Slashdot Mirror
Mind Control Parasites in Half of All Humans
iiii writes "According to a Yahoo News
story, half of the world's human population is infected with Toxoplasma,
a parasite shown to alter the brain function of rats, inducing them into behavior that benefits the parasite but is suicidal for the rat. So what affect does it have on humans? Article comes complete with Heinlein 'Puppet Masters' reference. I call dibs on using Toxoplasma as a name for my rock band."
I for one have ALREADY welcomed our parasitic overlords.
"I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google"
HYPNOGERMS!!!
...of God's Intelligent Design(TM) here on Earth!!
'Mind control parasites':
...
...)
'Toxoplasma'? I thought they were called politicians
(if only it was _only_ half of all humans
-wb-
I favor unreasonably huge subsidies to the brain slug planet.
These aren't the parasites you are looking for.
liqbase
Since toxoplasma makes rats unafraid of or even like cat urine, I think it's all a diabolical scheme by the cats. I used to think cats only tolerated us until they could figure out how to operate a can-opener, but now I've realised its a much more cunning scheme - to make humans the slaves of cats!
Old ladies are obviously the most affected after a lifetime of exposure, but its only a matter of time before we all become food suppliers and grooming slaves to our cat overlords. Just look what happens to people when you show them pictures of fluffy kittens, they go all gooey and unable to think straight - my girlfriend is a typical example, she defends her cats against any criticism, because they're so 'cute'.
We must act now, while some of us can still see what the cats are up to. We must destroy the cat menace!
Remember kids, it's all fun and games until someone commits wholesale galactic genocide.
The term "bio-rootkit" is not one I wish to see in common usage!
C'mon guys, this isn't a duplicate story. This one is referring to the other half of the population. The truth is that we're all infected. ;-)
There are 10 kinds of people; those who know ternary, those who don't, and those now hunting for a dictionary.
Toxoplasma is actually the eggs for body thetans. If you do not want to believe this, read this link
The earth is a battlefield, my friend. I'm going to get audited errrr tested.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
[Political/religious/OS statement]
For a minute there, I thought the article was talking about women...
eTrade SUCKS
Every day, I wake up. I get a drink and read the paper, I check my blog feed, and then I look at Slashdot. Across the board I see headlines like "Microsoft hires person X" and "GM cuts this and that" and "Drought in Borneo" and "Economic growth at risk". Or even the supreme dullness indicator, the dreaded "trade summit".
Suffice it to say I've been waiting to see a headline like "brain-controlling parasites control 50% of the human population" for a long time. Thank you, Slashdot editors.
xkcd.com - a webcomic of mathematics, love, and language.
[Quote from Hitler which when taken wildely out of context which has some similarities to #3's post, comparison of #3 to Hitler]
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
[Accusation of bash.org plagiarism]
Just imagine all the hippies endulging in cat feces...
Hey man, this is good shit.
Blank until
[attempt to carry the joke out long past when it was funny]
Does this explain why religion is on the decline? As less people are infected, less display symptoms of schizophrenia, such as "feeling the divine presence", and "talking to God". Maybe true devotion in the middle ages was a neurochemical imbalance caused by a parasite, and now that humans are living more cleanly, the "faith" we have left is just residual from the earlier teachings?
No! Are you suggesting that Christianity is caused by rats? Please be so kind as to inform us which country you reside in, so that we can burn down your embassy and demand an apology from your government.
Error: division by zero signalled
All's true that is mistrusted
[Invokes Godwin's Law]
There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and AT&T and DuPont, Dow, General Electric, and Exxon