Let Goofy Track Your Children

Rio writes "The Walt Disney Company unveiled a new wireless phone service that allows parents to track their children on a map using Global Positioning System technology, according to Local 6 News. The new "family friendly" service, called Disney Mobile, allows parents to decide who their children can call and when, the report said. The phone service will launch in June and has not been priced yet."

Comments

coming next

[caffeinemessiah]

implants based on GPRS/GPS to control where your kids go. if they leave their "safe zone", a tiny electric shock is delivered straight to their brain!! 1 year contract required.

Re:coming next

[Flower]

We have. Upon reconsideration we're increasing the voltage.

This is a great idea... for something else

[tajgenie]

I would LOVE to have a gps reciever that I can track remotely! I would put it in my car and if someone steals it, screw lojack; I'll wait till they cross the border and deliver my own brand of goofy-the-cop justice!

Good ol' Steve

[xwipeoutx]

Already innovating for his new pet company :o)

Just waiting for the rants about people should be looking after their children...not technology.

Oh great....

[DwarfGoanna]

Queue the "queue the 'why the hell can't people parent their kids anymore'" posts...er....queue.....um.. here.

not sure about this...

[zuki]

I don't know why, but reading this gives me a funny feeling that this type of technology could be easily perverted for some nasty stuff it wasn't meant for at all.

Nothing in particular, but the concept of this thing sounds a bit....twisted.

Time will tell.

Z.

Re:not sure about this...

[leereyno]

Actually I would argue that it has already been perverted.

A necessary part of being a kid is the ability to do an end-run around one's parents. This is necessary because it creates a balance of power that is very important to the development of that kid into an independent functional adult. Can you imagine how you would have turned out if your parents had actually been able to control EVERYTHING you did and experienced? Can you imagine the level of dysfunction? The disconnect from reality that would result? Just think of all the crap they tried to sell you that seems like a cold cruel joke and an insult to your intellect today. Now imagine being 30 years old and only just now realizing you've been had!

This kind of technology brings us one step closer to a world where parents really CAN make their children into vessels for their own neuroses. The only effective means of mind control is information control. Control what people see and hear and you control what they think because you control what they think about. Developments like this make me fearful for the future of our civilization. If the day ever comes when your average kid never realizes that his or her parents are full of shit, then I'm afraid we're done for.

Lee

Re:not sure about this...

[Nutria]

Can you imagine how you would have turned out if your parents had actually been able to control EVERYTHING you did and experienced?

Great argument, wrong technology.

This service (probably!) does not beam mind control rays into your head; it tracks where your child has been, and who s/he has been calling.

"Stepfordism" and Trust but verify are two totally seperate concepts.

This isn't particularly technically innovative

[rolfwind]

Since 9/11, the government has mandated that all mobile phones be able to pinpoint their location. This is simply Disney extending their capability to see where you/their phones are to you.

From http://www.infowars.com/articles/bb/parents_bosses _gps_track_cellphones.htm

A Government Mandate

In 2001, the Federal Communications Commission ordered mobile telephone carriers to add technology to handsets that pinpoint their location. The idea was to make it easier to track 911 calls.

Some carriers adopted technology that used signals from cell phone towers to determine location. Others, including national carriers Verizon Wireless, Sprint and Nextel, went with GPS.

Although Nextel is the only national carrier to offer GPS services, all new phones sold by these carriers are GPS- equipped. By the end of 2005, companies that chose GPS are supposed to have converted at least 95 percent of their subscribers to the phones, although some carriers have indicated they will ask the FCC for an extension.

Re:This isn't particularly technically innovative

[complete loony]

So the idea behind this product is: The government is tracking your kids, why don't you?

Re:This isn't particularly technically innovative

[rolfwind]

You are correct, it was around before 9/11, but the overall phases of the E911 Program have been sped up/enhanced since 9/11.

In fact, it's now under the authority of Homeland Security:

http://www.iowahomelandsecurity.org/asp/E_911/Gen_ Assembly_Rpt05.doc

The 1998 legislature passed and Governor Branstad signed into law Senate File 530 (SF530). In 2004 this law was amended by the legislature. Code of Iowa Chapter 34A provides for a statewide surcharge on wireless communications, including cellular, personal communication services, and commercial mobile radio services. The original surcharge rate was $0.50 per month per telephone number. The surcharge rate was amended in 2004 to $0.65 per month. Under this law, the Homeland Security and Emergency Management Division is given the responsibility for the "wireless" E911 program.

This will be GREAT!

[TheRealMindChild]

.... I can buy one for my daughter. While she is away for a day, just throw it into my shady islamic looking neighbors(the ones who let their dog shit in my lawn) no-windowed van. Call 911. Tell them I think I saw him take her... she has a DISNEY CELL PHONE! They find him. Mow him down without question. Everyone scratches their head in confusion. I have a shit free lawn.

The End

Re:This will be GREAT!

[YeeHaW_Jelte]

Only muslims don't generally take dogs as housepets because they're considered to be unclean -- but hell, who cares about details if they're really terrorists -- uhm, I mean muslim.

Re:This will be GREAT!

[utexaspunk]

My wife is Arab and from a Muslim family, and many of her family friends here in the States who are also Muslim keep dogs as pets. Saying "Muslims don't generally take dogs as housepets" just because certain Muslims think they're unclean is like saying "Christians don't generally drink" just because some Christians think it's sinful. You can't make blanket statements about what Muslims believe any more than you can about Christians.

In summary...

[bradbeattie]

Get the next generation comfortable with being tracked 24/7?

So I guess...

[Lord_Slepnir]

So I guess that kids will come to think of goofy as a big brother

Another false layer of security for parents that can't be bothered to actually raise thier children. All the kid has to do is to:

1. Tell parents that they'll be over at billy's house for a while
2. Parents see child over at billys house on thier GPS system.
3. Kid leaves phone on doorstep of Billy's house, proceeds to go to the overpass to drop rocks on cars.

That's the problem: its an easily defeatable system that makes it too easy to lull parents into a false sense of security.

Re:So I guess...

[Anonymous Coward]

That's why they need to be implantable.

Re:So I guess...

[QuantumG]

and if you try to remove them they explode!

Re:So I guess...

[tgrigsby]

      1. Tell parents that they'll be over at billy's house for a while
      2. Parents see child over at billys house on thier GPS system.
      3. Kid leaves phone on doorstep of Billy's house, proceeds to go to the overpass to drop rocks on cars.


4. Cops show up at door with child.
5. Child spends the next week in the bathroom trying trying to crap out my shoe.
6. Child never pulls that stunt again.
7. Child tells the story to his grandkids of the time he tried to pull a fast one on his Dad and ended up passing a size 11 Nike Field General...

Works for me.

Re:So I guess...

[MrNougat]

And without a GPS track:

      1. Tell parents that they'll be over at Billy's house for a while.
      2. Kid proceeds to go to the overpass to drop rocks on cars.

No system at all is more easily defeatable than a simple system.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say you don't have children. When parents want to use a tool to enhance the safety of their children, it's not because they can't be bothered to raise them; it's because they love them more than anything, and will try every avenue to make sure their kids are okay. Parents who can't be bothered to raise their children don't care whether the kids are dropping rocks off of overpasses or not.

For those of you keeping score at home, another way to tell when someone doesn't have kids - when the server at the restaurant puts the silverware, full adult-sized water glass and piping hot plate of food immediately in front of the two year old in the booster seat; it's safe to assume that person doesn't have children.

Okay...

[gameforge]

I assume the kid would have to want their parents to see wherver they go, otherwise they could just turn the phone off? I know I always used to tell my mom that my battery died, when she couldn't get ahold of me (and I was up to no good =])

Are there other phones with GPS capabilities? I could see a lot of useful applications for that - if they make it tiny & easy enough, it would eliminate the need for GPS receivers (obviously) - if I am in a large parking lot, at a sports event or something, it would make for a pretty easy way to meet up with friends & whatnot, if I can just get my phone to send their phone my GPS coordinates.

It would sure make losing your phone a less painful experience...

This changes the meaning of the acronym entirely.

[Anonymous Coward]

So...GPS is the "Goofy(tm) Positioning System" now?

I for one...

[B11]

Welcome our new Disney overlords.

Re:Disney Mobile phones in Iraq?

[thevoice]

IUD's? Intra Uterine Devices?

I wouldn't like to see one of them blow...

Young Jack

[rlp]

"Quick! Get the coordinates of the Bauer kid"

"Can't do it! He must have turned off the phone and removed the battery"

"Damn it!"

Re:Q: Why did Mickey split up with Minnie?

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, I believe the joke goes something like this....

Mickey & Minnie are in divorce court. The judge looks at Mickey and asks him, "You want to divorce Minnie, because she is insane?"

Mickey replies, "I never said she was insane, I said she's fucking Goofy!"

In Soviet Russia

[roman_mir]

Do children track Goofy in Soviet Russia?

Typical ignorant response.

[nobodyman]

Another false layer of security for parents that can't be bothered to actually raise thier children.

Let me guess - you aren't a parent. Perhaps this service is worthless for parents that have poor relationship with their children. But don't you think that this phone could be a valuable tool for good parents, too? How about this:

1. Billy starts walking home from bus stop
   
2. Stranger grabs Billy and forces him into The Van With No Doors and No Windows
   
3. Stranger drives off.

So, is being able to track your kid's GPS-enabled phone still worthless?

There are actually some very good arguments in favor of giving your kid a cell phone. However, there are downsides such as

• kids can easily exceed alotted minutes (usually inadvertantly).
  
• too easy to sign up for costly services (ringtones, screensavers, whatnot) by pressing 4 numbers but often very difficult to cancel/unsubscribe
  
• not as much control over who your child is talking to than the home phone
  

So, a phone w/ parental controls and GPS goes a long way to addressing these concerns. I myself would have loved this phone back when I was a kid. When I was 15, my parents were pretty lenient about what I could do so long as I a) told them where I'd be b) who I'd be with and c) prove it (usually a phone call from me to check in). Not having a cell phone made it kindof a pain sometimes. Now parents can maintain the same rules but also give their kids a greater sense of freedom.

Re:Mod those parents down!

[ultranova]

Part of the process of teaching them how to act is teaching them how to not act when you aren't around. A necessary piece of teaching them what to and not-to do is knowing what they are doing when you are not around. This phone service could help in that regard.

If you are watching them, in what way are you not around ? And what happens when they turn 18 and you can't watch them anymore ? Methinks they are going to go do all the things - sex, drugs, booze, tobacco, rock'n'roll - they think they missed out because they had to carry the all-seeing eye with them.

It's not really that difficult to track your kid..

[LittleGuy]

... it's a small world, after all.