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Top 10 System Administrator Truths

Vo0k writes "What are your top ten system administrator truths? We all know them already, but it's still fun re-telling them. Stuff like "90% of all hardware-related problems come from loose connectors", even though you already know it's true, may save you from replacing the "faulty" motherboard if you recall it at the right time."

13 of 561 comments (clear)

  1. All I got to say is... by mike77 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    PEBKAC

    --

    --Keeping the flame wars alive, one post at a time

  2. Power cables don't really "go" bad. by hackwrench · · Score: 5, Insightful

    from bending them around and whatnot, they develop breaks that can get pushed back together. This is what causes the problem to be intermittent. The cable 'is' bad, not going bad. People need to be more careful in wrapping their cords up. There should be a little bit of slack in the loops or else the slightest bit of pressure will cause them to develop a break.

  3. We have the three rules. by LWATCDR · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Rule 1. They lie. End users often tell you what they think you want to hear. When asking a question you should use terms like. What does it say? vs Does it say this?
    Rule 2. They don't know they are lying.
    Rule 3. Sometimes they are telling the truth. Yes sometimes what you think is impossible really is happening or looks like it is happening.

    --
    See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
  4. My 2p by benbean · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Never put the screws back in the case until you've tested your new hardware is working.

    --
    It's a Unix system - I know this.
  5. Re:95% of all problems.... by mrn121 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I know this was said as a joke, but I see this a lot amongst the geek community, the attitude that users just don't know what they are doing, and that is why they can't make anything work.

    Doing some GUI consultant work and writing a few users manuals for some pretty complex software has taught me one thing: Most user error is the fault of crappy software. A good setup (hardware or software) should be easy to use given the users.

    Now, obviously it is all about knowing the audience. If you are writing an application for use by other software engineers versus people living in an assisted living home, well, that makes a difference, and you certainly can't cater to all people (for example the guy who writes code for a living but can't setup his own email at home).

    The bottom line is, as much as it displeases us, not everyone is a geek. Not everyone cares about the latest firmware for their router, the latest patch for Call of Duty 2, or how to make a projection TV from an old overhead projector and a laptop from eBay. Our job, as geeks, is not to show everyone why they SHOULD care, but rather to make it easy for those who don't care to still do what they need to do.

    Just a few minutes ago I got an email forwarded to me from a "stupid" user who couldn't figure out how to perform what to me seems like a simple task in some software my team wrote. We emailed him the directions, even though they were very clearly stated in the manual that I wrote, but I took it one step further. I submitted a feature request in our bug-tracking database to put a message near where what he was trying to do to explain why that option is grayed out.

    Anyone can write software or setup hardware that has tons of geek features that we all like, but it takes a lot more effort to make the setup actually usable to the target users.

  6. Treat users with respect by fantomas · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Treat users with respect even if they are clearly in the wrong. Don't patronise somebody if they haven't got the first idea about computers: educate, don't insult. I'm not a buddhist but the old karma idea of "what goes around, comes around" seems to play out in the long term. Being patient with somebody who's royally screwed up their computer pays off in six months time when you need them to put your expenses claim through accounts at 5pm on a Friday evening/ notice you standing in the rain by your broken down car/..../

  7. You don't know everything by cprincipe · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Even if you've been doing this for 20 years. If you are working with another technician, have the grace to treat them like an intelligent human being.

    --

    bun-fhuinneog agam!

  8. Just to PO the "Don't post your list here" folks.. by mnemotronic · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Ok, so it's more than 10.

    1. 90% of Windows problems can be solved with a different OS, oops, I mean a reboot.
    2. 5% of the users really know their stuff, and could do your job better than you, but choose not to, because the pay sucks.
    3. Most users, including engineering types who are very intelligent in their own field, know a specific sequence to run the program or programs they normally use. They don't know how to set environment variables, fire up (much less use) a DOS command line, or organize their data in a hierarchical fashion. And, they sure has h*ll don't know how to edit the registry. Don't expect 'em to.
    4. If you don't provide and enforce a directory structure and naming convention on shared/networked drives, users will place every single file and directory at the root.
    5. "MSTSC /console". Don't leave home without it. 50% of the time you can stay home & work in your undies because of it.
    6. Backup servers every night. This'll save your *ss more than once.
    7. When someone is requesting new services or features, learn to ask "What do you really want?". Ask this question a lot. Keep repeating until the requestor finally discovers what he or she reallywants. It won't be obvious to them.
    8. WiFi in the local coffee shop is kewl. That plus VPN is even kewler. But WiFi in the office makes be very nervous.
    9. You never have time to read the magazines you've subscribed to.
    10. The office coffee sucks. Buy a french press & your own coffee. I recommend Ethiopean Yirga Cheff.
    11. You can never have too many bookshelves.
    12. Users will end up going to p0rn web sites. 95% of this is unintentional. The rest you ignore until the user starts whacking off in the office, then you threaten to report them to "human resources" (i.e. the Dept of Political Correctness).
    --
    The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
  9. GeekSquad Top Ten? by dada21 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I have a friend living the GeekSquad life. I'd never hire him as he believes in their process to fix lockups:

    1. It must be this unsupported software: remove Firefox or any F/OSS.

    2. It is a virus, your AV is no good, purchase Norton CoverYourAss v9.6 for $49.95.

    3. The AV doesn't perform a deep clean by itself, we can run one for $24.95.

    4. You need a bigger hard drive, w recommend Norton Ghost to copy it. $199.95 + $49.95.

    5. We should install the drive. $24.95 + $8.95 wrist strap.

    6. We should run ghost for you, $19.95.

    7. You need USB 2.0 ports for your mouse to run faster, $49.95 plus $24.95 installation.

    8. Your hard drive cables are old belt style, you needbthe snappy round cables, $29.95 plus $9.95 installation.

    9. Your video board is old, the ATI MegaWow XL is only $199.95.

    10. You should probably buy one of our Compaq BusinessPro by HP combinations, you burned your TCP/IP converter with static.

    I pop open the discarded PC, replace the processor fan and blow out the case. All is fine - $30.

  10. Re:95% of all problems.... by seramar · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I did not say this as a joke, I was surprised it got modded so high. I work at a small service and repair shop, and you'd be surprised how many computers come back within a week or two after leaving the shop because the client did not listen to my suggestions and recommendations. I always tell them, we'd be happier to fix an issue that is caused because you followed our instructions than fixing one because you didn't. Still, they go on, installing file sharing software I did not recommend, ignoring their windows updates, and clicking "yes" or "no" on those bogus system-error messages, as opposed to the red x. And beyond that, we extend the invitation to any client to call us, free of charge, if they're not sure what to do. We're not bastards in here like people at a lot of computer shops, and we're willing to help, for free, if it's not time consuming and we can do it over the phone... but they hardly ever call while they're unsure, but only after they've broken something. I understand that they're not as savvy as us geeks, however, there are a few simple steps that they should follow based on our recommendations. The mechanic tells me to get my oil changed every 2,000 to 3,000 miles, so I listen. The guy at the salt water aquarium store tells me putting an anemonae in a tank is a bad idea, because when it dies (which it will in your little tank) it's going to kill all of your fish, unless you're really lucky... so I avoid the anemonaes. I'm not an expert, so I listen to those who are more knowledgable. Anyway I've talked too much.

    --
    australian project gutenberg is better than the original.
  11. The Truths of Skippy by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 5, Insightful
    1. Fast, Cheap, Right. Pick 2
    2. One must honor the Random Number God with a token offering every morning
    3. Never underestimate the power of imagination, stupidity, or bad luck.
    4. Network equipment's attention span is about as long as it's power cord
    5. Scripting works about as well as the broom from the Sorceror's apprentice: don't let it run unattended.
    6. Your network can be down more often than it's up. If you keep your users in the loop, they will be happy.
    7. Your network can run without fail for months on end, but if a problem happens and they don't hear from you first, you are incompetant.
    8. A User fills out your performance review.
    9. A database is a high performance cache between your backup medium and your application.
    10. Any device that is sufficiently ignored will fail to gain your attention.
    --
    "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
    --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  12. Re:95% of all problems.... by bhadreshl · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The OSI model works in almost all aspects of computing and not just strictly networking.
    Application > Presentation > Session > Transport > Network > Data Link > Physical. This order is actually from layer 7 to 1.
    If you had followed the OSI model, you would've found out that the *first* thing to do would be to check the physical connection (aka power cord) and found your problem right away.

  13. 95% of bad GUI design.. by C10H14N2 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ...is the result of trying to implement 100% of user requests. Sometimes, telling the user "no, you simply can't have that" is the best way to ensure an application isn't horribly poisoned by thousands of totally irrational, non-intuitive crap "features" each piece of which makes sense only to the person who requested it. Worse, such design-by-committee applications are invariably written interface-first, back-end last with no regard to how to actually make the goddamned thing WORK, much less work efficiently.

    I agree, good software should be intuitive, but far better to be proactively engineered to be more intuitive, rather than reactively veneered to feel less unintuitive.