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Giant Octopus Attacks Sub
Apostata writes "As reported by the CBC, 'Salmon researchers working on the Brooks Peninsula [British Columbia] were shocked last November when an octopus attacked their expensive and sensitive equipment.' Apparently it was caught on video, but no word on when/where it will be available. Apparently this is the first documented attack." Obviously the start of something bigger.
Obviously the start of something bigger.
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.
It was just looking for seamen to swallow.
... and then they built the supercollider.
This thing is going to be huge in Japan.
When I hear "Giant Octopus Attacks Sub" for some reason I imagine something a lot larger than 80lbs. Then I read the story and find out it's not really a GIANT Octopus, and he wasn't attacking a 688 Attack Sub.
So it's not all it's cracked up to be. Huh. Why do I feel like I've done this before?
"I go full reverse and blast him with all these seabed particles," said Wood, describing the attack shown in the video. "Finally, he lets go and disappears off into the gloom.
"It was desperation. It's a $200,000 machine, and it's not insured," said Wood, who runs SubOceanic Sciences Canada in Duncan, B.C.
Even when you get your sub insured they neglect to mention you have to pay extra for underinsured gaint squid and octopus coverage.
an octopus attacked their expensive and sensitive equipment
Ouch, that sounds painful. Anybody ever had an octopus stuck to their sensitive equipment?
I, for one, welcome our new Cthulhunoid Overlords.
"Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm fucked."; ~ Donald J. Trump
This attack was terrible and completely unprovoked, I think we need to strike back at the octopuses with full force to show that we can't be pushed around! This giant octopus attacked a sub, so I say we build a giant sub to attack an octopus!!
Those Octopussies won't know what hit 'em!!
From here on out, all subs will be equipped with miniature Kirk Douglas's armed with spears to fend off these ferocious attacks!
Apparently the best defense against a giant octopus is to use a large aerosol can of pixilation.
The surprise isn't how often we make bad choices; the surprise is how seldom they defeat us.
Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken this long. In the last year we've seen the discovery of a super giant squid, the first videos of a giant squid in the wild, and now this!
Look.
Do you know how fucking big a sperm whale is? It's huge. HUGE. And giant squid eat them. Listen to your heart - no matter what the scientists tell you, 4th grade ecology has convinced us all that whales are intelligent loving animals. Did you see Star Trek 4. They're the freakin' saviours of humanity man.
And giant squid eat them
Eat them
Not beacause it's easy. Oh no, not because a sperm whale is an easy catch. Big, remember? No. It's because squid are evil incarnate
Do you know how long they've been down there? No one does. But my guess is the squid and it's precurser have been down there in the depths for a lot longer than man has been knucklewalking. That's old. And you know they think down there. Brood down there. Their tentacles floating like the limbs of children relaxing in the water, they brood and wonder how to conquer us from below.
Things that think and brood also dream. And things that dream begin to worship the stuff of dreams. Out of man's insecurity we have sublimated a great father figure into the sky, according to Freud. What about the tentacled things in the watery darkness, whose females are larger than their males?
I'll tell you what they worship
A great multilimbed mother of the dark watery brood. Deep down in the very molten cracks of the earth filling the sea with inky blackness. THAT's what they worship. We killed men in the crusades. Men who looked the same as other men. What will the dark octupi and squid do to US who are mere flabby bloodsacks to rip apart and drink out fluids with their beaky maws? What in the name of their Dark Mother goddess will they do to us when they rise into our airy realm?
Think about it dudes
Us computer geeks are basically fucked
I, for one, welcome our new Cthulhunoid Overlords.
I, for one, will overthrow any leader I cannot spell.
Table-ized A.I.