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An Interview with Jeffrey Kalles
Jonathan writes "Former associate producer for Nintendo of America Jeffrey Kalles granted an interview with n37radio. The interview covers a wide range of topics from his time spent at Nintendo to the upcoming Nintendo Revolution release. The interview is available in both text and audio format for those who are interested."
Ultimate Nintendo fanboy.
Mr Kalles: How do you sleep at night?
As you read this letter, you may feel confused at points. If you do, keep reading. The rationale underlying Mr. Jeffrey Kalles's morals is confusing. Fortunately, as you read the superfluity of examples about how Jeffrey has been trying to produce a large number of entirely wild extravagancies, most logorrheic indecencies, and, above all, the most dysfunctional blasphemies against everything that I hold most sacred and most dear, this letter will slowly begin to make some sense. Some background is in order: I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness he is mongering. We need to deal summarily with dishonest fault-finders.
I challenge all of the anti-democratic pickpockets out there to consider this: Jeffrey's like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of obscurantism and you'll see a flighty insurrectionist hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of collectivism in a disgraceful, pernicious attempt to create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that Jeffrey argues that the media should "create" news rather than report it. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: He recently claimed that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before. Unless Jeffrey provides unequivocal evidence to the contrary, I will continue to suspect that I am morally and ethically opposed to his sophistries. As long as I live, I will be shouting this truth from rooftops and doing everything I can to raise several issues about his stolid roorbacks that are frequently missing from the drivel that masquerades for discourse on this topic. In order to convince us that his propositions are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals, Jeffrey often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. Once you understand his stratagems, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Jeffrey burn our fair cities to the ground.
We must recognize and respect the opinions, practices, and behavior of others. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to discuss the advantages of two-parent families, the essential role of individual and family responsibility, the need for uniform standards of civil behavior, and the primacy of the work ethic. You must be the one to disabuse Jeffrey of the notion that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. And you must inform your fellow man that by Jeffrey's standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a slimy slubberdegullion. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from his. For instance, I aver that it's easy for armchair philosophers to theorize about Jeffrey and about hypothetical solutions to our Jeffrey problem. It's an entirely more difficult matter, however, when one considers that he has been trying for some time to convince people that he can achieve his goals by friendly and moral conduct. Don't believe his hype! Jeffrey has just been offering that line as a means to resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution. Jeffrey's vituperations may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into inane, self-serving imperialism. I definitely insist that we should speak up and speak out against Jeffrey, and I have formalized my commitment to this high ideal by ensuring that I always bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. If you were to try to tell his bedfellows that I need to spend some