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Diebold Threatens Wary Voting Clerk
An anonymous reader writes "From the Salt Lake Tribune: a wary county clerk called in BlackBoxVoting.org to test the integrity of Diebold voting fraud machines, part of a recent $27 million statewide purchase (to make sure that only the "Right" candidates win). Diebold goon says machines are now jinxed and it may cost up to $40,000 to fly in a company witch-doctor to make sure there were no warranty violations. Since EVERY SINGLE VOTER who uses these machines is a potential hacker looking to alter election results, why is Diebold so concerned? "
Because if every single voter gets to hack the election results, then it's be a fair election. Duh!
January 20, 2009: President Stallman took the oath of office today, after the GNU/ESR ticket (GNU's Not United-states!) narrowly beat the Gates/Ballmer team campaign in an election that stunned the ruling Demopublican coalition...
I guess I forgot to run them through Babelfish a few times?
I think need to editorialize in the form of a righteously indignant rant overtook the poster and short-circuited his brain.
Next time, maybe he should try just pasting the first paragraph of the article like everyone else does.
No, it isn't just you... the guy sounded like he was the Dukakis campaign manager.
FanFictionRecs.net
In other news, Diebold President Dewey Cheatum stated that $40,000 to "reload the voting pattern" was perfectly reasonable. "It's why it's called 'buying elections'," he said to a group of startled reporters, "if it was free, anybody could do it." When asked whether Diebold would consider printing receipts for each vote so that there would be some sort of paper trail Mr. Cheatum replied, "Heck, why we don't just go one step further: skip the whole going out to the polls, and we'll just mail people a notice telling them who they voted for." At this point in the interview, Mr Cheatum began responding to all questions with vigorous wedgies and obscene gestures.
Are you even suppose to be submitting stories? Where's Zonk? Is Zonk on the phone? Get him in here....
I just picture Taco in a bathrobe and slippers shuffling into "Slashdot Central" when Zonk and the others are out of the room and sitting down and submitting articles until they come back in, slap his hand and lead him back to his room to up his medications.
Put down the submit key! PUT IT DOWN!
"Leo Fender was in a 'state of grace' when he designed the Stratocaster." -- Paul Reed Smith
The editors are just trying to get us to actually RTFA. Did it work for you?
Is...that dry?
I mean, don't crabs live underwater? I suppose, technically, dead crabs don't live underwater. But they do sit there, you know, underwater.
Which is wet.
Democrats or Republicans. They are both taking us to the same place and they are not afraid of us anymore.
I think he means after they're dead. Maybe he should have added "that's not in the water after it dies" or "in a really really dry place." I agree, though. Just after it dies the reproductive tract is probably still sort of wet, from sitting in the water all the time. Or at least part of the time. I had a hermit crab once. Actually, my kid had a hermit crab. But I bought it. In fact, I bought it several times. Every time one would die, I'd go buy another one and tell him that his crab had "changed shells." Which in retrospect was an excellent chance to find out whether or not a dead crab's reproductive tract is really dry. But alas, opportunity, like a dead hermit crab, and curiously enough unlike the postman never knocks twice. Although the postman doesn't actually knock. He rings. Twice, actually. Unless you don't have a doorbell, in which case I suppose he might knock. And by knock, you have to consider that when knocking on a door you really knock more than once per "knocking event." Take "Shave-and-a-haircut...two-bits." That's seven knocks, but you're really only asking for entry once, right? So if the door didn't have a doorbell, per se, and the postman did shave-and-a-etc twice, that would be fourteen distinct knocks or seven opportunities if you count it that way. Either way, it's more knocks than you can shake a dead crab at, as I always say.
The US and UK are very different places.
:-)
Just look at one of today's headlines on CNN
As I write this, there is a video item on the front page titled:
"Electrified fanny packs shock unruly students"
I'd be surprised to see that on the BBC.
how can he possibly win?
That just depends on how good of a coder he is and how well he hid his backdoors now doesn't it?
Unless he spent all his time just rigging it once, not to be able to do it when he wanted. Maybe he put some cool eastereggs in and in 2008 Fidel Castro will win in Florida!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
The $40k is for the booze and the hookers. The techs will have to gamble with their own money, though.
The latest Slashdot meme.
No. You're confusing ballads with ballets. I've never seen anyone dance ballet to a ballad, but I'm sure it s an artisitic delight.
The original comment was:
..."
... you guessed it: where's that Fark.com tag?
"First what they do is print confusing ballads in florida to turn people against paper ballets
See, the ballads were printed in a confusing way so that the orchestra members have to keep skipping around between measures when reading the score.
The odd arrangement caused a huge amount of disconnect between the members and the result was cacophony. The audience had expected to see a "paper" ballet performance - a type of puppet stage show. Due to the noted factors, this emerging artform was met with harsh critical scorn.
Oh yeah, and all this happened in