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Copy Machines At Greater Risk During Holidays

Ant writes "CNET News.com reports that photocopier supplier Canon is warning customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period. It claims that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25 percent hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank. Such a stunt, a mainstay of the office party, often results in cracked glass on the copier, with 32 percent of Canon technicians claiming to have been called out to fix glass plates during the Christmas period after attempts to copy body parts went wrong..."

20 of 177 comments (clear)

  1. I don't believe it..... by 3seas · · Score: 3, Funny

    Show me!!!

    1. Re:I don't believe it..... by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was thinking the same thing (hoping for hot interns), then got worried upon seeing the link for the "Put this story in perspective with this unique visual tool (full screen). Learn more" thingie and wondered how many fat arses would be seen :(

      Thankfully it was just an interactive article map.

      --
      liqbase :: faster than paper
  2. Xeroxing you ass is nothing.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ..compared to faxing your penis

  3. who wants a copy of some dude's hairy ass? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's why I only photocopy women's breasts. That keeps most of the weight safely off the copier.

    This year's Christmas party is gonna ROCK!

  4. Simple Solution by B1ackDragon · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's why I saved the first copy I made of my ass: now I just photocopy that.

    --
    The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches. -- ee cummings
    1. Re:Simple Solution by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      That's why I saved the first copy I made of my ass: now I just photocopy that.

      Your lucky to have access to so many A1 copiers :) I mean it must have been real difficult getting the baying beast into the first one !

    2. Re:Simple Solution by GoatPigSheep · · Score: 3, Funny

      or why not just take a pic with a digital camara! Come on it's not the 80's here people, there are better ways to get your ass out there

      --
      GoatPigSheep, the 3 most important food groups
  5. Ouch! by David+Horn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just the words "paper jam" bring me out in a cold sweat...

    --
    PocketGamer.org - For the gamer on the go!
  6. Why geeks don't reproduce by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
    after attempts to copy body parts went wrong..

    The idea of having sex either doesn't come to mind, or the prospect is so daunting, geeks resort to other means to attempt reproducing.

  7. Re:Question by Rinikusu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Because this is the one time of the year where the average /.er might actually have the opportunity to see a girl-they-work-with's ass, albeit in B&W on a crumpled sheet of paper in the trashcan? I'd say that's some "shit that matters". Or maybe that'll be the smear across the glass on the copier, so it helps to have a "heads up" before you go thinking it's chocolate and try to lick it off.

    Season's greetings and shit.

    --
    If you were me, you'd be good lookin'. - six string samurai
  8. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  9. Re:copying body parts by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 3, Funny

    PC LOAD LETTER

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    liqbase :: faster than paper
  10. Inclined copy machines by 4D6963 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Make 45 inclinded copy machines, so we don't really sit on it, just lean with our asses on it. It would make the force excerced on the glass divided by something like 5 or 10 i guess.

    --
    You just got troll'd!
    1. Re:Inclined copy machines by TheTopher · · Score: 5, Funny

      Actually, it'd reduce the force by a lot less. Assuming a 100 kg (220 pound) person is sitting on a horizontal piece of glass, the force would be 980 Newtons (100kg times the force of gravity). Slanting the copier 45 degrees would reduce the force against the glass to 980/sqrt(2) or about 692.96 Newtons. That's a reduction factor of 1.414. Also, don't forget that slanting the glass would result a sliding force parallel to the surface of the glass of 692.96 Newtons, which I'm guessing is more than the static friction coefficient of ass cheek on glass. Anyone know the exact value?

    2. Re:Inclined copy machines by Zone-MR · · Score: 3, Funny

      which I'm guessing is more than the static friction coefficient of ass cheek on glass. Anyone know the exact value?

      Not off the top of my head, but it should be easy to find in any decent engineer's handbook.

  11. Okay ... by spellraiser · · Score: 3, Funny

    Are these photocopies being taken for gift purposes? Because I've heard of some cheap-ass gifts, but actual cheap ass-gifts? That's the lowest of the low.

    --
    I hear there's rumors on the Slashdots
  12. Becareful with regular copiers this holiday season by Viper+Daimao · · Score: 5, Funny

    they can break. Thats why I use the Xerox Assjet 790. The only copier made especially for your ass. Remember, when copying your ass this holiday season, choose quality, choose the Xerox Assjet 790.

    --
    "In the game of life, someone always has to lose. To me, if life were fair, that someone would always be Oklahoma." -DKR
  13. Anyone done this in real life? by McCarrum · · Score: 4, Funny

    PEN IS
    STUCK
    IN PRINTER

    I loved the image so much, I put a sign that said the above on the printer in our helpdesk. Never seen so much coffee spirted out of peoples mouths in ages ...

  14. Re:Checklist... by Headcase88 · · Score: 3, Funny

    It... matters.

    Now maybe you'll think before sitting oon the photocopier and having to call in some poor technician who wants to enjoy Christmas with his family...

    But thanks to our good friend alchohol, it'll probably go more like "I probably shouldn't... oh, fuck the technician, this is too awesome to pass up!"

    --
    "When the atomic bomb goes off there's devastation...but when the atomic bong goes off there's celebraaaaation!"
  15. For the love of God, think of the children!!! by ZZane · · Score: 4, Funny

    They're lighter and won't break the glass.

    --
    This sig is worse than my last.