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German IT Outfit Bans Whining
theodp writes "German IT outfit Nutzwerk Ltd has come up with the perfect solution to whining in the workplace - it's made cheerfulness a contractual obligation, advising those who don't measure up to the prescribed level of jollity in the morning to stay at home until they cheer up. The plan was prompted by a female employee whose constant complaining prompted the other staff to complain about her complaining."
Mayor of New York: "Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right."
Next, they'll require employees to wear flair! 20 pieces "minimum"..
The beatings will continue until morale improves!
Might as well ban women in the workplace.
-d
"Here Lies Philip J. Fry, named for his uncle, to carry on his spirit"
Obligatory Office Space Quote:
"Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays"...
"Enjoy yourself or I'll beat you!"
Sent from my ASR33 using ASCII
Okay, so now you can complain at home. That's great, maybe not so enjoyable but at least you're still paid. Well, how many complaining days will have per year? Also, wouldn't be cheaper to have a national complaining day? So every one could complain at the same time. My 2 cents ;)
Million Dollar Screenshot
Artist's Sketch of the Female Employee
But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyy???? ;-)
Funnyhacks - Wierd, unusual, and fun hacks
But it's not a dupe so the editors are making progress!
http://despair.com/demotivation.html
Great new book on Evolution: The Greatest Show on Earth by Richard Dawkins
Without the right to complain, sexual harassment can continue unhindered. I will be able to make happy comments about personal appearances related to sexuality all day long. All positive and complimentary; Awesome. May the best skirt win. Bonus points for obvious thongs and diaphanous clothing.
Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lay in a valley far, far away in the mountains the most contented kingdom the world has ever known. It was called Happy Valley, and it was ruled over by a wise old king called Otto. And all his subjects flourished and were happy, and there were no discontents or grumblers, because wise King Otto had had them all put to death, along with the trade union leaders, many years before. And all the happy folk of Happy Valley sang and danced all day long, and anyone who was for any reason miserable or unhappy or who had any difficult personal problem was prosecuted under the Happiness Act.
Happy Valley
To summarise the summary of the summary: people are a problem. ~ h2g2
I used to work with a guy who was the biggest a-hole until about 2 or three hours after he was in. Problem was he didn't start until 11:00am, so by the time he got to work everyone else was bright and chipper. It got so bad that I even a wrote a song to cheer him up (well, make fun of him really): Good Morning Ali
Sound waves should be free!
I can't come into work today. I'm not happy enough. I might not be able to come in for the rest of the week.
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Are you Happy Citzen? Remember, happiness is mandatory. Being unhappy is insuboridination. Friend Computer suggests taking HappyTymNow pills -- guarenteed to improve happiness! Unhappiness is a tool of the commie mutant traitors! Be on your guard! Report those who are unhappy, as they could be communists!
Thank you for your cooperation, Citizen.
Player: Doesn't the computer want me to be happy?
GM: No. The computer *demands* that you be happy.
If you had super powers, would you use them for good, or for awesome?
The floggings will continue until morale improves.
Yes but that's really just a guidline. We're all sure the managers will be pointing out how happy harry has 50 pieces of flair and you must measure up.
-------- -------- Support Wesley Clark for president!!!