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Trustworthy Computing

Anonymous Coward writes "This is a first: the Internet Storm Center is recommending trustworthy computing. They want you to trust that the unofficial patch for the Windows Metafile Volunerability that is currently being exploited by an IM worm. No patch from Microsoft at this time, and the exploit is arranged in such a manner that it cannot be detected by most intrusion detection systems (the snort rule will peg the CPU on your router) nor filtered by packet-inspecting firewalls (it spans two or more ethernet frames). Not really a whole lot of choice about this one."

14 of 465 comments (clear)

  1. Shame by Jonnty · · Score: 5, Funny

    It'd be nice to have a computer that I can use the patch on.. Maybe I can Wine it?

    --
    Any grammatical or spelling errors above are for comic effect, and do not signify imperfection in the writer.
    1. Re:Shame by Grey+Ninja · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, when I heard about that WMF security vulnerability, I was up half the night trying to get it working in Wine, so that I could have the genuine Windows experience. But to no avail. It just didn't work. Maybe this patch will fix that?

    2. Re:Shame by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      If you were up half the night, then you already got one of the experience.

  2. Haha! by Trip+Ericson · · Score: 3, Funny

    Saturday's word was "transferbangle." Today's word is "volunerability." I wonder what tomorrow's word will be!

  3. Re:Shows how much MS cares for its customers. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    How many late nights, allnighters, and missed holidays have you experienced, thanks to things like ILOVEYOU and Slammer? How many times have you had to clean up the mess created by Microsoft's shitty, unsecure software?

    None. I've had plenty of all-nighters, late nights and missed holidays because of Linux though.

  4. Talking of 'Trustworthy Computing' by peterpi · · Score: 3, Funny

    I love the way the story starts 'Anonymous Coward writes', with an email address link to the author.

  5. o.O by xx_toran_xx · · Score: 4, Funny

    They want you to trust that the unofficial patch for the Windows Metafile Volunerability that is currently being exploited by an IM worm.

    OK, tell me how that sentence is supposed to make sense. Come on :|.

    --
    Arrrrrrr
  6. Re:Shows how much MS cares for its customers. by A+beautiful+mind · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah, but not everyone can be you, Linus...

    --
    It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
    Be yourself no matter what they say
  7. Re:What's wrong with... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    you... actually... _READ_ the article?!!!

    *faints*

  8. This Is Incomprehensible! by TexVex · · Score: 4, Funny
    Anonymous Coward writes
    Writes? Wouldn't a high school English teacher send this back with a little markup and a big fat red "F" on it?
    "This is a first: the Internet Storm Center is recommending trustworthy computing.
    I think this is the one valid sentence in this whole summary!
    They want you to trust that the unofficial patch for the Windows Metafile Volunerability that is currently being exploited by an IM worm.
    Obviously one instance of "that" is an extra. But which? Remove one, it means one thing; remove the other, it means something different.
    No patch from Microsoft at this time,
    Fragment (consider revising).
    and the exploit is arranged in such a manner that it cannot be detected by most intrusion detection systems
    Flowers and furniture are arranged. Music is arranged. Why the hell is the bolded phrase even in there? Try "the exploit cannot be detected by most modern intrusion detection systems" on for size. That edit gets rid of the passive voice and that meaningless phrase all at once!
    (the snort rule will peg the CPU on your router)
    I guess somebody's snorting something. What the hell does this mean?
    nor filtered by packet-inspecting firewalls (it spans two or more ethernet frames).
    Ooh, somebody just loves the parentheses! Why not kill them and insert ", since" after "firewalls"?
    Not really a whole lot of choice about this one.
    Fragment (consider revising).

    I don't know who's more of an idiot -- the submitter or the "editor" who accepted this turd of an article summary.
    --
    Fun with Anagarams! LADS HOST, SHALT DOS. HAS DOLTS. AD SLOTHS, HATS SOLD. ASS HO, LTD.
  9. WTF... Cannot parse by hikerhat · · Score: 1, Funny
    They want you to trust that the unofficial patch for the Windows Metafile Volunerability that is currently being exploited by an IM worm.

    I think I know english pretty good. And my brain filters out even the worst spelling errors such that I know what they mean when they say 'Volunerability'. But I really can't make heads or tails of this 'sentence', if you can call it that. WTF does this mean?

  10. I do trust Microsoft... by eyepeepackets · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...to do what they do best. Which is why I use a different OS and suggest others do so as well.

    What does Microsoft do best? Why, get the money out of the pockets of suckers, of course.

    Suckers.

    Cheers!

    --
    Everything in the Universe sucks: It's the law!
  11. Ahhhh! by gQuigs · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've removed:
    ActiveX for streaming video
    AOL ART Image Format Support
    Intel Indeo codecs
    Media Center
    MIDI audio support
    Movie Maker
    Old CDPlayer and Sound Recorder
    Speech Support
    Windows Media Player
    Windows Media Player 6.4
    Client for Netware Networks
    FrontPage Extensions
    Internet Connection Wizard
    Internet Explorer
    Internet Explorer Core
    IP Conferencing
    MSN Explorer
    Netmeeting
    Outlook Express
    Vector Graphics Rendering (VML)
    Windows Messenger
    Desktop Cleanup Wizard
    Framework
    Help
    Out of Box Experience (OOBE)
    Shell Media Handler
    Tour
    Web View
    Zip Folders
    Fax Services
    Imapi
    Indexing Service
    System Restore
    (nliteos.com)
    AND I AM STILL VULNERABLE!???

    Perhaps I should switch to linux :) |scroll lock||scroll lock| (KVM)

  12. There is an official fix available! by Admiral+Burrito · · Score: 2, Funny

    In an interview with an anonymous MiroScoft employee, it has been reported that MS has found a working fix!

    "We've all turned off our computers, and are sitting on our hands. This has effectively blocked all intrusion attempts."

    When asked when the fix would be distributed, he replied:

    "Once the threat has passed, it will be safe for us to turn our computers back on and email everyone with instructions for turning their computers off and sitting on their hands. Until that time comes, we're asking everyone to be patient."