Slashdot Mirror
We Don't Need No Stinkin' Broadband
Ant writes "eMarketer has an article on The Yankee Group's analysis on why some Americans aren't feeling the broadband love. It was based on Ipsos Public Affairs. 45% of Americans say it's simply too expensive. 30% say that they just don't want it. 14% say they feel dial-up is adequate for their needs. Less than 10% are not able to get broadband access in their area. Five percent insist broadband is "too complicated". Another 5% aren't even sure why they don't have it..."
29% of broadband users needed to refresh Slashdot more rapidly so that they could obtain a first post.
14.4k was for the rich, and we were lucky enough to even own a computer! Harrumph, these techie-wizbang whipper snappers...downloading everything in sight, always wanting things FASTER and FASTER!. Harrumph I say.
Old people.......have mod points too. Good luck.
Table-ized A.I.
The reason for the lackluster demand is that animated gifs make perfectly good porn. Most porn is just back and forth movements of the same kind over and over. Animated gifs can repeat the same 10 frames over and over for the same effect. What is needed is to transform people into a species that has more varied sexual movements, such as figure 8's that morph into W's, etc. Butterflies have the right idea; they do it in the air in a frenzied dizzy kind of sky dance (although JavaScript may be able to mimic this without lots of frames). As usual, the real problem is the damned humans. Until the marketing department figures this out, they will continue to drive Honda Civics.
Table-ized A.I.
Th scrt to usng dlup efctvly is to skp lttrs. Tngs ld fstr whn u skp lttrs.
Table-ized A.I.
Old people...
Maybe they don't want to pay $25.00 a month (Plus the FUSF fee, plus the taxes at $49.99/month, plus some sales tax for some equipment which you never used) to have the ability to browse an Internet full of advertisements.
Back in my day, a cup of coffee cost $0.50. Now it costs $2.50 at Starbucks and they burn the fucking beans. $2.50 for burnt coffee? And you get the pleasure of standing in line for 10 minutes, because all of the other coffee shops shut down.
"It's burnt coffee at Starbucks, let's be honest about it. If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you call a cop. You say, "It's the bottom of the pot. I don't drink from the bottom of the pot. But when it's burnt at Starbucks, they say, "Oh, it's a blend. It's a blend." It's a special bean from Argentina....."
94% of Repubs and 21% of Dems voted to renew the Patriot Act
Repeat, 2 years in the making.
Also: I don't know what all the bitching is about (from the old story): Even President Bush jumped into the fray last month, calling for affordable, universal high-speed access by 2007.
I mean he *CALLED* for it people, and it's just one year away.
TK
Or to put it another way: you get addicted to the porn.
How we know is more important than what we know.
Sites that work just fine at 56K:
* Google
* eBay
* Slashdot
* Fandango (movie tickets)
* FedEx
* Digi-Key
* Craigslist
* Yahoo
Only 8 sites? No wonder so many people are switching to broadband.
I'll probably be modded down for this...
45% of Americans say it's simply too expensive.
30% say that they just don't want it.
14% say they feel dial-up is adequate for their needs.
10% are not able to get broadband access in their area.
05% percent insist broadband is "too complicated".
05% aren't even sure why they don't have it..."
===
109% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Anagram("United States of America") == "Dine out, taste a Mac, fries"
The killer app is the same as it is always has been since the invention of the internet.
Pornography.