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New Disclaimer for the Internet
Techdirt has an amusing new disclaimer for the internet penned by lawyer David Canton is response to Rob Hyndman's recent discovery of an impressive disclaimer for a rock preserve. From the disclaimer: "Business is unpredictable and unsafe. The Internet is dangerous. Many blogs have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the blogs. The Internet is covered in slippery slopes with loose, slippery and unpredictable footing. The RIAA can make matters worse. Patent trolls are everywhere. You may fall, be spammed or suffer a DOS attack. There are hidden viruses and worms. You could break your computer. There is wild code, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread malware. These include viruses and worms. E-mail can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the Internet, blogosphere, ISP's or other features, natural or otherwise."
"Life is unpredictable and unsafe. The Park is dangerous. Many stories have been written about these dangers, and there's no way we can list them all here. Read the newspapers. The Park is covered in slippery slopes with loose, slippery and unpredictable footing. The animals can make matters worse. Trolls are everywhere. You may fall, be spammed or suffer from a blocked road. There are hidden viruses and worms. You could break your leg. There are wild animals, which may be vicious, poisonous or carriers of dread diseases. These include viruses and worms. Plants can be poisonous as well. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. We do not inspect, supervise or maintain the Park, newspapers, roads or other features, natural or otherwise."
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
Life should have a disclaimer, too. Before you leave the womb:
End-User Life(tm) Agreement (EULA)
This will probably suck. You agree not to sue God(tm) or any of His subsidiaries for any negative events that can and will happen.
No guarantees against anything, including loss of life, limb, or property. Live at your own risk.
This transaction is not reversible. You may not re-enter the Womb(tm) once you are born. Check one: [ ] Agree
Slashdot has dupes.
Slashdot has trolls and flamers.
Non-subscribers entitled to a full refund if they aren't satisfied.
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
When you posted this, I don't think you realized that the whole reason this 'Internet disclaimer' was written is that somebody noticed an impressively bizarre disclaimer at ... the entrance of a park!
HTH.
We recently had heard in the office over one of the Yellow Machine that's made by Anthology Solutions.
Doubting Maxwell: There is one already! From my Web site (AQFL):
Hmmph, I didn't know we had End User License Agreement (EULA) to live! Tempnexus's Broadband Reports Security forum thread mentioned a funny spoof for every human who was born. According to this EULA, we seems to come with spywares (God spies on us), and can be infected with bad stuff like virus and trojans. Ending EULA means terminating life. Here's a copy of the EULA:
PLEASE READ this end-user license agreement ("EULA") carefully. By being born, you agree to be bound by the terms of this EULA. If you do not agree, do not exit womb and, if applicable, return to the place of conception for a full refund.
1. GENERAL. This EULA is a legal agreement between you (either an individual or an entity) and the scientific or religious establishment of your choice ("God"). This EULA governs your Life, which includes all seconds from the time you are born until you are legally pronounced dead (. This EULA also governs the container supplied with your Life ("Body") and any support services ("miracles") relating to Life except as may be included in another agreement between you and God. An amendment or addendum to this EULA may be presented to you by your retail suppliers ("Parents").
2. THE PARENT PROGRAM. All complaints and technical support requests should be addressed to your Parents, who may or may not, depending on the subscription level you have elected, offer you additional warranties. Parents are third-party components, and not subject to warranties under this EULA. God is not liable for the quality, competence, character, number, gender, species, ethnicity, religious affiliation, or presence/absence of your Parents, or for the quality of the relationship between them, if any, and does not supply technical support for Parental units. Any Parent may be terminated or exchanged at any time without notice and without recourse.
3 CONSCIOUSNESS. To reduce piracy, God requires certain components to be activated. The license rights granted under this EULA are limited to the first five times you gain Consciousness ("Wake up") after you are Born unless you supply the information necessary to activate your Life. You may also need to reactivate your Life if you modify your Body or alter your Consciousness. God will not collect any personally identifiable information from your DNA during the activation process without your consent.
4. DIGITAL RIGHTS MANAGEMENT. Content providers are using digital rights management technology to protect the integrity of their content so that their intellectual property, including copyright, in such content is not misappropriated. If your Brain's security has been compromised, content providers may request that God revoke your right to copy, display, and/or play protected content. Revocation does not alter your Brain's ability to access unprotected content, if any exists.
5. OUT-OF-BODY EXPERIENCES. Your Life may not be shared or used concurrently among different Bodies.
6. YOU ALSO AGREE:
a. Not to remove or obscure any copyright, trademark or patent notices ("Birthmarks") that appear on the Body as delivered to you;
b. To indemnify, hold harmless, and defend God from and against any claims or lawsuits, including attorneys' fees, that arise or result from the use or distribution of the Life;
c. That God reserves all rights not expressly granted.
3. RESERVATION OF RIGHTS AND OWNERSHIP. God reserves all rights not expressly granted to you in this EULA. The Life is protected by copyright and other intellectual property laws and treaties. God or Its suppliers own the title, copyright, and other intellectual property rights in the Life and in any derivative works produced by you during the course of your Life. The Life is licensed, not sold.
4. MEMORIES. You may make a single back-up copy of the Life. You may use one (1) back-up copy solely
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
The install process is covered in steep learning curves, slippery catches and unstable automated functions. Having a non-standard set of hardware will make matters worse. Mindbogling jargon is everywhere. You may fail, crash or otherwise fail catastrophically at any time. You could break your multi-boot partitions. There are hidden rules and things to know. Carry install disks, backups and a spare windows machine at all times.
Asking for help won't work. The wild linux-know-it-all snobs are ready to bounce at your pitiful requests for explanations, with vicious, poisonous comments about newbies and reading the man pages. We don't do anything to protect you from any of this. By using a free open source operating system, you are agreeing that we owe you no hint of advice or any other care. We promise you nothing. We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. This is no joke.
We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, specially if we know about it. We may or may not make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, and we may make matters worse! Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice just for fun. So don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE LINUX AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!
PS: Here is the original disclaimer which is way more funnier and actually quite true considering the dangers at that Preserve. --- www.tribalnetworks.org
www.tribalnetworks.org - helping tribal people around the world to own their own means of high-tech communications
"WARNING: Modem does not enable user to fly."
That I can understand, I'm not stupid, but on the box, they said I could surf with it but it doesn't even float !
The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool.