Slashdot Mirror
Pluto Probe Launches
Artem S. Tashkinov writes "The US space agency, Nasa, has successfully launched its New Horizons mission to Pluto. The $700m probe will gather information on Pluto and its moons before - it is hoped - pressing on to explore other objects in the outer Solar System. Pluto is the only remaining planet that has never been visited by a spacecraft."
And I bet you won't either. Does that still hurt?
mod down anyone who makes quips about exploring uranus!!!
We've already done a probe of Uranus?
What was it like!?!?!
"Probe launched to Uranus" - that is funny.
Sorry could not help it.
Only 9 hours? Is that a slashdot record...?
;)
We'll get the dupe in 12 months....
dnuof eruc rof aixelsid
Would that be the Xena warrier princess? 'Cause she's hot and I want to fuck her. Too bad she's lesbo... :(
(you know, I spent seventeen obnoxious minutes trying to post this as AC. Sheesh! Do I really need to find a proxy!?! I'm just a casual user!!!)
I would call myself recently accepting of fission power - within the last few years. But only because I believe the alternative of social collapse due to energy scarcity is worse than the potential for a nuclear accident. I still think a nuclear accident is likely and might be devastating across a fairly large population. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Fission seems the most optimistic answer within a generation or two, but we need a fallback. Of course, this is in addition to wind, PV/ thermal solar, geothermal, biomass, political hot air -- whatever.
It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The father and son sit side-by-side on a sofa, their pants down to their ankles. They begin jerking off.
The dad's wanger is wrinkled and veiny, and slightly bent to the left, but it's obvious he's a veteran at monorail hitchhiking and within a matter of seconds he's tending bar like a horny marine.
The son is a little anxious at first, with a smooth, rubbery hose that seems to wag for a moment before gaining firmness. Soon the kid is teasing the cobra like a champ.
The women begin taking out a series of pictures... photos, polaroids, magazine clip-outs. "For our first amazing feat," shouts the mom, "Penny Marshall!"
The mom displays a current photo of "Laverne" to the guys. Their eyes betray a sudden distracted focus, but they both stay rock solid and are able to keep wrestling sausage with no problem.
The daughter yells, "Judge Judy!" She whips into view a photo. The guys' eyebrows arch in a sudden "uh-oh," and they begin swatting salami faster and harder just to keep their rhythm going.
"Oprah!" cries the mom. Up comes a cover of "O" magazine. The son visably begins to show some trouble with this. He doubles up at the stomach to focus, and pounds like a madman. The dad displays a little bravado with a lifted eyebrow, his focus clearly unchallenged.
"Rosie O'Donnell!!!" yells the daughter. Just the mention of the name has an erosive effect on both jackers! Their teeth clench in concentration! The girl pops up a photo. The boy begins beating his pelvis blue, but not from anything resembling arousal. "Oh god kill me now," he mutters as blotches of black internal hemmorage begin to surface around his crotch. But he keeps fisting like a driven lunatic!
The sound of smacking groin is deafening now as both jackists go for broke.
"Brittany Spears--2005!" The mom whips out a laser print-out from an internet photo. The son loses control and goes Dahmer on his william--he pulls it into twisted taffy and screams in horror as it quickly begins to shrink. The father actually gains thickness and starts to hammer himself. His hackysack draws up into two bound tennis balls. "Yeeeaahhh" he yells and makes his German soldier march.
"Barbara Bush!" yells the mom, holding up a a cover of McCall's magazine. That evens the score as dad becomes the incredible shrinking manmeat. Soon both dad and son are waxing yarn, the rubbery dickheads alone preventing their fists from slipping off into space.
The mom brings out one final photo. The son sees it and immediately grimaces. He stops jacking, pulls up his pants and storms out in frustration. Dad sees the photo and suddenly he is as hard as a crowbar poking up out of jello!! His tool turns purple and fattens like a python consuming its prey--his veins bulge as his dickhead swells to the appearance of a ripe plum on the end of a baby's arm!
The dad sighs heavily, whimpering breaths of "yeah," and "oh god, yes, baby... do it to me lover" He begins pounding like Judge Wapner trying to control a courtroom full of welfare mothers. Exquisite torture. Breathless revelry. His arm tightens in muscle fatigue but he keeps on, pounding, socking, pile-driving his choda--his ass eats a cloth-ripping hole in the sofa beneath him. Finally in a heart-stopping convulsion he pumps blast after gooey blast of steaming spunk all over the two women, the agent, the desk, the entire office.
After his cum is drained as if by the bucketfull, he sinks into the couch a defeated lump of quivering flesh, looking almost no longer human, but with a grotesque smile of satisfied bliss etched permanently across his face.
The mom tosses the photo to the floor, almost too casually. It's Carrot Top.
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
In 2015, the probe will awaken the giant mysterious creatures known as Angels. Earth will be attacked and our only chance will rest in the fighting ability of towering mechas which runs on Linux called Penguingelion operated by young obnoxious geeks who've been raised on slashdot after the devestation of the dot-com bubble. Naturally, all the action will occur somewhere in the US or at least the western hemisphere. (Tokyo? pft! Lord knows how jealous Hollywood can get.) Linus Torvald, the brilliant father of GNU/Linux operating system, is the sensitive, emotionally dependent ex-lover of ********, who heads up SCO, the only truly effective organized defense effort of Earth against the Angels. As we join the story in progress, A frantic effort is underway to recompile the latest kernel and boot up the Penguingelions in a race to beat the imminent arival of the latest Angel......
Stay sentient. Don't drink bad milk.