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ESRB Should Stand Down?

Posted by Zonk on from the kersplosion-of-koncern dept.

Next Generation has a piece wondering if the ESRB should step down in favour of an independent board, to restore the faith of consumers in the game ratings system. They talk with a company that proposes just that, wanting to substitute a new system for the current model. From the article: "Profanity Sex Violence (PSV) Ratings differ from the ESRB in that they describe levels of sex, violence and profanity in games (using a traffic light system) instead of judging a game to be appropriate for a certain age."

6 of 140 comments (clear)

  1. A better solution by hambonewilkins · · Score: 4, Funny
    Every game should ship with an airhorn and a flashing light. Now, bear with me here: low-level games, like, say, Lion King or Mario Sunshine, will flash a green light (the light will be affixed to the top of the box and should be the size of a soda can). The airhorn will let out a mild sound, much like a bike horn when touched. This is warning parents - hey, there might be some jumping or kicking involved, but mostly it is okay.

    For, say, Grand Theft Auto, the game would ship with a giant red light (the size of your head) that flashes like a strobe light. An airhorn, much like those used on a tug boat, will sound when the game is picked up. That way, parents can know - "Hey, warning! I should pay attention to this!"

    Obviously we can't trust parents to see the big letter M on the front or take note of either the game's title or graphics on the box. Parents must just be picking up these boxes and staring straight ahead when they throw them on the counter. My solution of enormous siren/light combo will clearly inform parents and at a minimal cost of $5-25 per box.

    --

    God Bless America. Why? Did it sneeze?
  2. Re:Yeah, like it will change anything by QuantumG · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow. So you let kids into R-rated movies in the US? No wonder Hillary Clinton is on a crusade.

    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
  3. Re:Yeah, like it will change anything by QuantumG · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah, but scumbag theatre owners who don't give a shit are free to sell tickets to minors. Great system.

    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
  4. Re:Good Idea by mooingyak · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't think Americans in general hate sex, but I'm pretty sure my wife does.

    --
    William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
  5. Re:Detailed ratings are behind glass by StocDred · · Score: 2, Funny
    Of course once you ask the employee to open the case for you, you can look at that back and tell them to put it back if you don't agree with the games content.

    Yes, but most good American parents would prefer not to actually touch a video game box, for fear it might instantly corrupt them. It's better to just ban them all and get kids back to playing with hula hoops or something.

  6. The "Jack Thompson" scheme by DavidLeblond · · Score: 2, Funny

    Obviously we should adopt a "Jack Thompson" scheme. This is where the rating is replaced with a letter representing which social outcast the game turns you into.

    For instance, Grand Theft Auto would be rated "CK" for Cop Killer.
    Sims 2 would simply be rated "P" for Pedophile.
    Seeing how Doom 3 is a murder simulator, it would obviously get an "M" rating.
    Lego Starwars would be rated "W" for Whore. Why? Well because P for Prostitute was already taken!