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Best Way to Manage Geeks?
drummerboy195 writes to tell us that he recently read a 1999 interview with Eric Schmidt, then CEO of Novell, and wondered how applicable the information was today. How much have things changed since the dot com bust in terms of management? What other good and bad techniques have Slashdotters seen evolve from both supervisory and supervised positions?
The best way to manage geeks is with fences and cattle prods!
Put a woman in front of them: out of frustration of not having a single idea what to do, they'll revert back to their work.
For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
In general, Schmidt speaks of his geeks in complimentary terms, while acknowledging their vulnerabilities and shortcomings.
Anyway, I'd have said Doritos, Lightsaber fights and Anime...
1. Fire American geeks.
2. Hire Indian geeks.
3. ???
4. Profit!
what a silly question is that???
(wait a minute...)
They are already being managed on Slashdot. Mod them up, mod them down, call them trolls.
Stop your geeks from whining in the workplace.
I know it's hard, either the CEO is part of the solution or he's the problem. There are several tricks you can use to better manage your CEO:
1. Learn his language. If you can explain your goals in words he is familiar with he will self organise himself to better deliver the support you need. To achieve this, engage him in dialog and take notes on the words he uses. Don't "leverage joint synergies" if he "maximizes differentials" for example. "Maximize those differerntials" right along with him!
2. The best judges of CEO's are secretaries. Talk to his secretary, does he prioritize "eating lunch undisturbed" over say, "saving drowing New Orlean's people"? If he does, drown a few New Orleans people aswell, to break the ice.
3. Look for the natural leader of your CEO. Does he always downsize right after IBM downsizes? Does he diversify when Kodak diversifies? Then IBM is his leader or Kodak is his leader. It's important to determine leadership so you can be forwarned about upcoming wild management swings.
4. Be prepared when the CEO hits the fan. He won't be there forever, keep links with Bob the CFO and Carly the insane Amazon in marketing, you never know when they will become the CEO.
5. Too much management spoils the broth. CEO's don't talk to the customer, they don't talk to the technical people or even read the spec, or have any idea what the product is. So don't let them get too involved with the decisions. Think of them as the team mascot.
Duh.
Oh, and then the oral sex.
Geeks are in fact a very efficient workforce. If you define the problem well, they will find you a neat solution quickly... so they can go back to /.
Name one other job where it's ok to be a whiny, needy little bitch.
President of the USA?
"I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
From all his talk about "it's hard work" (combined of course, with his utter incompetance), well... You deserve a +6 mod.
Your list is too long. 1) Breasts Thank you.
Lots and lots of chickens, and a good dental plan. (Chicken necks are notoriously resilient.)
Oh, and clean up the pile of spat out heads occasionally.
"There are no facts, only interpretations." --Friedrich Nietzsche.
Name one other job where it's ok to be a whiny, needy little bitch.
I got five for you:
1) Politician
2) Actress/Actor
3) Musician
4) CEO
5) Message Board Troll
Actually managing geeks is more like herding cockroaches. Often found in dark rooms, eating food, and up to stuff. You know when you've seen one, there's another one around somewhere. Then when the lights turn on they run and hide.
Geek
Function: noun
Etymology: probably from English dialect geek, geck fool, from Low German geck, from Middle Low German
1 : a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake
Watch this Heartland Institute video
Fortunately, the 22nd Amendment prevented him from running again in 2000.
But his whiny, needy little bitch of a wife might do so in 2008.