Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft's Security Disclosures Come Under Fire
Old Banana writes "Is Microsoft silently fixing security vulnerabilities and deliberately obfuscating details about patches in its monthly security bulletins? Matthew Murphy, a security researcher who has worked closely with the MSRC (Microsoft Security Response Center) in the past, is accusing the software maker of 'misleading' customers by not clearly spelling out exactly what is being patched in the MS06-015 bulletin released on April 11."
How would you like a birth control patch that also doubles as a nicotine patch without your knowledge? Sure you can have sex without worrying about getting pregnant, but there would be no cigarette afterwards. What MS has done is taken away the cigarette from the consumer. My Windows sex machine can "interface" all night long without getting pregnant, but it can still get STDs and won't be smoking any more afterwards.
Hello, we'd like to announce a new security patch, that's um, kind of critical. What is it? Well, let's just say when we say it, everyone said "OMFG!" and started running around like people with their hair on fire ...
... well ... it's not optional.
... um ... your security ... yeah, that's right ...
Now, we can't tell you what it is, because if we did that, you might clue in that we probably made the same mistake in pretty much all the code we rolled out to give you that latest Feature (Patent Pending), and telling you would mean that lots of script kiddies would be making your copy of Windows Vista turn into a large pr0n server that played Death Metal tunes.
So, just trust us on this one, and
P.S.: Please ignore the large backdoor we installed to scope your box out to see if you're trying to run some kind of Linux device on your network. It's just there for
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
A good analogy, but perhaps a bit inappropriate considering slashdot's users.
[Medium Close Up of Lawyer against a white background. She is wearing a gray hoody. Her eyes are red and she appears stoned.]
Lawyer: I was writing an appellate brief . . .
Lawyer: And it was like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!
[Lawyer gestures spasctically.]
Lawyer: And then, like, half my case law cites were gone.
[Lawyer shrugs]
Lawyer: And I was like, huh?
Lawyer: It devoured my appellate brief. And it was a really good appellate brief.
Lawyer: Then I had to write it again, but I had to write it fast, so it wasn't as good.
Lawyer: It was kind of a bummer.
Lawyer: I'm Ellen Feiss, and I'm an appellate lawyer.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.