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The Microsoft Singularity

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the dependability-would-be-nice dept.

jose parinas writes ""Microsoft Research has published the first details of a wholly new operating system under development called Singularity, designed new from the ground up, built on a new language and designed with emphasis on dependability instead of performance.""

23 of 615 comments (clear)

  1. Oh, let me be the first to say it! by RobertB-DC · · Score: 4, Funny

    I've heard that Microsoft Singularity sucks.

    (Go ahead, mod me down... I deserve it.)

    --
    Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
    1. Re:Oh, let me be the first to say it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Mod you down? I'm just bitter you got to that joke first!

    2. Re:Oh, let me be the first to say it! by NickFortune · · Score: 3, Funny

      Is the name not a reference to their policy on IP? They pull in ideas from all over, but none of them ever make it back over the threshold....

      --
      Don't let THEM immanentize the Eschaton!
  2. Singularity... by pwnage · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Because when we blue screen, all of your data goes down into a black hole."

    --
    Reminder: Apple owns 1/255th of the internet.
    1. Re:Singularity... by NanoGator · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Because when we blue screen, all of your data goes down into a black hole."

      Tee hee giggle snort. That was funny! I'd say more, but Full House is on! Cya!

      --
      "Derp de derp."
  3. singularity by technicolor.cavalry · · Score: 3, Funny

    so this one is going to be *so bad* that it's impossible to predict what will happen after its release?

  4. MS-DOS 7.0 by simetra · · Score: 2, Funny
    Yeah baby!

    --

    "Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?" -- Maya Angelou
  5. Like a Black hole? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    So, a new OS that can distroy all data AND matter.

    So much more advanced than a BSOD.

  6. /.'ed by wiggles · · Score: 4, Funny

    Reliability, eh? Obviously, their web server isn't based on this OS.

  7. Server Error in '/' by jpsowin · · Score: 3, Funny
    Server Error in '/' Application.

    Runtime Error


    Wow, that page came up pretty fast. I guess their web server is built for performance instead of dependability.
  8. Slashdotted in six comments. by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Funny
    > We're sorry -- you have reached this page because a web server error occurred. There are many possible causes for this type of error, so we can't be more specific.

    Current setup was slashdotted within six comments.

    Future setup will place an "emphasis on dependability instead of performance".

    I'd say it sucks galactic black holes through buckytube, but that still wouldn't approach the Singular suckitude we're looking for.

    Bite my dimly red-shifted neutronium ass.

  9. New UI? by Pinback · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will the user interface be called Event Horizon?

  10. right on! by isotope23 · · Score: 1, Funny

    wholly new operating system under development called Singularity,

    appropriate name, as the gravitational pull of bloated code will cause
    the OS to implode into the black screen of death....

    --
    Service guarantees Citizenship! Questions Guarantee GITMO.... Amerika Uber Alles!
  11. At last, an honest ship date! by n6mod · · Score: 2, Funny

    Glad to see they're sticking with their naming convention... This just confirms that it will take MS until the end of time to ship a stable OS.

    --
    You have violated Robot's Rules of Order and will be asked to leave the future immediately.
    1. Re:At last, an honest ship date! by Dirtside · · Score: 2, Funny
      This just confirms that it will take MS until the end of time to ship a stable OS.
      Well, duh. What do you think Milliways runs on its terminals?
      --
      "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
  12. In other news... by Lendrick · · Score: 5, Funny

    Last week, the latest build of Windows Vista became so horrendously bloated that it underwent gravitational collapse... coincidence?

  13. It was designed for performance? by MECC · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow.

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
  14. Not really by I+Like+Pudding · · Score: 3, Funny

    Black holes can't destroy information nearly as well as an MS OS can.

  15. Re:Papers? by joschm0 · · Score: 3, Funny
    I dare you to name one.

    Well let's see, there was Bob. Now that was real innovation.

    --
    01/20/09
  16. Re:Define "innovation" in that context. by jcr · · Score: 2, Funny

    to generalize their contribution to modern computing as nothing more than theft and good marketing is pure garbage.

    Perhaps you can specify some of their alleged contributions?

    That's OK, we'll wait.

    -jcr

    --
    The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
  17. Relativistic O/S by psbrogna · · Score: 2, Funny

    Perhaps due to time distortion effects, Singularity will reach production before Vista. : )

  18. Re:And they are hiring ... by Master+of+Transhuman · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Microsoft...supports workforce diversity."

    Yeah, we keep you separate from anybody with a clue. Can't have you getting one.

    That's why we want PhDs with a proven track record of publication in top venues. Got forbid you've ever written a program for a real end user that has to do a real job.

    And no way we want anybody who knows what the words "antitrust" or "truth" means.

    --
    Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
  19. I heard of this by Anonymous+Writer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Isn't it used in Romulan Warbirds?