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J.J. Abrams To Direct New 'Star Trek' Film
Tycoon Guy writes "TrekToday reports that Paramount has asked 'Lost' creator J.J. Abrams to direct a new 'Star Trek' film. The movie will be set at Starfleet Academy and will feature younger versions of James T. Kirk and Spock, chronicling their first meeting at the Academy and their first outer space mission. The movie is set for a 2008 release and will apparently be one of Paramount's biggest projects for the year."
So it's Harry Potter in space then?
I was going to post a joke about Star Trek: The Beginning of the End, but then I realized that happened a long time ago. Paramount has gone beyond running Star Trek into the ground, at this point they're trying to get blood from a stone. Then again, with Spock's intellect, perhaps we can finally figure out all of the secrets on that darned island.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not entirely sure about the universe - Einstein
Past experience would suggest that we should be wary of franchise prequels where principal characters have sidekicks with funny ears.
- Jonathan :)
No tuna is safe.
Bones: The horse... Its DEAD Jim!
Spock: I concur with the doctor. There is a 97% probability that this movie will suck.
Scotty: If ah tol' ya one I tol' ya a shoushand times, I'm not a miracle worker. Jus' let 'er rest in peace!
Hey, come on, the last time they attempted a prequel series (Enterprise) things worked out really, really well!
Hello? Anyone there?
(insert crickets chirping.wav here)
John Maynard Keynes: "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do?"
Leaked preliminary script:
Cadet Kirk: Cadet Scott, how long until you tap into the visual sensors in the women's shower?
Cadet Scott: It'll be at least an hour. I can nay change the laws of physics.
Cadet Kirk: That hot freshman, Janice Rand is due in the showers in 5 minutes.
Cadet Scott: Janice Rand!!! I'll have it done with 2 seconds to spare or I'm not a half-sloshed stereotype.
Cadet Kirk: Good man! Do it and you can have any job you want when I'm captain of the fleet flagship.
Cadet Spock: Normally I would point out that the risks do not justify these actions... but that Janice Rand would bring on Ponn Farr in an Andorian. Perhaps you should try cross circuiting to B, Cadet Scott.
Cadet McCoy: Can you tie in my medical tricorder so I have a record for future... umm, anatomy study?
Cadet Scott: Do it yourself, pervert.
Cadet McCoy: I'm a medical student not a pornographer!!!
Cadet Scott: All right, all right.
Trek and Trekker: When Kirk met Spock.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Sounds more like a series of videos. Star Fleet Academy Girls Gone Wild.
"We shall party like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean." - HedonismBot
-Eric
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Forgive me for trying to quote from memory, but... in the DS9 Tribbles episode... Sisko: No, in the day, command wore gold (uniforms), engineers wore red... Dax: And women wore less. I'd pay the price of admission if Paramount *doesn't* screw with the uniforms!
"You, there. Get off the corpse. We've warned you about this already."
"Enough of this wretched, whining monkey life." -- Marcus Aurelius, _Meditations_, Book 9, 37
Paramount puts turnip in large vise. Seeks blood.
It's my understanding it's going to be based on Star Trek The Lost Gay Episode.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
You used "realistic" and "Battlestar Galactica" in the same sentence... and weren't being ironic?
Okay, Firefly I can almost see; interplanetary rather than interstellar, and in the recent movie version (Serenity) they actually had a silent space encounter, but BG is only as realistic as the next space opera.
As for the movie, go Animal House version! Owen Wilson as Kirk, Vince Vaughn as Spock, Ben Stiller as Bones, Amanda Bynes as Nurse Chapell, and throw in Craig T. Nelson as Dean Wormer and Jim Carrey as Kahn (because a consistent timeline hasn't seemed to matter since Enterprise), and you've got a movie that might make back its production cost after a few years of DVD downloading--I mean, sales.
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When I first glanced at the article I thought it said "Abrahams", as in Jim Abrahams and David Zucker of "Airplane!" fame. I think they should be the ones doing this movie and rename it "Starship!".
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
If it takes a village to raise a child then it only takes one village idiot (Berman) to screw that child up. Those rat bastards who took Roddenberry's ideas and totally screwed them up can all die in a fire. They can take their own ideas about how to do characters and stories to make them 'edgier' 'darker' or whatever and write their own characters and their own stories and quit raping the memory of Star Trek. That's assuming they have any talent of their own which I doubt other than to be able to fasten themselves like leeches onto somebody else's ideas and somebody else's science fiction/fantasy universe. Pompous idiots without an ounce of creativity sucking at the teat of dead authors and dead creators and who try to bask in the reflected light of their betters. So unless Gene Roddenberry rises from the dead and decides to do something with Star Trek (which does not include changing what's already in the can - do you hear me George (die in a fire) Lucas?) then leave it alone. This means you Rick Berman/Paramount. The market will of course decide as it has with most remakes and recycled ideas and put them in the garbage disposal as they should. Personally you idea recycling bastards can take your Starsky and Hutch remake, your Dukes of Hazzard remake, your Star Trek 'remake',your upcoming Dallas remake and any movie starring or featuring Owen Wilson/Johnny Jackass whatever his last name is and shove them up the bodily orifice they came from. I won't buy one movie ticket, one dvd, I won't even watch a preview on Apple or even bittorrent a copy of your festering efforts. And so metaphorically speaking of course, may you all die in fires. (saw that term used on Fark (Duke sucks)and thought it was funny) Okay, rant over, I feel better now. - Please nobody actually die in a fire.
Enjoy your Karma, after all you earned it. Feel your Karma Joe, feel it burn.
Most likely, Shatner and Nimoy will star. With lots of makeup and computer editing, they can pass for 20-year-olds. I'm almost sure of it.
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Sorry, I'm only a 1336 h4x0r.
but this is going to go bad fast.
next year we will have "startrek kids" and then Startrek babies"
Spock,Kirk and Kaahn ride their hover-tricycles around the neighborhood going where "no 4 year old has gone before"
It will be "rugrats" set in the Star Trek universe.
I can hear sci-fi fans puking all across the country at that thought.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
Not enough time has passed since the last movie. They need a bigger break because they will still have the same people who have been dragging down the movies for a while.
Didn't they try this with the Crocodile Dundee franchise?
In case of fire, do not use elevator. Use water!
NEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
Don't forget 'Two Kirks, A Khan & A Pizza Place'.
It will be hard to bring Sisko back, but there is not really a need for that. His role diminished as the series went on. I'd say let Avery Brooks direct, he did some good episodes.
...or maybe I'm just bored at work
Seriously? You think so?
Jake: (turns a corner in a hallway sees his father standing in front of him) "Dad! What? How?"
Sisco: "The profits, Jake...my path with them has brought me back here to you because..." (and thus the movie/adventure begins)
Paramount should really consider putting this idea direct to video!
w henkirkmetspock.jpg
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b177/troyzilla/
I get it, that's a Mirror Universe version of the other guy's response, right?
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