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eBay Wants Voice Phone Free In Five Years
kmk writes "In a few short years, users can expect to make telephone calls for free, with no per-minute charges, as part of a package of services through which carriers make money on advertising or transaction fees, eBay's chief executive said on Wednesday."
Looks like eBay is hurting... and it's not just because of the Skype purchase.
From the article:
"EBay said it had 168.1 registered users for its online auctions as of the end of September."
"The number you have reached is no longer in service. Please check the advertisement and try again. Zero, one, four, twenty."
1. I call someone... while it's connecting me I have to wait 60 seconds to listen to an ad...
2. Other person picks up the phone... they have to listen to a 60 second ad just to talk to me.
3. Oops, it's a wrong number. So I have to go back to step one and waste another 60 seconds.
4. ???
5. Profit!
Office Space trivia game - play it now douche hole.
What does Dungeons and Dragons have to do with this?!
me: So greg, my friends and i were going over to the bar ...
....FUCKING THING!
*BEEEP* you said bar, you may want to check out Punters pub, tonight we have free chicken wings! *BEEEP*
me: urrg. Sorry about that, so we were going to that....place and were drinking some beer...
*BEEEEP* You said beer. Have you tasted the cool, clean refreshing taste of budweister today? *BEEEEP*
me:
*BEEP* YOu said fuck, have you called 1-900-hot-chix today, for the best in....
Now I know. The cheap bastards are waiting for free phone service.
"National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
"So I was at work, right? And in comes this customer and.... **We interrupt this call to bring you this exciting informational bulletin! Is your toilet getting messy? Try new ShitWipers, new from S. C. Johnson Wax! For a 5-minute instructional tutorial on how to use your new ShitWipers...press...one! To speak to a representative about new ShitWipers...press...two. To learn about our exciting Web site at ShitWipers dot com...press...three. To hear why ShitWipers are superior to competing toilet wipe products...press...four. To resume your phone call, dial...pound...three...five...seven...one. This message will repeat in 5 seconds. **
>FIVE<
I'm sorry, but you didn't respond quickly enough. This message will now repeat.
We interrupt this call to bring you this exciting informational bulletin! Is your toilet getting messy? Try new ShitWipers, new from...
>FIVE<
I'm sorry, you cannot press buttons until this announcement has completed.
We interrupt this call to bring you this exciting informational..."
With spending like this, exactly what are "conservatives" conserving?
Ha! I can't wait for this! I'll be talking to my mom on the phone, only to have another incoming call, indicated by the usual beep. However, this time, it isn't a person; it's an ad for penis enlargement.
This is more like Microsoft going into the vacuum cleaner business and making something that doesn't suck for a change.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
Fortunately, under Betamax, you will be able to timeshift your conversations using a PCR (Personal Conversation Recorder) and skip the ads. That is unless your conversations are flagged to protect their copyright integrity.
~Someday, I hope to be an aspiring author.
Awesome for geeks anyway... we'll all just use adblockers or alternative, open-source brows... er phones.
Male voice: Hello?
Female voice: Hi, John, I just thought I'd give you a ring and see how you're doing?
Male voice: Hey, I'm glad you called, I...
Announcer: HI! DO I DETECT A HAPPY YOUNG COUPLE? HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF USING TROJAN (TM) BRAND CONDOMS?
Male voice: Uh...
Female voice: Uh...
Male voice: Look, mom, this isn't a good time. Maybe we can talk at Thanksgiving?
Female voice: Yeah...
In the year 2020, the only way to block 24/7 ads is to gougue out your eyes and pop your eardrums.
However, by 2021 nanobots will constantly press on the skin of the deaf and blind with brail ads.
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
Based on the conversation you are having .. you will hear ads. Don't worry I am sure the interruptions will be polite...
..if you buy in bulk .. I can even dial the number for you now to reserve your case.. note your current call will be interrupted.
*ring*
GF: Hello
You: Hey baby
Voice: Sorry to interrupt, did you know that you can buy Hay at a really low price from Bob's farm on route 64?
You: o..
Voice: And for your baby, there is a special on Baby food going on right at Joe's Groceryu store
You: I'm not interested
Voice: No problem. I see that you called a different lady prior to this call, so you may be interested in our new "more friends" plan?
knock knock
who's there?
interrupting cow
interrupting co MOOO!
I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.