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SPECIAL BIRTHDAY REPORT!!! HEMOS IS 30 :) :) :)
Jeff "Hemos" Bates, who you all know and love here on Slashdot, celebrated his 30th Birthday last Monday. The only way to properly celebrate would be to send him belated e-congratulations to hemos at slashdot.org. Show the love. He'd do it for you. No I'm not kidding.
Show the love. He'd do it for you. No I'm not kidding.
With this new "OMG!!! Ponies!!!" layout I'm afraid of Hemos showing me anything...
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A little early don't ya think? Apr 1 is tomorrow.
/* oops I accidentally made a comment, sorry */
They said "broader appeal". Now I understand.
$ while true; do
> mail -s "HAPPY BIRFDAY HEMUS!!!!!" hemos@slashdot.org done
Causation can cause correlation
Is slashdotting an inbox really a good idea?
"The use-mention distinction" is not "enforced here."
Um, no. Don't know him, don't love him, and I only show my "love" to the Ponies!!!
There. Fixed.
Pr0n does have strange effects on society.
If it weren't for your Firefox Extension, I'd be clawing my eyeballs out ;)
Hey, why the strange email format? Hemos email is hemos@slashdot.org . Let's write it correctly so that our friends from the spiced pork and meat front can join in with the congratulatory messages! :-)
10 print "Happy Birthday To You" 20 print "Happy Birthday To You" 30 print "Happy Birthday To You, Dear HEMOS" 40 Goto 10
May the force be with you.
hemos@slashdot.org
^
so he gets more spam
SPAM ME PLZ NOW!!!!
Hehehh.. Read the description. Taco said Hemos celebrated his birthday last Monday. Get it. He is making fun of the fact that stories usually get posted a week later and people complain about it. Perhaps though I am reading to much into it.
Ooo man the floppy drive is broken. No wait. The computer is just upside down.
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!11111one HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!! xoxoxox
Beauty is just a light switch away.
Happy BDay, and thanks for inventing the best way to kill time for geeks.
What?!? 32 comments and no jokes saying that now that he's 30[0] he can no longer be called Master Bates? DID EVERYONE ELSE IN SLASHDOT GROW UP TOO?
;)
Sheesh people..
[0] Dict entry 5 from the 1913 Websters for those without context.
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!11! HEmoS U cuTiE 4 ReAL r U rellY ThIR30? BCuz U LoOOK yungEr ReLLY :) :) *KiSS* *mWAH* i loVe uR uPDateS sPEciaLLY wHen U sAy MiCROSoft sUX beCauSe TheY sOoOoOoOoOoOo dO! oMG rEaLLY!!! bIll GaTEs is a HIdEus TRoLl oF a MaN noT a HoTTIe lIak u AND LiNuS TrIvOlDooReEs!!1! ok u HottIE hIt mE baCk nD ADD mE to uR mySPace DARlinG ;-) ;-) <3 *mWAH*
:)
HaPPY bIrthDAy HEMOS
I know this is April Fool's Day because they actually used the correct spelling of "congratulations".
I was in the process of getting my company, a Fortune 500 company in the defense sector with global operations, to switch major IT components to open source software. I had proposed that we switch our current nightmarish mix of Windows NT, 2000, XP, VMS, AIX, IIS, MSSQL, Oracle, Sybase, .Net, C++, VB, ActiveX, Java, Snobol, COBOL, Punch cards, and a giant wall of post-it notes with Linux, Apache, MySQL, and Perl.
The management was very worried about the level of support, but of course I assured them that we could do everything in-house. Then, they were worried that Linux and the "free software hippie crowd" was too unprofessional, and we would lose prestiege using their products. I had assured them that you guys were clean-cut, well-adjusted young men dedicatted to the scholarly task of Software Engineering, and was showing them around the F/OSS sites to prove my point. Everything was going well, until I came to Slashdot.
First, a wall of pink assaulted their eyes, and a collective gasp came out of the wall of grey suits in the conference room. Then the "OMG!!! Ponies!!!" tagline slowly sank in, and before I could react, they had noticed the very unprofessional line of emoticons (against Company Information Technology Policy CITP-0034A-1), and use of official sites to convey personal messages (against Company Information Technology Policy CITP-1138-THX). I panicked, and started to explain that there must be something wrong, they must have been hacked by teenage girls or something, but before I could go further, The Chairman Himself spoke up. He said, "My god, either they're a bunch of preverts an hemos-"(I think he meant homos)"-or they've been pwn3d by some little girlies!" (I'm still not sure if I heard him say 'pwn3d'-maybe I imagined it in the stress of the moment).
The Chairman then went on to explain that there was no way that our company, a respectable organization founded by, and still run by, patriotic God-fearing Anglo-Saxon males, could get mixed up with such a deviant and preverted group of people, and there was no way we could trust any software from 'men' such as these, no sir. The company's Open Source project was quietly shut down after that, and now they've even removed FireFox and gone back to "Good old-fashioned American-as-apple-pie Internet Explorer".
Now I have been fired, and sent to Guantanamo Bay for treasonous actions such as mine. I was able to smuggle a Commie 64 here up my ass, though, and my cellmate Junis from Afghanistan has been showing me how to use it to browse the web and get to Slashdot.
Dear God, my life sucks now. And it's all because of YOU, Taco!
Sincerely,
Inamate TRG-113
This same happy birthday hemos story has been reposted, what, like 30 times already. Jesus, this was old news like 7 years ago
If voting were effective, it would be illegal by now.