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Microsoft to Acquire ProClarity

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the changing-hands dept.

Gosalia writes "In order to increase its presence in the business intelligence market, Microsoft announced its plan to acquire business analytics software developer ProClarity. 'This acquisition advances our (business intelligence) strategy and our ability to deliver performance management applications to customers,' Jeff Raikes, Microsoft business division president, said in a statement."

8 of 79 comments (clear)

  1. The borg seem more appealing now... by Chordonblue · · Score: 3, Funny

    At least the Borg are honest:

    'This acquisition advances our (business intelligence) strategy and our ability to deliver performance management applications to customers,' Jeff Raikes, Microsoft business division president, said in a statement.

    Translates to: 'And.. Oh yeah, I'm going to be filthy rich!'

    --
    "...Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam..."
    1. Re:The borg seem more appealing now... by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 3, Funny

      seriously, it feels like the 80's again with all this stupid management jargon

      This is new and different! It's stupid management jargon ... on the Internet!!!

      --
      The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
    2. Re:The borg seem more appealing now... by SeeMyNuts! · · Score: 3, Funny


      There's no jargon, just a paradigm-shifting wave of common sense management tactics. In the new system, you start out as a Feng Shui White Belt and work your way up to Shabby Chic Grand Master. All you have to do to begin is attend several confidence building sessions and knowledge empowerment courses, which complement the integrated business intelligence software environment.

  2. but by caffeinemessiah · · Score: 2, Funny
    will it come with Clippy the dancing enterprise resource planner paperclip, or Fido the inventory managing wonderdog?

    seriously though, i'd be interested in seeing how they take an incredibly complex app domain (in general) and try to fit it into a typical microsoft interface template, where things like selectively averaging columns in Excel is non-trivial...

    --
    An old-timer with old-timey ideas.
  3. What Raikes really meant by daddyrief · · Score: 5, Funny

    'This acquisition advances our (buyout) strategy, and allows us to innovate quickly by bypassing the brainstorming and invention phases.'

    --
    "Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies." -Thomas Jefferson
  4. ProClarity? by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 3, Funny

    If Microsoft were to aquire some ordinary home-grade clarity, that would be enough for me.

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  5. obligatory Simpsons by seven+of+five · · Score: 3, Funny

    (goons with pocket protectors move in, rough up 'acquisition prospect').
    Bill Gates leaves, sniggering "checks? I didn't get rich writing checks!"

    hmp.... I wonder why they don't show this one anymore....

  6. "intelligence"? by slavemowgli · · Score: 3, Funny

    "business intelligence"... is that the new euphemism for "corporate espionage"?

    --
    quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.