Superman 'Too Big' for the Big Screen

Evilelf writes "The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache - because of the size of his bulge. They fear Brandon Routh's profile in the superhero's skintight costume could be distracting, reports the Sun. Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover it up with digital effects."

Comments

Lies!

[xmuskrat]

This is totally untrue. The actually designed the suit with that in mind, and added padding to deal with it.

Re:Lies!

[Agent00Wang]

Apparently just an rumor.

http://www.darkhorizons.com/news05/051213f.php

Re:Lies!

[sgant]

Yes, this is totally untrue and no they didn't spend a bunch of money to digitally take it out.

Sheesh EvilElf....nice how you actually go about researching a story. Heck, one google search on this would show you that this is totally made up.

And also kudos to CmdrTaco for posting this....you submit anything now?

Re:Lies!

[Simon Garlick]

Today when people ask me if subscribing to Slashdot is worth it, I will direct them to this story.

Re:Lies!

[nwbvt]

You've got to admit it though, that was a great move by Brandon Routh in starting this rumor.

obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

I for one, welcome our well endowed, super hero overlord

Re:obligatory

[pHatidic]

Thank god for someone around here with a tolerant attitude. I'm sick of the fact that Slashdot continuously discriminates against those of us with monstrously large packages. First it was Colin Farrel in Alexander, now this.

Re:obligatory

[Telecommando]

Perhaps it's time for a more realistic superhero:

http://www.ibiblio.org/Dave/Dr-Fun/df200311/df2003 1114.jpg

Re:obligatory

[Acts of Attrition]

Gee, wonder where this rumor originated from...

BRANDON ROUTH: Playing Superman isn't getting me enough action, we need something more...
AGENT: Let's start a rumor that your penis is huge.
ROUTH: Works for me!

Umm...

[bhtooefr]

First, who really cares?

Second, this is old news. I heard this on the radio a week or two ago.

Third, as someone else said, you wanna bet tons of chicks are going to see the movie just to get a look at this guy's wang?

Re:Umm...

[Anonymous Coward]

why would girls care about his dick if he ends up coming faster than a speeding bullet anyway?

Re:Umm...

[Dephex Twin]

The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. But that would kill him.

Diet?

[Mike Peel]

They could have just got him to lose a bit of weight before they did the filming...

Oh, wait, that bulge.

False. Debunked. On Tuesday.

[loggia]

link

Re:False. Debunked. On Tuesday.

[Fnkmaster]

Just look for yourself. I'm sure he's well endowed, but there's nothing distractingly large about that bulge - you know, nothing John Holmes-style. Superman is still supposed to have the normal masculine anatomy, as far as I know, so having no bulge would be much weirder.

Re:False. Debunked. On Tuesday.

[Tim C]

Slashdot. News for nerds. Stuff that's provably false.

Re:False. Debunked. On Tuesday.

[rijrunner]

eh? You just *think* that that is his right leg...

Re:False. Debunked. On Tuesday.

[Maniacal]

I can't believe I just knowingly followed a link with the intent of looking at a mans bulge. WTF is wrong with me?

But on the other hand...

[gentlewizard]

...he's faster than a speeding bullet. Everybody has issues. :-)

Re:But on the other hand...

[Lisandro]

T.S. Quint: But they're engaged.
Brodie: Doesn't matter, can't happen.
T.S. Quint: Why not? It's bound to come up.
Brodie: It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child?
T.S. Quint: Sure, why not?
Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him!

Funny How

[Spytap]

Funny How a rumor becomes fact just through repeating it everywhere...

Re:Funny How

[Audacious]

It's called a Self Fullfilling Phrophecy. If you get enough people to believe what you are saying - then it becomes reality for everyone and everyone believes it. Like everyone saying that IBM PCs are better than Macintoshes. Pretty soon (if your advertising budget is large enough) you have everyone using IBM PCs and thinking Macs are crap whether or not it really is true.

There are a lot of cases where this happenes. The war in Iraq for example. "We have to attack Iraq because they have Weapons of Mass Destruction!" Never found any, costing us Billions each year - but the government got what it wanted - a war. Sadly, it has cost us quite a bit (both in money as well as in people [both us and them mind you]) and is going to continue to cost us a lot for years to come.

Back to the packaged deal. Two things:

1. My wife's brother and his bride to be were given a party to celebrate their pending union. I had know him for a few years. He was a jogger who was skinny as a rail. Well, before the party he had gone jogging and when he came back he was soaked (due to the humidity though and not because he had been jogging). I never realized just how endowed he was until then. It became the talk of the party in whispers since he didn't go directly and change clothes. Finally his dad and myself went over and whispered to him that he might want to change his clothes. When he asked why we were polite but firm in telling him about the situation. He quickly retreated inside and came out in clothes that didn't show anything off. Much to the relief of the ladies who were present. (And his bride to be that was very embarrassed on his part.)

2. Movie studios try whatever they can to raise awareness of their movies and to get people to go to them. Movies that they think will strike it big with audiences they just hype the movie itself. But movies that they think they are not going to make much money on at all they usually try to get things rolling by bringing up some controversial item. (As in the actor's package.) The more hype that surrounds a movie - the worse the movie usually is. The more they stick to just showing you small parts of the film - the better the movie usually is. This is not always true though. It is just a general rule of thumb because as with everything - there are always exceptions to the rule.

Re:Funny How

[mattwarden]

By the way, we went to Iraq to liberate its citizens, piracy hurts the artists and stagehands more than the movie execs, those who need privacy have something to hide, rise in global temperature since the Industrial Revolution is just coincidence, and I'm really really good in bed.

Slashdot

[ucblockhead]

Falling for viral marketting.

Brandon Routh must be loving this

[blaberski]

Even if the movie tanks, he will be remembered as the man that was so well endowed that they had to shink him digitally.

MPIAA request

[Markintosh]

It was an MPIAA request, cuz they didn't want any competition in the "being a big dick" department.

Alas...

[kikta]

The Sun's source said: "It's a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well-endowed and they don't want it up on the big screen.

I know his pain -- I also suffer from this disorder.

(Can't parents just explain it away by saying that Superman is All Kinds of Super?)

I, for one

[Leffe]

I, for one, will be waiting for the bulging uncensored version!

Obligatory Niven Link

[__aagctu1952]

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

Re:I'd just

[tuxette]

Is that kryptonite in your pocket or...uh...never mind...

You be the judge

[DrLudicrous]

Here is a link to a pic.

Pixellation.

[JustNiz]

For the entire movie they should cover his crotch with pixellation effects as used in "the Sims" game when the CG characters take a shower or use the toilet.

It would serve to please the radically prudish, entertain anyone otherwise bored with the movie, and also demonstrate how blatantly ridiculous the US sense of morality has become.

No big deal

[AndroidCat]

For Spiderman they had to edit out two towers.

WORST-JOB-EVER

[ncin_az]

Am I the only one who feels really sorry for the guy spending the whole editing process digitally reducing supermans bulge? Not something I'd want on my resume... Ncin

penis envy

[tuxette]

Apparently, the whiners are feeling more inadequate than usual...

with digital effect

[S3D]

If it would be surgical that would be a real news.

Re:Sad..

[JohnnyLocust]

It is sad. I seem to recall Batman and Robin having nipples. Now that was distracting.

Lucky Bastard

[Necrotica]

FTFA:

The Sun's source said: "It's a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well-endowed and they don't want it up on the big screen.

I would KILL for advertising like that!

Headline from next week's people: "Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, and J-Lo break up with boyfriends and husbands to view for the love of the new Superman"

This is insulting.

[torokun]

Am I the only one slightly pissed off by this?

Women prance around almost naked in both TV and movies all the time. Nipples and boobs stand out way more than any guy's package.

But we can't see even an indirect indication of male genitals? What's the problem? Afraid it's going to come get you? Afraid of the revelation that men actually have penises?

I am not a big supporter of the sexualization of our media - I think it's a race to the bottom, in terms of the quality of content. But neither am I a supporter of some kind of willful blindness or disgust at the natural figure of men.

Here's the fundamental problem: Why is the male figure labeled as obscene, while the female figure is exalted?

Maybe it's all just because men always want to see female sexuality, but women are squeamish about seeing male sexuality.

But when it comes to art, or even a simple bulge, do we really have to pretend that penises don't exist just to make the public 'feel ok'? What is this thing between my legs then, which must be perpetually denied and hidden from view? Some kind of leprous growth?

Do we really want our sons to think their natural bulge is something to be ashamed of???

I say that it's demeaning and insulting to men to censor a natural bulge covered by clothing (even moderately tight clothing).

Re:This is insulting.

[OzPeter]

For some reason there is a huge aversion to male nudity in a lot of countries. I won't single out the US for this because I have seen it elsewhere. The Greeks and Romans didn't seem to have this problem, yet if you go to the main train station in DC (Can't remember the name) they have a gallery of roman/greek style statues around the main lobby. A sign thoughfully points out that shields were added to the statues in the 20th century in order to hide the male genetalia.

In a similar vein, I was in a photography class where we were shooting nudes. One time we had a male model, and I was laughing at my class mates who had spent all this time happily shooting women, but the site of one nude guy got them all confused, and they were all trying to arrange the angle so hi groin wouldn't be in the shot. Yet to me one of the best shots was a full frontal of the guy.

I have been thinking (now and in the past) that this is all part of the indoctrination that male nudity equates with homosexuallity, and that homesexuality equates with paedophilia, hence male nudity is bad. Which is a ridiculous and totally line of reasoning. But the media has got us all conditioned as to how we should react.

This is especially seen in the comparison that woman are allowed to appreciate how other women look, but if guys appreciate how guys look .. well they're gay. (Let alone that lesbianism is more socially acceptable that homosexuality)

I could rant on about this for a while, but basically I agree with you. Men appear to be dominant in a lot of areas, but everywhere else they are supressed/repressed as much or even more than women. (Check out funding differences between breast cancer and prostrate cancer) But in the areas that men are repressed, society has told us not to look in that direction, so the repression is deemed acceptable.

Re:This is insulting.

[dkleinsc]

Here's the fundamental problem: Why is the male figure labeled as obscene, while the female figure is exalted?

Straight men are the ones making the decision about what's obscene, so if straight men have been indoctrinated into believing that "seeing a penis" = "gay", they'll avoid seeing a penis to prove their straightness. In societies where homosexuality wasn't a problem, notably ancient Greece, there are as many if not more male nudes than female nudes.

Re:This is insulting.

[hackstraw]

Am I the only one slightly pissed off by this?

Women prance around almost naked in both TV and movies all the time. Nipples and boobs stand out way more than any guy's package.

But we can't see even an indirect indication of male genitals? What's the problem?

There are 2 things here.

1) Men and women are not particularly interested interested in looking at a soft dick. Men get excited to some degree seeing a woman naked or in a revealing outfit. I guess its because there is not too much difference between a woman physically between before after/during sex. Nothing as noticeable or physically significant as the difference between a hard and soft penis. Many women paint themselves to look more like they are having sex by adding blush to their cheeks and red lipstick to their lips.

2) Men are basically in charge of most everything, including movie production, and the quiet smart guy that is paying for or putting together a movie does not want any additional competition for sex by somebody that is already in the limelight. Also, many men for some reason are scared that another man is going to fuck them when they are not looking. This is something I simply do not understand, but homophobia is a pretty common psychological problem for men. Its at least common enough that my spell checker didn't question it.

Re:This is insulting.

[symbolic]

that male nudity equates with homosexuallity, and that homesexuality

I think you could have stopped right there and been spot on, since pedophilia is a characteristic that is equally present in both camps.

I remember watching a PBS documentary called "The Boy Code" (I hope that's right), which discussed the manner which boys are indoctrinated early on not only to reject, but outright destroy (literally or figuratively, depending on the circumstances) anything that threatens the notion of what is masculine. Boys are expected to give up any semblance of emotion, love sports (or anything rough and violent), etc., etc. For those that have a hard time fitting into this mold, they are ridiculed, teased, bullied, etc.

The irony is that we reap what we sow...we create these people as a society, and then wonder why men are so uh, "challenged" in some ways. It's all quite pathetic, in my opinion, because it doesn't *have* to be this way.

Re:This is insulting.

[just_because_it's_ir]

The Greeks and Romans were notoriously homosexual, so their being exceptions over male nudity is interesting in this context.

The Greeks, yes, the Romans, no. Roman sexuality was a bit on the odd side, really.

In any case, Greek and Roman sculptors regularly, and deliberately, created statues with small pensises. The logic, iirc, was that a large penis was evidence of being dominated by your sexual drives. This was a bad thing for a number of reasons, and to the Romans this was evidence of femininity, because women are ruled by their emotions, and men by their logic, so an overactive sex drive made you more of a woman then a man - told you they were odd! by our standards at least. Only satyrs etc. tend to get big willies in ancient sculpture.

Oddly enough, and trying not to invoke Godwin, a similar attidute pervaded Nazi attitudes, although their logic was different. Like a lot of Nazi logic it has a grotesque evil beauty to it: white men are superior to black men; black men have big dicks; therefore it must be better to be undersized in the trouser snake department!

I've always loved the idea of SS men in the shower thinking "look at him, he's tiny! Lucky bastard!".

In fact, you get similar ideas throughout western history (can't speak for others, don't know)

No apologies for the length of the post, although I've never had complaints about length before...

Lowest Low

[Mr. Smoove]

"reports The Sun"

This is the lowest low for Slashdot. Treating a piece of nonsense that was proved as un-true five days ago and the source is arguably the worst of the British tabloids, The Sun. Does the Slashdot name and tagline mean anything anymore?

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

[Savantissimo]

That could cause some problems.

From: "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex", by Larry Niven:

Consider the driving urge between a man and a woman, the monomaniacal urge to achieve greater and greater penetration. Remember also that we are dealing with kryptonian muscles.

Superman would literally crush LL's body in his arms, while simultaneously ripping her open from crotch to sternum, gutting her like a trout.

*

Lastly, he'd blow off the top of her head.

Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian. But with kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El's semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (*One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?*) ...

Re:Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex

[Altima(BoB)]

"Superman would literally crush LL's body in his arms, while simultaneously ripping her open from crotch to sternum, gutting her like a trout.
Lastly, he'd blow off the top of her head."

Consider that one movie ticket bought because that is the hottest thing I've ever read.

Re:This is a watershed moment

[outsider007]

I love superman and I really want to see this movie but I'm afraid it might make me gay.

Maybe you don't notice penisses?

[SmallFurryCreature]

You say breasts stand out more. Well yeah. To guys. I in general do not look at men's crotches. Nothing there that intrests me.

Women on the other hand do look down there. Even if they deny it, it has been shown to be true during research where the movement of the eye was followed and they definitly do a quick check down there when they meet a man.

Oh and as for the whole size matters. This is what one woman told me. When she masturbates she frequently doesn't even penetrate and when she does she uses at most 2 fingers.

Now if your penis is no bigger then a woman's finger THEN you got a problem. For the rest, it is skill and the most important piece of knowledge? If you penis might be a bit small, you still got 10 fingers and a tongue. Some women even seem to like this whole foreplay thing.

Check if you can the most popular masturbation aids for women. A very good seller is always the egg/butterfly devices wich do not even do penetration. They just are smooth rounded objects that vibrate and are used on the outside. The huge 15inch black rubber slongs? Not for solo use. Women on their own seem to prefer simple small designs, the outlandish stuff is usually bought by males (possibly for their girls).

Think of it like this, if women enjoyed being stretched to the max they would look forward to their pap smear exam.

How do I know this? Well I worked in a side branch of the porn industry, maintaining those pay porn sites you all know and love. I also dealt with a local guy who owns several establishements in the amsterdam red light district. He makes a lot of money NOT from grubby old men but from females (often tourists) who come to buy a little helper.