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The Neediest Dolls In The World

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the don't-get-enough-of-this-in-real-life dept.

captinsano writes "Forbes.com is taking a look at, 'The Needies,' the newest interactive stuffed toys, each one of which is fitted with an internal microprocessor and wireless antenna. They beg for attention (with varying levels of perversity) and when you finally pick one up the others complain loudly ("Throw him! Throw him!"). They're a cool example of the coming wave of wireless toys --and interestingly enough they are being designed for adults, not just children. There's a funny video showing the dolls in action, as well." These toys were originally designed after their NYU student creators and modeled after the horrible behavior they saw themselves exhibiting while trying to come up with a school project.

38 of 149 comments (clear)

  1. Risky idea by Tablizer · · Score: 3, Insightful

    They beg for attention (with varying levels of perversity) and when you finally pick one up the others complain loudly ("Throw him! Throw him!")

    Lawsuit city. Imagine when a toddler does the same thing to a *real* baby.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
    1. Re:Risky idea by falzer · · Score: 4, Funny

      > throw baby

    2. Re:Risky idea by whm · · Score: 5, Insightful

      This is a wonderful example of why we don't give real babies to toddlers! What planet are you from?

    3. Re:Risky idea by Mr.+Freeman · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Well yes, of course.
      But just look at video games. No one cares that it's the parent's responsibility to teach children not to mimic the video games. It will be the doll's fault for "instilling bad values into our nation's children".

      --
      -1 disagree is not a modifier for a reason. -1 troll, flaimbait, redundant, overrated are NOT acceptable substitutes.
    4. Re:Risky idea by rustbear · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm sure that would only happen if the other babies shouted "Throw him! Throw him!" when the toddler picked one up... Real babies just don't possess such a sharp wit.

    5. Re:Risky idea by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      > Bad parenting and nothing else. If parents can't instil good values and
      > commonsense behaviour into their children then they shouldn't be parents imho.

      bwahahaha. Spoken by the usual moron who has never had kids.

      Instilled good values and commonsense behaviour into a TODDLER?!

      May as well teach your dog particle physics.

    6. Re:Risky idea by Melfina · · Score: 2, Insightful
      When you say "usual moron who has never had kids" does that include morons that choose not to have kids, but still has a firm grip on how to deal with a child?

      I agree, teaching a toddler right and wrong, common sence, and good values is difficult. But 90% of the adults out there now don't have any one of these qualities. How do you expect a child to learn one thing if so many people around him are doing another?

      I have seen very smart and respectful toddlers, and terrible terrible, parent kicking ones too. It's all about the parents and the environment they are brought up in. If you're persistant with your child, he/she will eventually learn. But giving in is the worse thing you can do, no matter how cute they are~

      And teaching a dog anything is easy, repitition on a True and False test, with rewards for right answers will get you a nice dog into physics~

      --
      :3 rawr.
  2. Ads. by hungrygrue · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Jesus, could they have put any more ads in that damn video? Now I remember why I quit watching TV.

    1. Re:Ads. by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Informative

      Consider yourself lucky ... I had to stop half-way through (Suse Openlinux/Firefox).

      By the way - this toy is NOT original or new. About a decade ago, one of my nieces had a stuffed toy that, if you didn't pick it up every few minutes, would start complaining.

      If they try to sell these as "original", they may end up having to change their name from "Co-dependant Designs" to "Co-defendant Designs".

    2. Re:Ads. by e_dragon2001 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      My kid had one we referred to as "Annoying Amy" She came with all this stuff, bottles, juice, milk and what not. In her mouth and on the tips of each thing was a chip and let me tell ya when the little &*%$# asked for juice you best give her the juice cause she got pretty cranky if you didn't. "Amazing Amy" as she was actually known as was soon locked safely in childs closet (by child) and was happened upon by her friend. Freinds father still hasn't forgiven me for letting his kid take it home. The problem with her and I am definetly sure these would be far, far, far worse is a matter of sensory overload. They all need a shutup for a while mode, you know like real kids.....lol

    3. Re:Ads. by GoodbyeBlueSky1 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      By the way - this toy is NOT original or new. About a decade ago, one of my nieces had a stuffed toy that, if you didn't pick it up every few minutes, would start complaining.

      Did it interact with other stuffed toys nearby? I highly doubt it, and that seems to be the main thrust of the concept. There's a huge difference between a toy with a simple timer in it, and a toy that wirelessly interacts with other wireless toys.

      That said, these look like horrible toys, and it might just be me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that in the video someone was just sitting offstage speaking into a mic instead of the toys' "technology" being shown off.

      --
      why? forty-two.
    4. Re:Ads. by HD+Webdev · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Jesus, could they have put any more ads in that damn video? Now I remember why I quit watching TV.M

      I would not have minded one advertisement. Or, even a couple of very short ones at the beginning. After all, *someone* has to pay for bandwidth. I'll "pay" the price of losing 30-60 seconds of my time if the content is hard to find anywhere else and it's an interesting subject to me. Heck, if it's a quality 1 hour video I'll put up with several minutes (ala PBS) at the beginning but the content had better not disappoint me or I'll have a negative attitude about the products that helped pay for the video distribution.

      What I will not stand for is TV-like advertising that interrupts what I am watching. That, and then hearing crappy audio is what made me stop watching the video.

      --
      This is not a dream, not a dream...we are transmitting from the year 1-9-9-9.
  3. Nerdiest? by MyLongNickName · · Score: 2, Funny

    I always though Realdoll was the choice for the nerdiest?

    --
    See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    1. Re:Nerdiest? by MyLongNickName · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey moron. It's neediest. Not neriest.

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    2. Re:Nerdiest? by slavemowgli · · Score: 4, Insightful

      People who can't spell "nerdiest" shouldn't go around calling others morons. :)

      --
      quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
    3. Re:Nerdiest? by BushCheney08 · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's okay. He wasn't calling anyone else a moron...

      --
      Be a real patriot: Question authority. Think for yourself. Formulate your own conclusions.
  4. Alright! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Just in time for Christmas!

  5. investors by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...when you finally pick one up the others complain loudly ("Throw him! Throw him!").

    Rumor has it that Steve Ballmer has invested in this technology and plans to implement it in a new line of chairs.

  6. ID by daeley · · Score: 2, Funny

    These toys were originally designed after their NYU student creators and modeled after the horrible behavior they saw themselves exhibiting while trying to come up with a school project.

    Damnit, when will these Intelligent Design freaks stop their propaganda campaign?! ;)

    --
    I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
  7. How long until... by still_sick · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... This technology is integrated into RealDolls?

    Finally, you can have a more realistic three-way without faking two falsetto voices.

    --
    ...Also, I didn't know Buggalo could fly.
    1. Re:How long until... by Rude+Turnip · · Score: 5, Funny

      I thought people bought those things specifically because they *don't* talk back.

      --
      Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
  8. Re:I, for one..... by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    ..Welcome our new toy throwing overlords.....

    They are called "Toddlers", sometimes also known as "Storm-Troopers in the Army of Chaos".

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  9. Sadistic? by MikeFM · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sounds like a fun sadistic toy. I hope these things are like really mean. (I am remembering a cute late night cable tv cartoon with furry animals killing each other.) It'd be great to be able to buy toy flame throwers and stuff and have the dolls yell at you to fry each other. If done right this could go well with my demotivator posters! :)

    --
    At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
    1. Re:Sadistic? by foniksonik · · Score: 2, Interesting

      "I am remembering a cute late night cable tv cartoon with furry animals killing each other."

      You mean like this: http://www.happytreefriends.com/

      --
      A fool throws a stone into a well and a thousand sages can not remove it.
    2. Re:Sadistic? by KanSer · · Score: 2, Funny

      These things sound like an unholy union between Furby and those evil little fuckers from the Gremlins movies.

      --
      • MOD PARENT UP by Anonymous Coward Wednesday April 20, @4:20
  10. I smell a prank. by Cloud+9 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Guaranteed we'll be hearing about this in a week.

    --
    Karma: Dyn-o-mite!(mostly affected by Jimmy Walker reading your comments)
  11. Chucky by neochubbz · · Score: 2, Funny

    Apparently these guys never watched Chucky the Killer Doll as children. I just can't wait till someone hax0rz these things wirelessly to attack the children!

    --
    Charming man. I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one. -Arthur Dent
  12. oodles of fun by spirit_fingers · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can see how these things could be big laughs for the first 10 minutes. Just stick your hand up their ass and they start chattering away. Love me squeeze me never leave me. How cute. How adorably neurotically needy! By minute 11, I think I'd begin to feel a burning desire to cram them into the microwave. The frozen burrito setting should be about right. In that regard, Needies are much like my first marriage, only without the pre-nup.

    1. Re:oodles of fun by bladesjester · · Score: 2, Funny

      Somehow I can see MS doing this for their next gen console. Every time you go to use a Playstation or Nintendo, you hear "smash him! throw him! play with meeeeee! you know *I* love you!!" =]

      --
      Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
  13. There's a funny video showing the dolls in action. by johncadengo · · Score: 4, Informative

    There's a funny video showing the dolls in action, as well.

    That video wasn't really that funny. I mean, the guy was laughing half the time at his own jokes and the lady... Well, the lady seemed bored of him and a little annoyed at the dolls. I would be annoyed at those dolls. I can't see how they would ever perform well, selling-wise. I wouldn't simply turn it off and throw it away. It incites rage-like, pyro-like tendencies in me... Grrr... I could already sense my temper flaming up just from watching the video...

    --
    My page.
  14. Toss my Toys! by Joffy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I think the guy ticked off someone cause they kept turning the volume down on his mic. Unless he talks like that normally then I can see why he needed to invent some friends. The girl also looked liked the only thing she has ever slept with is a couple of dolls. Someone give her a shot of Jager stat!! Wow that was an awful video. Anyways the toys look like something I'd want to throw across the room for sure. And was I the only one getting a creepy vibe from him fondling the toy crotch? I do like the marketing idea, cause you can't just buy one to use them as intended. I can't wait for one of them to get a virus. The writer could take patient zero to a couple of malls and have a botfarm by lunch to do his evil bidding.

  15. I Don't Need This... by Ginnungagap42 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... I've got two daughters. Same concept, except I have to send them to college.

  16. I once knew a needy doll by porkThreeWays · · Score: 4, Funny

    nyah, I once knew a needy doll. She had moxy I tell ya. Moxy! Then the coppers came. She said "you ain't gonna get me coppers! Nyah!!!". They shot her all to pieces, seeee. She was always callin me on the rotary seeee. That dame was a needy doll.

    --
    If an officer ever threatens to taze you, say you have a pacemaker.
  17. Worst reporter ever by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Who gave that reporter a job?

    I have seen/heard better video presence on The Naked News. Even if you turn off the monitor and merely listen to The Naked News you'll get higher quality news, better dialog, more informative reporting, and in general more professional reporting than this crappy Forbes video.

    This comes witht he disclaimer that the last time I watched The Naked News was back in 2000 when they still gave out free daily shows.

  18. what about the "toys" effect on their owners? by constantnormal · · Score: 2, Funny

    This could spark a wave of vasectomies and hysterectomies.

  19. Real Ads by wooferhound · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Not to mention the fact that it needs Real Player to view it.
    this makes it an advertisment playing an advertisment.

    --
    We are Dead Stars looking back Up at the Sky
  20. Re:Worst video ever by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Yo forgot "most blatant attempt to get some dumb-ass VC to throw money their way", and "Oops - forgot to update the web site" awards.

    From their web site:

    We anticipate the release of an ultra-limited edition line of Needies in November 2005. We do not yet have pricing information but we will be happy to answer any questions you may have. Manufacturers and distributors: please feel free to contact us.

    Just e-mail: info@needies.com

    If you'd like to hear more about Needies as we develop them, please sign up for the Needies mailing list.

    Don't send them your email. Go to their site instead http://www.needies.com/contact.php? and enter someone else's email address to get them on the needies mailing list.

    And yes, I just did president@whitehouse.gov - hopefully Bush will declare war on them.

  21. Re:Ads by Stalks · · Score: 2, Informative
    Why not grab the free alternative to Real Player? It works in WMC, and also has a firefox/opera/ie plugin to work seemlessly as if it were the real Real Player.

    I just downloaded it and I'm really pleased =]