The Neediest Dolls In The World

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The Neediest Dolls In The World

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Monday December 26, 2005 @10:03AM from the don't-get-enough-of-this-in-real-life dept.

captinsano writes "Forbes.com is taking a look at, 'The Needies,' the newest interactive stuffed toys, each one of which is fitted with an internal microprocessor and wireless antenna. They beg for attention (with varying levels of perversity) and when you finally pick one up the others complain loudly ("Throw him! Throw him!"). They're a cool example of the coming wave of wireless toys --and interestingly enough they are being designed for adults, not just children. There's a funny video showing the dolls in action, as well." These toys were originally designed after their NYU student creators and modeled after the horrible behavior they saw themselves exhibiting while trying to come up with a school project.

112 of 149 comments (clear)

Risky idea by Tablizer · 2005-12-26 10:05 · Score: 3, Insightful

They beg for attention (with varying levels of perversity) and when you finally pick one up the others complain loudly ("Throw him! Throw him!")

Lawsuit city. Imagine when a toddler does the same thing to a *real* baby.

--
Table-ized A.I.
1. Re:Risky idea by falzer · 2005-12-26 10:32 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  > throw baby
2. Re:Risky idea by whm · 2005-12-26 11:28 · Score: 5, Insightful
  
  This is a wonderful example of why we don't give real babies to toddlers! What planet are you from?
3. Re:Risky idea by Mr.+Freeman · 2005-12-26 11:49 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Well yes, of course.
  But just look at video games. No one cares that it's the parent's responsibility to teach children not to mimic the video games. It will be the doll's fault for "instilling bad values into our nation's children".
  
  --
  -1 disagree is not a modifier for a reason. -1 troll, flaimbait, redundant, overrated are NOT acceptable substitutes.
4. Re:Risky idea by rustbear · 2005-12-26 12:14 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'm sure that would only happen if the other babies shouted "Throw him! Throw him!" when the toddler picked one up... Real babies just don't possess such a sharp wit.
5. Re:Risky idea by Anonymous Coward · 2005-12-26 12:49 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  > Bad parenting and nothing else. If parents can't instil good values and
  > commonsense behaviour into their children then they shouldn't be parents imho.
  
  bwahahaha. Spoken by the usual moron who has never had kids.
  
  Instilled good values and commonsense behaviour into a TODDLER?!
  
  May as well teach your dog particle physics.
6. Re:Risky idea by commodoresloat · 2005-12-26 13:26 · Score: 1
  
  The dolls' target market is 14-24; not "toddlers" and definitely more in the range of ages of children who would throw smaller children around.
  That said, anyone who buys this crap deserves what they get. Needy dolls from Codependent inc.? Don't we have enough of that shit in our real lives to seek it out in cuddly toys? On top of that the toys don't look all that pleasant at all; they are ugly and dopey looking, hardly the kind of thing I would want to hug, especially if it was fucking whining "touch me touch me" like the one in the video.
  Certainly when I was 14-24 I had a lot more interesting things to do than playing caretaker for computerized codependents. Do these morons really expect to sell any of these things??
7. Re:Risky idea by Feanturi · 2005-12-26 13:38 · Score: 1
  
  Yeah, because it's just so very simple to explain things rationally to a toddler.
8. Re:Risky idea by Melfina · 2005-12-26 16:07 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  When you say "usual moron who has never had kids" does that include morons that choose not to have kids, but still has a firm grip on how to deal with a child?
  I agree, teaching a toddler right and wrong, common sence, and good values is difficult. But 90% of the adults out there now don't have any one of these qualities. How do you expect a child to learn one thing if so many people around him are doing another?
  I have seen very smart and respectful toddlers, and terrible terrible, parent kicking ones too. It's all about the parents and the environment they are brought up in. If you're persistant with your child, he/she will eventually learn. But giving in is the worse thing you can do, no matter how cute they are~
  And teaching a dog anything is easy, repitition on a True and False test, with rewards for right answers will get you a nice dog into physics~
  
  --
  :3 rawr.
9. Re:Risky idea by SeaFox · 2005-12-26 16:40 · Score: 1
  
  Lawsuit city. Imagine when a toddler does the same thing to a *real* baby.
  
  Well, when he picks up the real baby, all the toys wont shout "throw him! throw him!" since the real baby wont have the microprocessor and wireless connection to the the toys.
  
  But if this is a Borg family...
10. Re:Risky idea by Tablizer · 2005-12-26 18:00 · Score: 1
  
  "...and interestingly enough they are being designed for adults, not just children."
  
  Note the "not just". Adults get tired of them and hand them to children. Happens all the time. Many kids got a bunch of Furbies because teenage girls didn't want them anymore when they fell out of style.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
11. Re:Risky idea by Tablizer · 2005-12-26 18:03 · Score: 1
  
  Bad parenting and nothing else. If parents can't instil good values and commonsense behaviour into their children then they shouldn't be parents imho.
  
  And this includes not giving them toys that encourage bad behavior.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
12. Re:Risky idea by PHPfanboy · 2005-12-26 20:11 · Score: 1
  
  http://www.needies.com/mossie.html
  Install, insert, whatever..... I just hope the cover is machine washable
  
  --
  29 mpg. YMMV.
13. Re:Risky idea by Fordiman · 2005-12-26 20:25 · Score: 1
  
  "Thank you, the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation"
  
  --
  110100 1101000 1101000 1100110 0 1101111 1101000 1100011 1
14. Re:Risky idea by matija · 2005-12-26 21:14 · Score: 1
  
  May as well teach your dog particle physics.
  Don't say that to my Fido (you insensitive clod!): he has been working on his Ph.D. for 14 dog years. Imagine his disappointement if he were told it was impossible at this late stage...
  
  --
  Duct tape + WD40 => DevOps
15. Re:Risky idea by kokojie · 2005-12-27 02:36 · Score: 1
  
  When was the last time you saw a toddler strong enough to pick up a 15 pound object and throw it?
16. Re:Risky idea by jonadab · 2005-12-27 02:40 · Score: 1
  
  > When you say "usual moron who has never had kids" does that include morons that choose
  > not to have kids, but still has a firm grip on how to deal with a child?
  
  It includes everyone. Parents who have set out to raise their children in a certain way and failed to have it come together in the way that they originally intended frequently think they know more about child-rearing than anyone else. (This is probably *why* they have failed to work things out the way they wanted.) They want to blame the laws of nature for the problems that they've had, rather than looking for what mistakes they may have made. They couldn't have made any mistakes, of course. They did everything perfect. The fact that their little angels are hellians just proves that parenting is a hopeless task, and that anyone who says otherwise has obviously never attempted to raise children. Any examples to the contrary are deceptive anomolies, or simply untrue.
  
  It isn't worth arguing with these people. By the time they reach the point of calling anyone who hasn't raised children a moron, they've already finished with attempting to raise their own children, so it's pointless (and possibly cruel) to try to help them see their mistakes.
  
  One thing I know about raising children: it's difficult difficult (and possibly impossible) to know that you've succeeded before the children are fully grown, but many people fail before the children can walk or talk, and those of us who have seen children raised well (e.g., younger siblings) can spot it immediately. When you see the three-year-old dictating to the parents what they will fix for him to eat (just for example), you know that these are parents who will grow up to make comments like the grandparent post.
  
  --
  Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
17. Re:Risky idea by srussell · 2005-12-27 08:25 · Score: 1
  
  throw baby
  I think the game is properly called "kick the baby."
  --- SER
18. Re:Risky idea by Lotharus · 2005-12-27 08:32 · Score: 1
  
  You're missing the point. Bad parenting, in this case, == What the **** kind of parent lets a TODDLER hold an INFANT to even open the possibility of it being thrown or otherwise mishandled in the first place??
  
  The only lawsuit risk here is criminal neglect on the part of the parent..
  
  --
  http://undecidedgames.blogspot.com
19. Re:Risky idea by Tablizer · 2005-12-27 16:35 · Score: 1
  
  When was the last time you saw a toddler strong enough to pick up a 15 pound object and throw it?
  
  An attempt alone may be enough to cause injury.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
20. Re:Risky idea by QMO · 2006-01-01 07:29 · Score: 1
  
  "morons that choose not to have kids, but still has a firm grip on how to deal with a child?"
  
  As the 4th of 9 children, with several nephews and nieces before I got married, and with very good examples of how to take care of children, I would say:
  
  Most people who have never had children of their own, but think that they know how to deal with them, are mistaken (though not necessarily morons).
  
  One of the common mistakes that childless people make is that babysitting for 2 hours, 3 days, or 2 months, is not the same as having full responsibility for a child for years.
  
  It is a very common mistake for people to believe that they know how to do a job better than someone who actually has experience doing it. For another good example observe a few serious sports fans telling the coach (via TV) how to better run the team.
  
  Disclaimer: I know that there are people that are good at taking care of children full time (as in 24/7/365) that never had any of their own.
  
  --
  Exam 4/C again. Maybe I'll do better this time.
Ads. by hungrygrue · 2005-12-26 10:06 · Score: 4, Insightful

Jesus, could they have put any more ads in that damn video? Now I remember why I quit watching TV.
1. Re:Ads. by h4rm0ny · 2005-12-26 10:08 · Score: 1
  
  I wouldn't know... "Helix cannot play this format."
  
  Ho hum.
  
  --
  
  Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
2. Re:Ads. by tomhudson · 2005-12-26 11:04 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  Consider yourself lucky ... I had to stop half-way through (Suse Openlinux/Firefox).
  By the way - this toy is NOT original or new. About a decade ago, one of my nieces had a stuffed toy that, if you didn't pick it up every few minutes, would start complaining.
  If they try to sell these as "original", they may end up having to change their name from "Co-dependant Designs" to "Co-defendant Designs".
3. Re:Ads. by e_dragon2001 · 2005-12-26 11:34 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  My kid had one we referred to as "Annoying Amy" She came with all this stuff, bottles, juice, milk and what not. In her mouth and on the tips of each thing was a chip and let me tell ya when the little &*%$# asked for juice you best give her the juice cause she got pretty cranky if you didn't. "Amazing Amy" as she was actually known as was soon locked safely in childs closet (by child) and was happened upon by her friend. Freinds father still hasn't forgiven me for letting his kid take it home. The problem with her and I am definetly sure these would be far, far, far worse is a matter of sensory overload. They all need a shutup for a while mode, you know like real kids.....lol
4. Re:Ads. by e_dragon2001 · 2005-12-26 11:40 · Score: 1
  
  here is the little *&^%$ on eBay. http://cgi.ebay.com/AMAZING-AMY-DOLL-WITH-2-OUTFIT S-EXTRAS_W0QQitemZ5648684921QQcategoryZ11694QQtcZp hotoQQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
5. Re:Ads. by GoodbyeBlueSky1 · 2005-12-26 11:53 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  By the way - this toy is NOT original or new. About a decade ago, one of my nieces had a stuffed toy that, if you didn't pick it up every few minutes, would start complaining.
  
  Did it interact with other stuffed toys nearby? I highly doubt it, and that seems to be the main thrust of the concept. There's a huge difference between a toy with a simple timer in it, and a toy that wirelessly interacts with other wireless toys.
  
  That said, these look like horrible toys, and it might just be me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that in the video someone was just sitting offstage speaking into a mic instead of the toys' "technology" being shown off.
  
  --
  why? forty-two.
6. Re:Ads. by fleaboy · 2005-12-26 12:03 · Score: 1
  
  Amen, on the TV watching I'm with you. I stopped watching that gargage over 8 years ago. And if the dolls aren't a joke, well then they have earned my vote for top honors on the list of worst ideas of 2005/2006(not to mention maybe a Darwin Award mention). The only thing that scares me about this is the makers and the potential market of these dolls are operating vehicles on our nations streets and highways. "Shootin's too good for ya, hangin's too good for ya..." --Heavy Metal the movie
  
  --
  Life is a gift. And my Karma couldn't possibly be 'Positive'
7. Re:Ads. by HD+Webdev · 2005-12-26 12:17 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Jesus, could they have put any more ads in that damn video? Now I remember why I quit watching TV.M
  
  I would not have minded one advertisement. Or, even a couple of very short ones at the beginning. After all, *someone* has to pay for bandwidth. I'll "pay" the price of losing 30-60 seconds of my time if the content is hard to find anywhere else and it's an interesting subject to me. Heck, if it's a quality 1 hour video I'll put up with several minutes (ala PBS) at the beginning but the content had better not disappoint me or I'll have a negative attitude about the products that helped pay for the video distribution.
  
  What I will not stand for is TV-like advertising that interrupts what I am watching. That, and then hearing crappy audio is what made me stop watching the video.
  
  --
  This is not a dream, not a dream...we are transmitting from the year 1-9-9-9.
8. Re:Ads. by tomhudson · 2005-12-26 13:27 · Score: 1, Interesting
  
  The video was a fake. The toy addressed its creator by name. It was obvious at that point it was nothing more than somebody using a "Mr. Microphone."
9. Re:Ads. by Ryosen · 2005-12-26 18:07 · Score: 1
  
  Gave my kid a talking winnie-the-pool doll for christmas. It comes with personalization software and hooks up to the PC via a USB cable. You put in your kids name, birthday, their favorite colors, foods, etc, and it gives the appearance that it really knows its owner. So it's possible that the video is genuine.
  
  --
  
  Ryosen
  One man's "Troll, +1" is another man's "Insightful, +1".
10. Re:Ads. by tomhudson · 2005-12-26 18:42 · Score: 1
  
  This one had the same voice for the whole phrase, not just the name.
  It was painful to watch, as everyone else here can attest to.
  If you go to the website, you'll see that they're just trying to raise $$$. I put George Bush on their "subscribe to email" list. He's pretty needy.
11. Re:Ads. by hungrygrue · 2005-12-27 02:48 · Score: 1
  
  I take it you don't have Firefox with AdBlock.
12. Re:Ads. by hungrygrue · 2006-01-03 04:19 · Score: 1
  
  You can adblock content from any address you want. If, for instance, fastclick.net is trying to pump out flash ads as well as others, then I wouldn't know 'cause fastclick.net is in my adblock filter.
Nerdiest? by MyLongNickName · 2005-12-26 10:06 · Score: 2, Funny

I always though Realdoll was the choice for the nerdiest?

--
See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
1. Re:Nerdiest? by MyLongNickName · 2005-12-26 10:09 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Hey moron. It's neediest. Not neriest.
  
  --
  See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
2. Re:Nerdiest? by slavemowgli · 2005-12-26 10:13 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  People who can't spell "nerdiest" shouldn't go around calling others morons. :)
  
  --
  quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
3. Re:Nerdiest? by BushCheney08 · 2005-12-26 10:14 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  It's okay. He wasn't calling anyone else a moron...
  
  --
  Be a real patriot: Question authority. Think for yourself. Formulate your own conclusions.
4. Re:Nerdiest? by slavemowgli · 2005-12-26 10:16 · Score: 1
  
  Touché. :)
  
  --
  quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
5. Re:Nerdiest? by SamSim · 2005-12-27 00:07 · Score: 1
  
  There's a doll which uses RealPlayer now? Oh dear.
  
  --
  qntm.org
Alright! by Anonymous Coward · 2005-12-26 10:07 · Score: 3, Funny

Just in time for Christmas!
Worst video ever by Anonymous Coward · 2005-12-26 10:09 · Score: 1

This one wins awards for "Stiffest Performance by a Host", "Worst Host", "Least Content", and "Least Fun". Avoid.
1. Re:Worst video ever by tomhudson · 2005-12-26 14:48 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  Yo forgot "most blatant attempt to get some dumb-ass VC to throw money their way", and "Oops - forgot to update the web site" awards.
  From their web site:
  We anticipate the release of an ultra-limited edition line of Needies in November 2005. We do not yet have pricing information but we will be happy to answer any questions you may have. Manufacturers and distributors: please feel free to contact us.
  Just e-mail: info@needies.com
  If you'd like to hear more about Needies as we develop them, please sign up for the Needies mailing list.
  
  Don't send them your email. Go to their site instead http://www.needies.com/contact.php? and enter someone else's email address to get them on the needies mailing list.
  And yes, I just did president@whitehouse.gov - hopefully Bush will declare war on them.
investors by Anonymous Coward · 2005-12-26 10:11 · Score: 5, Funny

...when you finally pick one up the others complain loudly ("Throw him! Throw him!").

Rumor has it that Steve Ballmer has invested in this technology and plans to implement it in a new line of chairs.
ID by daeley · 2005-12-26 10:11 · Score: 2, Funny

These toys were originally designed after their NYU student creators and modeled after the horrible behavior they saw themselves exhibiting while trying to come up with a school project.

Damnit, when will these Intelligent Design freaks stop their propaganda campaign?! ;)

--
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
How long until... by still_sick · 2005-12-26 10:12 · Score: 5, Funny

... This technology is integrated into RealDolls?

Finally, you can have a more realistic three-way without faking two falsetto voices.

--
...Also, I didn't know Buggalo could fly.
1. Re:How long until... by Rude+Turnip · 2005-12-26 10:30 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I thought people bought those things specifically because they *don't* talk back.
  
  --
  Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
Re:I, for one..... by Tablizer · 2005-12-26 10:13 · Score: 5, Funny

..Welcome our new toy throwing overlords.....

They are called "Toddlers", sometimes also known as "Storm-Troopers in the Army of Chaos".

--
Table-ized A.I.
Presenter... by DJTodd242 · 2005-12-26 10:14 · Score: 1

Are we sure that that Forbes.com staff writer whos trying to be a presenter isn't the doll? Good god she's wooden.

Plus of course, 800 commercials. Whee. Useless waste of bandwidth!
Sadistic? by MikeFM · 2005-12-26 10:15 · Score: 2, Funny

Sounds like a fun sadistic toy. I hope these things are like really mean. (I am remembering a cute late night cable tv cartoon with furry animals killing each other.) It'd be great to be able to buy toy flame throwers and stuff and have the dolls yell at you to fry each other. If done right this could go well with my demotivator posters! :)

--
At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
1. Re:Sadistic? by foniksonik · 2005-12-26 12:04 · Score: 2, Interesting
  
  "I am remembering a cute late night cable tv cartoon with furry animals killing each other."
  
  You mean like this: http://www.happytreefriends.com/
  
  --
  A fool throws a stone into a well and a thousand sages can not remove it.
2. Re:Sadistic? by Geekenstein · 2005-12-26 12:12 · Score: 1
  
  Late night? Cable?
  
  Don't you mean Pokemon?
3. Re:Sadistic? by Klowner · 2005-12-26 12:58 · Score: 1
  
  http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-798640067 6833323973&q=happy+tree
  
  wow..
4. Re:Sadistic? by MikeFM · 2005-12-26 13:01 · Score: 1
  
  That shit is to scary for me. What kind of kids show would name itself something so filthy. Eeek my stuffed animal just tried to poke me man! Nasty stuffed animal rapists.
  
  --
  At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
5. Re:Sadistic? by KanSer · 2005-12-26 13:06 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  These things sound like an unholy union between Furby and those evil little fuckers from the Gremlins movies.
  --
  
  MOD PARENT UP by Anonymous Coward Wednesday April 20, @4:20
6. Re:Sadistic? by MikeFM · 2005-12-26 13:38 · Score: 1
  
  Evil little fuckers? You mean the Gremlins? ;)
  
  I haven't seen those movies in years but man they made me laugh when I was a kid. Better check on Netflicks!
  
  --
  At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
I smell a prank. by Cloud+9 · 2005-12-26 10:16 · Score: 2, Interesting

Guaranteed we'll be hearing about this in a week.

--
Karma: Dyn-o-mite!(mostly affected by Jimmy Walker reading your comments)
1. Re:I smell a prank. by rakslice · 2005-12-26 10:52 · Score: 1
  
  What, due to the obligatory double post (complete with even-more-misleading headline?)
2. Re:I smell a prank. by ettlz · 2005-12-26 22:27 · Score: 1
  
  It might not be a prank, but I think Forbes.com are really scraping the bottom of the barrel in absentia professionals...
Chucky by neochubbz · 2005-12-26 10:17 · Score: 2, Funny

Apparently these guys never watched Chucky the Killer Doll as children. I just can't wait till someone hax0rz these things wirelessly to attack the children!

--
Charming man. I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one. -Arthur Dent
for anyone too lazy to google by zephc · 2005-12-26 10:22 · Score: 1

http://www.needies.com/ or http://www.needies.com.nyud.net:8090/

--
"I would say that 99 per cent of what my father has written about his own life is false." - L. Ron Hubbard Jr.
oodles of fun by spirit_fingers · 2005-12-26 10:25 · Score: 5, Funny

I can see how these things could be big laughs for the first 10 minutes. Just stick your hand up their ass and they start chattering away. Love me squeeze me never leave me. How cute. How adorably neurotically needy! By minute 11, I think I'd begin to feel a burning desire to cram them into the microwave. The frozen burrito setting should be about right. In that regard, Needies are much like my first marriage, only without the pre-nup.
1. Re:oodles of fun by bladesjester · 2005-12-26 12:44 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Somehow I can see MS doing this for their next gen console. Every time you go to use a Playstation or Nintendo, you hear "smash him! throw him! play with meeeeee! you know *I* love you!!" =]
  
  --
  Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
2. Re:oodles of fun by AndroidCat · 2005-12-26 14:37 · Score: 1
  
  Clippy needs your affection! "I see that you're trying to play some Nintento junk..."
  
  --
  One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
3. Re:oodles of fun by pembo13 · 2005-12-27 01:39 · Score: 1
  
  You seem to have some unresolved psychological issues.
  
  --
  "Thanks for all the money you paid to us. We've used it to buy off ISO among other things" -Microsoft
4. Re:oodles of fun by PFI_Optix · 2005-12-27 03:50 · Score: 1
  
  It's called alimony.
  
  --
  120 characters for a sig? That's bloody useless.
There's a funny video showing the dolls in action. by johncadengo · 2005-12-26 10:25 · Score: 4, Informative

There's a funny video showing the dolls in action, as well.

That video wasn't really that funny. I mean, the guy was laughing half the time at his own jokes and the lady... Well, the lady seemed bored of him and a little annoyed at the dolls. I would be annoyed at those dolls. I can't see how they would ever perform well, selling-wise. I wouldn't simply turn it off and throw it away. It incites rage-like, pyro-like tendencies in me... Grrr... I could already sense my temper flaming up just from watching the video...

--
My page.
The Slashdot Effect by 4D6963 · 2005-12-26 10:30 · Score: 1, Insightful

The video won't load. That's the Slashdot effect I guess. Thank you the Slashdot effect

--
You just got troll'd!
1. Re:The Slashdot Effect by ichigo+2.0 · 2005-12-26 11:50 · Score: 1
  
  You're welcome 4D6963.
I wonder what they say when... by k00110 · 2005-12-26 10:31 · Score: 1

Used as punching bags
Toss my Toys! by Joffy · 2005-12-26 10:39 · Score: 2, Interesting

I think the guy ticked off someone cause they kept turning the volume down on his mic. Unless he talks like that normally then I can see why he needed to invent some friends. The girl also looked liked the only thing she has ever slept with is a couple of dolls. Someone give her a shot of Jager stat!! Wow that was an awful video. Anyways the toys look like something I'd want to throw across the room for sure. And was I the only one getting a creepy vibe from him fondling the toy crotch? I do like the marketing idea, cause you can't just buy one to use them as intended. I can't wait for one of them to get a virus. The writer could take patient zero to a couple of malls and have a botfarm by lunch to do his evil bidding.
1. Re:Toss my Toys! by ZoomieDood · 2005-12-26 16:09 · Score: 1
  
  Funny, I thought it was odd that the one he kept fondling looked more like a set of boobs.
Re:I, for one..... by Joffy · 2005-12-26 10:43 · Score: 1

hmmmm So what would you call a Commander from this storm-T*roopers in the A*rmy of C*haO*s
Geddy Lee's career is over? by JonTurner · 2005-12-26 10:47 · Score: 1

Has it really come to this? http://www.needies.com/contact.php
From progressive rock god, to toy salesman. How sad.
That has got to be... by hellfire · 2005-12-26 11:00 · Score: 1

...the most underwhelming and boring recorded interview for a product ever. She has no stage presence, he has no personality, and I couldn't stand how slow it was going before I shut it off before the presentation. Show the damn toys already!

And what's worse? They played that stupid car commercial twice and you can't fast forward in the window. Stupid commercial, stupid car, stupid people!

I'm going to grab a needie and beat you all with it! GRRRRRRR!

--
"All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"
Needy? by camperslo · 2005-12-26 11:15 · Score: 1

I hope the Borg doesn't start designing them. Then they'd always be asking for money and getting the flu.
Wooden horse included for free?

My name is Talking Tina and you'd better pay your license fee...
Blond doll by knipknap · 2005-12-26 11:15 · Score: 1

I'll take that blond needy interactive doll sitting in the left chair.
1. Re:Blond doll by DigitalRaptor · 2005-12-26 12:20 · Score: 1
  
  Are you referring to Queen Monotone?
  
  --
  Lose Weight and Feel Great with Isagenix
2. Re:Blond doll by iapetus · 2005-12-26 12:27 · Score: 1
  
  I'll pass on that until they can produce one with a lifelike voice.
  
  --
  ++ Say to Elrond "Hello.".
  Elrond says "No.". Elrond gives you some lunch.
I Don't Need This... by Ginnungagap42 · 2005-12-26 11:45 · Score: 4, Funny

... I've got two daughters. Same concept, except I have to send them to college.
1. Re:I Don't Need This... by Nutty_Irishman · 2005-12-26 14:59 · Score: 1
  
  ... I've got two daughters. Same concept, except I have to send them to college.
  
  Where they will go on to the lucrative career of creating doll replicas of themselves...
I once knew a needy doll by porkThreeWays · 2005-12-26 11:50 · Score: 4, Funny

nyah, I once knew a needy doll. She had moxy I tell ya. Moxy! Then the coppers came. She said "you ain't gonna get me coppers! Nyah!!!". They shot her all to pieces, seeee. She was always callin me on the rotary seeee. That dame was a needy doll.

--
If an officer ever threatens to taze you, say you have a pacemaker.
Worst reporter ever by Anonymous Coward · 2005-12-26 11:54 · Score: 2, Interesting

Who gave that reporter a job?

I have seen/heard better video presence on The Naked News. Even if you turn off the monitor and merely listen to The Naked News you'll get higher quality news, better dialog, more informative reporting, and in general more professional reporting than this crappy Forbes video.

This comes witht he disclaimer that the last time I watched The Naked News was back in 2000 when they still gave out free daily shows.
1. Re:Worst reporter ever by elrous0 · 2005-12-29 05:14 · Score: 1
  
  Well, it doesn't look like they pay her very well, anyway. For God's sake Forbes, at least give her enough money to buy food!!
  -Eric
  
  --
  SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Re:I love Slashdot by ichigo+2.0 · 2005-12-26 11:55 · Score: 1

Why do we have to watch commercials to see an interview which promotes a product and therefore also is a commercial?
we need an open source doll by pbjones · 2005-12-26 11:58 · Score: 1

we need an open source doll, someone in asia, should just release an open source doll as a frame and electronics and let the rest of us add, dress and modify.

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There was an unknown error in the submission.
HEY!! by dartarrow · 2005-12-26 11:59 · Score: 1

that seems to mimic my girlfriend! Except that her 'competition' is my Pocket PC and '73 Mini Cooper. Wonder if I can sue for copyright infringement....?

--
I love humanity, it is people I hate
1. Re:HEY!! by GWTPict · 2005-12-26 13:09 · Score: 1
  
  You have a pocket PC AND a girlfriend?
  It's the '73 Mini Cooper isn't it? Bastard.
Laurel and Hardy by blitz487 · 2005-12-26 12:35 · Score: 1

supposedly modeled their skits after the behavior of children, which provided an endless source of material.
what about the "toys" effect on their owners? by constantnormal · 2005-12-26 12:45 · Score: 2, Funny

This could spark a wave of vasectomies and hysterectomies.
Not new by OverflowingBitBucket · 2005-12-26 13:27 · Score: 1

These aren't new. I remember reading about them a couple of years ago, when they were a new startup like they are now (huh?). I remember the many, many comments about exactly where the model placed her hands on the toys.

It's a shame they are _still_ searching for someone to mass-market them. Even worse that you _still_ can't buy them. I think they have a really, really neat idea there.
1. Re:Not new by bladesjester · 2005-12-26 15:25 · Score: 1
  
  According to a new update on their site (on the front page), the limited edition sale never happened but they are going to be at Toy Fair 2006 in NYC. Booth #5856 in the Urban Bazaar section.
  
  There may be hope for the psychotically demanding toys yet. I'm just wondering how long it will take the guys from the RoboCup lab at my alma mater to get their grubby little fingers on a few of them and hack the things to be *really* entertaining.
  
  --
  Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
2. Re:Not new by OverflowingBitBucket · 2005-12-26 15:45 · Score: 1
  
  Well, I hope they do well. They are the sort of toys that I'd buy if they caught me at a time with decent disposable income.
  
  And I hope they are hackable to some degree, I mean, soft toys that can speak and communicate amongst themselves... some possibilities there... ;)
3. Re:Not new by bladesjester · 2005-12-26 16:08 · Score: 1
  
  I have this fear that they'll do something like:
  "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"
  "My name is Talking Tina, and I'm going to kill you"
  or "I'll be your friend till the end! Hidey-ho!"
  
  --
  Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
what's with the schmoo? by rtphokie · 2005-12-26 13:39 · Score: 1

Good to see the Schmoo is getting work these days.
Re:Lamest Slashdot article ever. by Jeremi · 2005-12-26 13:40 · Score: 1

Dude, this is the stupidest thing I ever saw!

Are you kidding? It's genius! The entire history of dolls has been monopolized by kitschy-cooing sweet girly things, and the only place you could find any kind of doll-based evil Machiavellian backstabbing at all was in the "Chucky" movies. But now this technology has finally made evil dolls available to the common man! And this is only the first generation... as technology progresses would should see the state of the art grow to include everything from the traditional cymbal-playing monkeys and child-eating clowns to (someday) fulfilling the dream of owning my own full-fledged Terminator.

It's truly a great time to be alive.

--

I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
Neediest interviewer lady by ylikone · 2005-12-26 13:57 · Score: 1

MY GOD, that interviewer needs some lessons in interviewing people. It's like she's never done this before.

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Meh.
Union! Strike! by nanopolitan · 2005-12-26 13:57 · Score: 1

The last I heard, the toys are also programmed to grow up from being just needy to becoming utterly demanding. Will they form a union? Will they go on strike?

Watch this space ...
TV-controlled dolls are already here by nfarrell · 2005-12-26 14:02 · Score: 1

A friend of a friend recently came up with the idea of promoting beer by giving away dolls of a cricket icon (think baseball but slower) with large purchases of their product.

The TV transmissions of certain games sent out signals the dolls responded to, saying various more-or-less appropriate comments.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/sport/boonanza-for-thes e-fans-but-sport-too-fleeting-for-former-pm/2005/1 2/09/1134086812393.html
1. Re:TV-controlled dolls are already here by dangitman · 2005-12-26 15:09 · Score: 1
  
  By "TV-controlled dolls," do you mean humans?
  
  --
  ... and then they built the supercollider.
Bah, Mad TV had these years ago... by NeuroManson · 2005-12-26 14:06 · Score: 1

With Needy Evie: http://www.planetmadtv.com/forum/showthread.php?s= e4e2ef87fb36e21acd0709981447ed57&threadid=7217

Needy Evie: I need someone who will love me and never leave me, is that you? Is it?
ANSWER ME! STOP IGNORING ME! I'M TALKING TO YOU!
I'm a little doll and I deserve to be loved! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!?

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Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
Downloadable content by AndroidCat · 2005-12-26 14:25 · Score: 1

Program them with all the Slashdot catch-phrases. Imagine a Beowulf Cluster of them! Aiiiieeeee!
Hmm, if the content was by RSS feed, just include the articles, maybe some of the content. "What's that monkey doll in the corner with duct-tape over the mouth?" "That's Trip-Master..."

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One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Real Ads by wooferhound · 2005-12-26 14:32 · Score: 2, Insightful

Not to mention the fact that it needs Real Player to view it.
this makes it an advertisment playing an advertisment.

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We are Dead Stars looking back Up at the Sky
Re:I love Slashdot by dangitman · 2005-12-26 15:05 · Score: 1

Watching a quick commercial is a fair trade for being able to see the interview for free, and for the bandwidth it took to let me see that video for free.
This is all advertising. It's not like the content of the video was informative or useful. They are supposed to be trying to entice you to buy a product. It should cost them money. I have to pay for the bandwidth to receive the advertisement. Why should the advertisement have another advertisement embedded in it to pay for the main advertisement?
Of course, the bigger issue here is slashdot. The acticle said that it was a FUNNY video, which it was definitely not. I would normally never click on such a link, but because the author gave his/her approval, I decided to watch it. But it was not funny in the least. It doesn't feel very good to be tricked into watching advertising by a site that is supposed to contain news.
I didn't believe it at first, but this confirms to me that slashdot is paid to run advertisements disguised as news articles.

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... and then they built the supercollider.
Annoying dolls by photokevin · 2005-12-26 16:15 · Score: 1

I don't need an annoying toy, I already have a computer.
I see a good use for this toy... by Pyrion · 2005-12-26 16:16 · Score: 1

Use it to teach kids and young adults just how ridiculous a notion the socialist welfare state really is.

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"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge." - Bertrand Russell.
Re:Ads by Stalks · 2005-12-26 16:19 · Score: 2, Informative

Why not grab the free alternative to Real Player? It works in WMC, and also has a firefox/opera/ie plugin to work seemlessly as if it were the real Real Player.
I just downloaded it and I'm really pleased =]
Re:Ads by Stalks · 2005-12-26 16:22 · Score: 1

Forgot to mention the url, http://www.codecguide.com/about_real.htm
Re:I love Slashdot by Kent+Recal · 2005-12-26 18:11 · Score: 1

Why should the advertisement have another advertisement embedded in it to pay for the main advertisement?

Sorry, my friend. To understand recursion you must first understand recursion.
Did you watch the video? by merlin_jim · 2005-12-26 18:16 · Score: 1

The lady turns off her needie pointedly halfway through to indicate she's ready to give him an interview.

He keeps the thing in his lap for the whole interview and talks over it. You can't actually hear him talking in response to her in depth questions cause every time she finishes talking, he shifts a little and the damn thing goes off again...

If they want to sell these things they need to learn a few interview skills... like taking cues from your interviewer...

--
I am disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious?!
wireless BROTHERS... by shummer_mc · 2005-12-26 22:32 · Score: 1

as in "BIG BROTHER." I had a friend who did an R&D project for DARPA...

It had something to do with 'impromptu wireless networking' bots that could be deployed to do some surveillance type stuff. There was lots of redundancy checking, distributed computing, etc. It was pretty cool, but under-funded.

BTW... no, I didn't RTFA. Some of these articles just aren't worth it. So, if I got the wrong idea, just let me enjoy retaining 80% of my body heat because of my tin-foil hat. It's cold outside and my gas [heat] bill was WAY too much this month.
Between the wife and the cat... by StressGuy · 2005-12-27 02:15 · Score: 1

I think I'm covered in this area, thanks anyways.

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A goal is a dream with a deadline