stab you. Damn, video games do make you violent!
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
Anything that has "abortion" in it's link and is stated to be "oozing" is something I really really have to think twice about before clicking.
Karnal
can you believe it? Jack Tompson did all this. he picked me off the street, strapped my arms and legs down in the lawyermobile's passenger seat, and just wouldn't stop fondling my cock'n'balls.
they definately were red flag touches. the goddamn referee he had in the back seat kept on raising up this red flag every time he touched my junk but did Jack Tompson care? NO WAY! he just kept on doing it. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on, indeed. I pleaded with Jack Tompson but to no avail. I told him the city would not approve of such a crazy nutjob touching an underage kid like me (at the time I was 13) without at least compensating me for the trauma and the use of my body as his own personal plaything.
this got to him, worrying about his image. he continued to fondle me, all the while ignoring the referee's red flags. then he drove the lawyermobile to my house and ejected the seat i was in! it was amazing. but surprisingly, after I woke up the next morning, my bank account had $150k in it!!! Can you believe it??????
I'm sure we'll all send our prayer to your office most of us really think you need all the help you can get. You seem to be losing your grip on reality, and are suffering some kind of delusions of grandeur and just a bit of a suicidal in the way you've gone and made your self a highly visable target; alarmingly a realativly simple google search on your office address turns up as the number one link, your complaint against California-licensed attorney, Mark Geragos who was attorney for Scott Peterson in his murder trial; that complaint as required by California law not only lists your office address and phone number but your home address, home phone number and cell phone number.
We are begging you to realise life is not a video game, you have no free extra lives in the bank, when some whacko finaly tracks you down and puts a bullet in you it will most likely hurt you very badly or kill you, Please be careful
Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
This graph aptly demonstrates that pirates are cool.
I stole this sig from a more creative user.
I would pay for a shirt that says Jack Thompson murders kittens!
Then again, maybe I'll say I'll pay for that shirt and recend my offer when someone prints it, I hear its what laywers do these days.
Things are about to get really interesting. Why? This quote from PennyArcade, updated at 6:30pm: "I don't think we can just ignore him anymore. --Gabe"
Translation: "Jack, you are about to be ridiculed like no other person in the history of the internet. Before this is over, you will be embarassed to speak your own name outloud, former friends will openly laugh in your face, children and animals will mistrust you, and you will reflexively spit at your own reflection out of disgust. And just when you think that things can't get worse, or perhaps it's all over, the fun will begin anew. "
Or, to paraphrase: "Jack, baby, you really fucked up."
That depends on if you kill or just subdue.
At the top of the Fax, and in the letter head, it says "John Thompson", not Jack Thompson. Are we dealing with multiple personalities here, or did he forget how to spell his own name?
[insert witty comment here]
"I replied to a Jack Thompson email and all I got was this T-Shirt.
(And sued for harrassment)"
"Jack Thompson thinks I'm an Idiot Gamer.
(I think he's a Senile Douchebag)"
"Common Sense 16, Jack Thompson 0"
"Jack Thompson is a senile old moron."
"(Picture of an ambulance being chased by a car)
Jack Thompson: Turing Tragedy into Profit since 1975."
I've seen a can of spaghetti on a campfire explode.
Now that was funny! Spaghetti hanging from trees, people running around covered in spaghetti screaming about the spaghetti burns.
If you ever have the chance to secretly lob a can into a campfire - do it. It will keep you laughing for hours!
But what if the t-shirt says: "Tom Jackson is a dyslexic mother fucker"?
"That's so plausible, I can't believe it!" - Leela
John B. Thompson, Attorney at Law
1172 South Dixie Hwy., Suite 111
Coral Gables, Florida 33146
305-666-4366
jackpeace@comcast.net
August 5, 2005
zomg he is the devil !!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
*sigh*, I apologize. I'm always nervous my first time ;p
...I figure I'm pretty low on his To-Sue list, so I'll expect my indictment in several years.
Greetings, first post. I am but a boy of 18, an avid gamer, and a lover of all that is slightly rebellious yet not-so-criminal.
With that said, I give you people the conversation held between Mr. Thompson and Me: Italics is Narration
I stumble across his phone number. I write something short and sweet and give the man a ring. It rings about 12 times before I get his voicemail/answering machine. I hang up, figuring it's 10:30PM, he's probably not in his office, and furthermore, I have all evening tomorrow to pick up the phone and give him a call.
I am on my way to replace the phone handset when it rings again. Lo-and-behold, it says Jack Thompson on the Caller ID.
r0bVious (r0b): Hello?
Jack Thompson (JT): What do you want?
I decide to play dumb.
r0b: Excuse me? Who is this?
JT: What do you want?
Seeing as that's not going anywhere...
r0b: Oh! Is this Jack Thompson?
JT: Yes. What do you want?
Then I begin saying what I had pre-written.
r0b: Mr. Thompson, I apologize about it being so late, but I just wanted to let you know that I support your actions versus the gaming industry.
Without people like you, we'd have to find other reasons to make Canada look so good.
Please, don't run for president.
Sue me.
I hang up. Satisfied. A nice hearty vent.
I, once again, am going to return the handset, when it rings once more.
Who could it be? I'll give you one guess.
JT: Let me tell you something...
I am too humored and surprised to come up with anything better than an obviously false voice. Even I was disappointed with what came out.
r0b:squeaky-voiced Who is this?
Vindictive JT laugh.
JT: Let me tell you something...
I have your number, and you need an attorney.
I am utterly floored. I had read he was threat-happy, but I just didn't really believe it until I heard it first-hand.
r0b: Truely stunned, You're going to sue me for giving you a call?..
JT: Slower; Evil-er (honestly), You got it.
Looking back, after he had said I needed an attorney, I should have asked if he was free. (Thanks for putting up with me and my craptastic formatting intuition.)
"Jack Johnson should have been a blowjob."