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Bloodrayne Officially Awful
Uwe Boll's latest attempt to kill the future of gaming movies is officially terrible, reports Next Generation. From the article: "Filmjerk: 'In his mind, [Boll] is Steven Spielberg; arranging danger and adventure on the screen with clarity and a roaring sense of excitement. However, the tragic reality is that Boll has all the artistic ability of the average 4th grade finger-painter.'" Update: 01/09 21:33 GMT by Z : 1up has a short and telling interview with Mr. Boll from this past weekend.
Boll: 1) v. To render unviewable "He really Boll'ed that film" 2) adj. In reference to a sight too horrible to look at "That image is just Boll!"
I Lost My Virginity While Waiting for BSD to Compile.
How is that you think that this movie is so bad? It is at #37 place in this all time imdb chart!
Uh? What do you mean with "bottom"?
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We gave the Germans David Hasselhoff, they gave us Uwe Boll.
Don't blame me, I voted for Cthulhu.
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A movie review worth reading because it's more entertaining than the movie itself...
http://www.bigempire.com/filthy/bloodrayne.html
"Bloodrayne sucks goat tits. It sucks shit and smelly ass. It sucks the husks off corn, the foreskin off dicks, the shit off the submissive in a Dirty Sanchez. It sucks harder and more sloppily than a Bennigan's waitress on her lunch break, but costs slightly less. It is, however, better than Alone in the Dark. That's not to say it's good, it's just that it's like getting a staph infection below the knee instead of the entire leg."
"For the actors, appearing in a Uwe Boll is a declaration that they act for money and have costly addictions that must be fed. It also declares that they have less self-respect than a Tri-Delt. It's like falling on a spiral of shame and bumping your head on every step all the way down to the bottom."
"Bloodrayne is pure shit. So pure that if people shot up shit instead of heroin this would be a million bucks a kilo. But they don't, and turds should have a warning labels before anyone tries."
You know, one day he's not going to hold back.
Then why haven't we seen a honest to goodness feature length Springtime For Hitler?