Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Superman 'Too Big' for the Big Screen

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the i-always-thought-hal-would-be-the-hung-one dept.

Evilelf writes "The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache - because of the size of his bulge. They fear Brandon Routh's profile in the superhero's skintight costume could be distracting, reports the Sun. Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover it up with digital effects."

9 of 427 comments (clear)

  1. Lies! by xmuskrat · · Score: 5, Informative

    This is totally untrue. The actually designed the suit with that in mind, and added padding to deal with it.

    --
    activestudios web design
    1. Re:Lies! by Agent00Wang · · Score: 5, Informative

      Apparently just an rumor.

      http://www.darkhorizons.com/news05/051213f.php

      --
      NINJA SPIRIT - The Ancient Art of Insanity
    2. Re:Lies! by sgant · · Score: 5, Informative

      Yes, this is totally untrue and no they didn't spend a bunch of money to digitally take it out.

      Sheesh EvilElf....nice how you actually go about researching a story. Heck, one google search on this would show you that this is totally made up.

      And also kudos to CmdrTaco for posting this....you submit anything now?

      --

      "Leo Fender was in a 'state of grace' when he designed the Stratocaster." -- Paul Reed Smith
  2. False. Debunked. On Tuesday. by loggia · · Score: 5, Informative

    link

    1. Re:False. Debunked. On Tuesday. by Fnkmaster · · Score: 5, Informative

      Just look for yourself. I'm sure he's well endowed, but there's nothing distractingly large about that bulge - you know, nothing John Holmes-style. Superman is still supposed to have the normal masculine anatomy, as far as I know, so having no bulge would be much weirder.

  3. Obligatory Niven Link by __aagctu1952 · · Score: 5, Informative

    Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

  4. You be the judge by DrLudicrous · · Score: 4, Informative

    Here is a link to a pic.

  5. Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex by Savantissimo · · Score: 5, Informative
    That could cause some problems.

    From: "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex", by Larry Niven:

    Consider the driving urge between a man and a woman, the monomaniacal urge to achieve greater and greater penetration. Remember also that we are dealing with kryptonian muscles.

    Superman would literally crush LL's body in his arms, while simultaneously ripping her open from crotch to sternum, gutting her like a trout.

    *

    Lastly, he'd blow off the top of her head.

    Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian. But with kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El's semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (*One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?*) ...
    --
    "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?" - Patrick Henry
  6. Maybe you don't notice penisses? by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 4, Informative
    You say breasts stand out more. Well yeah. To guys. I in general do not look at men's crotches. Nothing there that intrests me.

    Women on the other hand do look down there. Even if they deny it, it has been shown to be true during research where the movement of the eye was followed and they definitly do a quick check down there when they meet a man.

    Oh and as for the whole size matters. This is what one woman told me. When she masturbates she frequently doesn't even penetrate and when she does she uses at most 2 fingers.

    Now if your penis is no bigger then a woman's finger THEN you got a problem. For the rest, it is skill and the most important piece of knowledge? If you penis might be a bit small, you still got 10 fingers and a tongue. Some women even seem to like this whole foreplay thing.

    Check if you can the most popular masturbation aids for women. A very good seller is always the egg/butterfly devices wich do not even do penetration. They just are smooth rounded objects that vibrate and are used on the outside. The huge 15inch black rubber slongs? Not for solo use. Women on their own seem to prefer simple small designs, the outlandish stuff is usually bought by males (possibly for their girls).

    Think of it like this, if women enjoyed being stretched to the max they would look forward to their pap smear exam.

    How do I know this? Well I worked in a side branch of the porn industry, maintaining those pay porn sites you all know and love. I also dealt with a local guy who owns several establishements in the amsterdam red light district. He makes a lot of money NOT from grubby old men but from females (often tourists) who come to buy a little helper.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.