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We Don't Need No Stinkin' Broadband

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the luddite-and-lovin'-it dept.

Ant writes "eMarketer has an article on The Yankee Group's analysis on why some Americans aren't feeling the broadband love. It was based on Ipsos Public Affairs. 45% of Americans say it's simply too expensive. 30% say that they just don't want it. 14% say they feel dial-up is adequate for their needs. Less than 10% are not able to get broadband access in their area. Five percent insist broadband is "too complicated". Another 5% aren't even sure why they don't have it..."

10 of 572 comments (clear)

  1. Broadband by Psychor · · Score: 5, Funny

    29% of broadband users needed to refresh Slashdot more rapidly so that they could obtain a first post.

  2. Why, back in my day! by Bananatree3 · · Score: 5, Funny

    14.4k was for the rich, and we were lucky enough to even own a computer! Harrumph, these techie-wizbang whipper snappers...downloading everything in sight, always wanting things FASTER and FASTER!. Harrumph I say.

    1. Re:Why, back in my day! by plaxion · · Score: 4, Funny

      pffft! In my day 1200 baud modems were for the rich, 300 baud Hayes were for the upper middle class and the rest of us tapped out binary on tins cans that were strung together. The original PPP (Peasant to Peasant Protocol) specification used to be one tap for 1 and no taps for 0, but after the great flame war that ensued when Timmy mistook Dan's message as being a derogitory comment about his sister, PPPv2 was developed and one tap meant 0 and a quick double tap meant 1. Fortunately for us, it was only a software upgrade as Cambell's coupons were scare back then.

  3. Re:30% by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny


    Old people.......have mod points too. Good luck.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  4. Animated Gifs and Porn by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    The reason for the lackluster demand is that animated gifs make perfectly good porn. Most porn is just back and forth movements of the same kind over and over. Animated gifs can repeat the same 10 frames over and over for the same effect. What is needed is to transform people into a species that has more varied sexual movements, such as figure 8's that morph into W's, etc. Butterflies have the right idea; they do it in the air in a frenzied dizzy kind of sky dance (although JavaScript may be able to mimic this without lots of frames). As usual, the real problem is the damned humans. Until the marketing department figures this out, they will continue to drive Honda Civics.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  5. Re:dial up really isn't that bad by Tablizer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Th scrt to usng dlup efctvly is to skp lttrs. Tngs ld fstr whn u skp lttrs.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  6. Re:The biggest danger of broadband by QuantumG · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or to put it another way: you get addicted to the porn.

    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
  7. Re:56Kb/s isn't that bad if ads are blocked by MarkByers · · Score: 4, Funny


    Sites that work just fine at 56K:

            * Google
            * eBay
            * Slashdot
            * Fandango (movie tickets)
            * FedEx
            * Digi-Key
            * Craigslist
            * Yahoo


    Only 8 sites? No wonder so many people are switching to broadband.

    --
    I'll probably be modded down for this...
  8. Conclusions: by Vo0k · · Score: 4, Funny

    45% of Americans say it's simply too expensive.
    30% say that they just don't want it.
    14% say they feel dial-up is adequate for their needs.
    10% are not able to get broadband access in their area.
    05% percent insist broadband is "too complicated".
    05% aren't even sure why they don't have it..."
    ===
    109% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

    --
    Anagram("United States of America") == "Dine out, taste a Mac, fries"
  9. Re:The inevitable killer app comment by matt21811 · · Score: 5, Funny

    The killer app is the same as it is always has been since the invention of the internet.

    Pornography.