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Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed

mrogers writes "New Scientist Space is reporting that the health effects of microgravity can be reproduced by staying in bed. Inclining the bed at an angle of 6 degrees with the head at the lower end produces bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise similar to those produced by prolonged spaceflight. (Valeri Polyakov was not available for comment at the time of going to press.)"

15 of 132 comments (clear)

  1. Proper Analogy? by JDSalinger · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is this like analogizing dreaming to taking hallucinogens? If so, this is like telling Slashdotters "Want to Experience Sex? Stay in Bed and touch yourself." Obviously, an insufficient "Experience". I suspect the same of the Stay in Bed "Experience". Someone try this and get back to us. -C

  2. Another option by Mattygfunk1 · · Score: 2, Funny
    Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed

    Yeah maybe, but I suspect most of us would be far better served by experiencing improved health at our local sports club, and the social benefits are much better too.

  3. Hmmm sounds like an excuse to me by liliafan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sounds to me like some scientist didn't feel like going into work one day and called in with "Hi boss I can't come in today I am researching the effects of staying in bed and comparing them to the effects of zero gravity", finally someone actually came up with a way to get a grant to just stay in bed......lucky bastard.

    *disclaimer: I read the article this is a joke.

    --
    GeekServ Unix Consulting Services (http://www.geekserv.com)
  4. Amazing! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tried this out a while ago. The results were truly amazing. I found that I was no longer required to obey the laws of gravity. I simply floated wherever I wanted to go.

  5. Define 'available'. by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny

    > Valeri Polyakov was not available for comment at the time of going to press.

    Actually he was available, but too weak to type a reply to the questions...

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  6. As a student... by DarthChris · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is MY kind of science!

    --
    Don't you just hate it when people reply to your signature?
  7. Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed and... by digitaldc · · Score: 2, Funny

    Dream on, buddy!

    --
    He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
  8. Even better idea! by physicsphairy · · Score: 4, Funny
    Swallow a timed explosive charge, and then with the proper inclination of sleep you can experience all the effects of being in a zero-G and zero-pressure spacelike environment!

    Who's got my grant money?

  9. The same effect can be had... by Billosaur · · Score: 2, Funny
    Inclining the bed at an angle of 6 degrees with the head at the lower end produces bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise similar to those produced by prolonged spaceflight.

    Similar results can be obtained by sitting in front of your computer and playing World of Warcraft every day for 16 hours. Remember, your results may vary.

    --
    GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
  10. Or alternately... by GillBates0 · · Score: 3, Funny
    produces bone and muscle loss, decreases in cardiovascular activity, and reduced capacity to exercise similar to those produced by prolonged spaceflight

    ...we could continue our couch potato lifestyles and daily beer drinking rituals to achieve the same effect.

    "No, honey, I'm not being lazy, I'm just trying to experience the effects of microgravity".

    --
    An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
  11. Groan. by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 4, Funny

    Want to Experience Zero G? Stay in Bed

    I just want to stay in bed, isn't that enough? Keep your science out of my laziness.

  12. Re:The obvious question by TWX · · Score: 2, Funny
    Probably explains why the Minbari in Babylon 5 were so much stronger, their beds were slanted with their head higher than their feet. Their explanation was that only the dead lie flat, but perhaps they were simply misleading the humans?
    Really? I thought it was just because JMS wasn't good at the details when writing science fiction and that he picked a bad way to make the Minbari different and used a rather pathetic excuse to justify it...

    And I actually like Babylon 5...
    --
    Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
  13. I just tried this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tilted my bed 6 degrees, but now I keep rolling out. I experience zero-g for a few microseconds before hitting the floor.

    Maybe I need to tilt it the other direction. At least that way my wife will cushion the fall.

  14. Re:The obvious question by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 2, Funny

    Worst nights' sleep I've ever gotten, I constantly felt like I was falling

    Wait, isn't that zero-G?

  15. Re:Space trip for masochists? by kennygraham · · Score: 2, Funny
    It's like selling drugs that get you addicted, give you withdrawal but no high.

    My girlfriend smokes 2 packs of those a day.