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Married In Oblivion

An anonymous reader writes "Thanks to an odd glitch in the game that prevents him from completing the Knights of the White Stallion quest, Shawn has figured out how to keep himself a mighty fine Orc wife, Mazoga. Once she went on adventures with him. Now she lives in his house in Tamriel, and he can't get her to leave. He visits her when he's in the city, tired after his days of adventuring. He's thinking about buying her a kitchen set. Maybe a living room. Hands down, it's the best Oblivion glitch to date."

12 of 76 comments (clear)

  1. Sex by Feminist-Mom · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've always wondered what it would be like to sleep with an orc.

    1. Re:Sex by Locke2005 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Most of us have personal rules against dating outside our species... on the other hand, I hear they do taste just like chicken!

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:Sex by RoadDoggFL · · Score: 3, Funny

      Any girl that tastes like chicken has to have something wrong with her. Stay the fuck away from that...

      --
      "This is considered plagiarism."
    3. Re:Sex by Forrest+Kyle · · Score: 3, Funny

      Just ask that guy who married Star Jones.

    4. Re:Sex by Feminist-Mom · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh I'm not interested in dating an orc. Just a fantasy of being kidnapped by a band of them, like Merry and Pippin, and being a sex slave of the all seeing eye...

    5. Re:Sex by jb.hl.com · · Score: 4, Funny

      +1 Uncomfortable truth

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      By summer it was all gone...now shesmovedon. --
    6. Re:Sex by Sj0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is the most disturbing thing I've read all week.

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      It's been a long time.
    7. Re:Sex by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I hear Sauron likes to watch

  2. Funny you should mention it... by Balinares · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In Morrowind, you could actually get yourself a girlfriend, and as close to married as you'll get in that game. After meeting and befriending her, then doing a few personal things for her, she ends up giving you the key to her house in Pelagiad, which becomes yours for all intents and purposes. As far as I can remember, there's only one bed in that house, but so long as you don't mind catgirls that shouldn't be an issue. :)

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    -- B.
    This sig does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
  3. Re:Red tab? by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Did anyone else notice that the background color of the "tab" for the story on the front page was red? Next refresh it was back to normal gray again."

    What, you've never seen Slashdot go to Red Alert?

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    "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

  4. Naked Man by Rowan_u · · Score: 5, Funny

    This reminds me of a story my good friend told me about Oblivion. During a certain fighter's guild quest, he had a well armored male companion. Due to an accidental pick pocketing during the quest, he was kicked out of the fighter's guild. However, his companion continued to follow him everywhere, helping out with ambushes as needed. Also turned out that his loyal fighter's guild companion was unkillable.

    This wouldn't have been that funny itself . . . but, after awhile the Fighter's amour begin to fall into disrepair, eventually leaving him completely naked. So, currently, my friend has a naked man following him everywhere. On the 360 widescreen, you can just make him out . . . running behind, desperate to catch up.

    --
    only one everything
    1. Re:Naked Man by RabbidRabbit · · Score: 4, Funny

      I happen to be the person experiencing the naked man problem with Oblivion. It wouldn't be all that bad if after resting at an inn you wouldn't wake up to seeing him standing at the foot of the bed with a wicked grin on his face.