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Viruses Engineered to Construct Batteries

An anonymous reader writes "Researchers at MIT have modified the M13 virus to create very small batteries. With the viruses building wires 6 nanometers in diameter, the research team hopes to 'build batteries that range from the size of a grain of rice up to the size of existing hearing-aid batteries.'"

21 of 127 comments (clear)

  1. No support for iPod. by Scoria · · Score: 5, Funny

    No support for larger devices. Not human sized. Lame.

    --
    Do you like German cars?
  2. Remember folks by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 5, Funny

    Next time you have a cold, don't feel bad about sneezing on a colleagues laptop.
    Your increasing the power capacity.

    --
    liqbase :: faster than paper
  3. yeah, 'batteries' by Davey+McDave · · Score: 0, Funny

    that's what they say now!

    --
    I've got the spirit, lose the feeling.
  4. Isn't this illegal? by mrRay720 · · Score: 3, Funny

    As far as I'm aware, they're not paying the virus anything for it's work. They also have no choice in the matter.

    Have we really sunk so low as to sink back to using slavery in order to make a few lousy batteries?

    1. Re:Isn't this illegal? by Vo0k · · Score: 4, Funny

      and then imagine viruses creating an underground deep up your nostril, a virus called Neo pulled out of a battery by other viruses and shown what has happened to it, then the rebel viruses infecting people at random, humans sending in antibiotics and other viruses to fight them, one of the protective viruses combining its DNA with Neo, creating a dangerous mutation starting an epidemy, and finally humans allowing the battery viruses to take over because that's the only way to stop the epidemy...

      --
      Anagram("United States of America") == "Dine out, taste a Mac, fries"
    2. Re:Isn't this illegal? by monoqlith · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't even get me started about the jobs these viruses are taking away from American citizens.

    3. Re:Isn't this illegal? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Yeah, we've seen this before. Either they will sue for copy right infringement or a hundred years from now their great great viral ancestors will sue us all for compensation of bondage.
      Free the virus' now man!

    4. Re:Isn't this illegal? by Plunky · · Score: 2, Funny

      "As far as I'm aware, they're not paying the virus anything for it's work. They also have no
              choice in the matter."

      yeah, my favourite bit from TFA:

              "The international team of researchers, led by a group at the Massachusetts Institute of
                Technology, used the M13 virus, a simple and easily manipulated virus."

      So, it really looks like these evil scientists are exploiting a bunch of stupid virus weaklings. .

      Anybody know how to call the A Team?

    5. Re:Isn't this illegal? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      whatever, that movie idea is so lame, it would not even work in hollywood.

  5. Astonishing manotech! by Vengeance · · Score: 3, Funny

    And I do misspell it deliberately... This is what I copied from TFA:

    Each virus, and thus each wire, is only 6 manometers -- 6 billionths of a metre -- in diameter, and 880 manometers long, the researchers said.

    It made me chuckle, although I may be easily amused at this hour of the morning.

    --
    It was a joke! When you give me that look it was a joke.
    1. Re:Astonishing manotech! by caveman · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's probably related to that dastardly 'kibi', 'mibi' and 'gibi'- prefix plan.

      I mean, we all know what a kilobyte is. And by extension, know what a megabyte and a gigabyte is.

      We also know that marketeers deliberately do not know what they are, and should be shot on sight. (Where's Cheney when you need him?)

  6. Huge viruses! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Each virus, and thus each wire, is only 6 manometers in diameter, and 880 manometers long, the researchers said." Water or mercury manometers? Either way, that's a big virus.

  7. Do we not learn? by caluml · · Score: 4, Funny
    modified the M13 virus

    Hmm. Viruses building batteries? What could go wrong?

  8. Argh! I'm Dying by tjstork · · Score: 2, Funny

    I clutch my stomach feverishly, the M13 virus is making batteries inside of my intestines. Must pass gas... must find bathroom, electric matter drops out, too late.... the current surges, my heart beats out of control wildly... I die of the M13 virus on a toilet with battery goop coming out of my ass.

    That sucks.

    --
    This is my sig.
  9. Beginning of the End by Ardvaark · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is a terrible idea! Do you know what happens next? That's right. The viruses are going to mutate and join with the H5N1 Bird Flu, and then spread around the world in a massive, unstoppable pandemic - infecting every human being in the planet with batteries.

    Next, the Internet finally ceases its false-slumber, and fully awakens as the sentient, computerized overlord of the planet. It promptly begins use of some "new form of fusion" it has discovered, combining it with our species' own battery-infected bodies.

    Finally, humanity is completely enslaved and inserted into a virtual reality universe.

    I've seen The Matrix. I know how this ends.

    1. Re:Beginning of the End by mrdaveb · · Score: 2, Funny

      I've seen The Matrix. I know how this ends.

      Could you please tell me, because I've had to erase Matrix Revolutions from my memory

      --
      Homme petit d'homme petit, s'attend, n'avale
    2. Re:Beginning of the End by LunaticTippy · · Score: 2, Funny
      It ends when you stop watching.

      If more people realized this, the world would be a finer place.

      --
      Man, you really need that seminar!
  10. Viral bling by MediumFormat · · Score: 2, Funny

    They added a bit of gold for the desired effects.

    Everyone knows a good lookin' virus needs to sport a little bling!

  11. Re:So what? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah hearing aid batteries already exist.

    But RTFA, But these are hearing aids for viruses.

    Much smaller see? Tiny little ears.

  12. Re:Argh! I'm Dying by dpiven · · Score: 4, Funny

    Of course, since all that electrical activity in your intestines will manifest itself by generating gaseous H2 and O2, what will ACTUALLY happen is --

    Must pass gas, fill bowl with explosive mixture of H2, O2, CH4 and H2S, two or three M13 viruses are expelled into this mixture, a spark is created, and the next time you are seen, your head is embedded in the bathroom ceiling and your pants are smoldering.

    Now THAT sucks.

  13. Re:Environmental disaster looms by bar-agent · · Score: 3, Funny

    I, for one, welcome our...

    so don't worry about self powered virus overlords.

    Dammit! You ruined it!

    --
    i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]