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Jack Thompson Buys Stock in GTA Parent Company

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the non-stop-entertainment dept.

omega9 writes "You're not reading it wrong. From an artice posted as Joystiq, "Jack Thompson has purchased shares in Take-Two interactive - otherwise known as the publisher behind the Grand Theft Auto series of games. So has JT suddenly become a financial supporter of the company he's long campaigned against? Not a chance. JT has purchased stock in the company in order that he might attend Take-Two's shareholder meetings and face up to the company's CEO, Paul Eibeler.""

20 of 354 comments (clear)

  1. What a show. by TripMaster+Monkey · · Score: 5, Funny



    Heck, I'm now considering buying stock in Take-Two, just so I can witness what promises to be the most side-splitting board meetings ever held.

    In fact, I smell a new reality TV show...get cameras in there to record all the hilarious action.

    We can have viewer participation too, go to the website and enter in the poll....how long will Jack last before Paul gets fed up with his inane babbling and calls the police to have him ejected? How many times will the police have to hit him to subdue him before they drag him out? (We'll have a ringer cop in there, so there will always be at least one punch.)

    Imagine a few cops stiff-arming Jack Thompson's face into the drywall....now that's must-see TV! ^_^

    --
    ____

    ~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey

    1. Re:What a show. by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Funny

      Can I buy stock in your TV production company?

    2. Re:What a show. by Ced_Ex · · Score: 4, Funny

      Can I buy stock in your holding company?

      --
      Live forever, or die trying.
    3. Re:What a show. by ndansmith · · Score: 5, Funny
      Imagine a few cops stiff-arming Jack Thompson's face into the drywall . . .

      . . . and then Jack killing the cops, blowing up some fire trucks, trickin' out his ride, smacking the hoes, and stealing a tank to wreak havoc over some generic metropolitan city until he is incinerated by a squadron of army helicopters. Now that's must-see TV!

    4. Re:What a show. by C0rinthian · · Score: 5, Funny

      "All right Jack, that it!" :puts 3rd star up on board: "Now we're going to have to call security!"

    5. Re:What a show. by AKAImBatman · · Score: 4, Funny

      Board Member 1: "I motion that we evict Mr. Thompson from all future board meetings."

      Board Member 2: "Seconded!"

      President: "All those in favor of evicting Mr. Thompson from..."

      Interrupting all at once: "AYE!!!!"

      President: "Do I hear any Nays?"

      Thompson: "Um? Nay?"

      President: "The Ayes have it. From this date forward, Mr. Thompson will no longer be allowed to board meetings until such a time as a motion is made and carried to allow him to rejoin these meetings. Considering that the only way I can forsee that happening is if Mr. Thompson owns a controlling share, we can assume for the moment that his banishment is permanant."

      Thompson: "But..."

      President "Meeting Ajourned."

      --
      Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
    6. Re:What a show. by Surt · · Score: 4, Funny

      Can I buy stock in your cookie factory?

      --
      "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
    7. Re:What a show. by Lord_Dweomer · · Score: 5, Funny
      If I buy stock in your quantum puzzle game, will I be able to buy and sell my shares at the same time?

      --
      Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
    8. Re:What a show. by booch · · Score: 4, Funny

      Can I buy stock in your "Happy Fun Ball" company (Wacky Products Incorporated)?

      --
      Software sucks. Open Source sucks less.
    9. Re:What a show. by Repton · · Score: 5, Funny

      No --- it just means that you can never simultaneously know what the share price is and how many shares you have...

      --
      Repton.
      They say that only an experienced wizard can do the tengu shuffle.
    10. Re:What a show. by Zenmonkeycat · · Score: 3, Funny
      No, there's a good chance that he'll speak whenever he feels like it. I can just imagine the scene now...

      "Alright, so we've just gotten our--"
      "Murderers! You all murder cops and children!"
      "Okay, anyway--"
      "I'll kill all of you! I'll kill all of you and your families! You train killers to murder victims!"
       "As I was saying--"
      "I will kill all of you just to prove videogames cause violence!"
       "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you--"
      "CENTIPEDE TRAINED MY CHILD TO KILL THE POPE! PONG KILLED KITTENS! MURDER! AYAHHAHYAHHHH!"

      And that's when the security guards pull out the tranquilizer guns.

      --

      *****
      Dear Mary,
      I yearn for you tragically,
      A.T. Tappman, Chaplain, U.S. Army.

  2. sweet by iamdaflash · · Score: 5, Funny

    he could present some cool game ideas!

  3. Talk about an ugly realization by Brento · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'd hate to be the guy who realizes he sold his Take Two stock to Jack Thompson.

    --
    What's your damage, Heather?
  4. Re:Bad dog by dr_dank · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thompson wouldn't know up from down, left from right, A from B, B from A, Select from Start.

    Don't give an ass like him infinite lives!

    --
    Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
  5. Take2 should pay dividends.. by demonic-halo · · Score: 4, Funny

    That'll be funny if Take2 declared quarterly dividends.

    So each time Jack has a case against some other game company. They can say that Jack is being paid by Take2.

  6. Re:What a dick by breckinshire · · Score: 5, Funny

    In related news, Emperor Palpatine bought some shares of LucasArts, as they actually let you simulate attacking the Death Star.

  7. I have a new word for people like JT. by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 4, Funny

    The word is "litigiterrorists".

  8. Re:Does this guy have all day to stalk people? by Schemat1c · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought this guy was supposed to be a practicing attorney. Does he ever do any real work?

    Of course not, he's an attorney.

    --

    "Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better." - Unknown
  9. Attention Whore by TubeSteak · · Score: 3, Funny
    We need a picture (a la Fark) of Jack Thompson with the caption
    "I'm An Attention Whore! Look At Meeeeee!!!"
    --
    [Fuck Beta]
    o0t!
    1. Re:Attention Whore by MasamuneXGP · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ask, and you shall receive.
      http://img479.imageshack.us/my.php?image=attention whore27tz.gif