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Wal-Mart Trying to Trademark the Smiley Face

Ellis D. Tripp writes to tell us BBC News is reporting that mega-retailer, Wal-Mart, is now fighting it out with a man who claims to have invented the 'smiley face' logo, and has been marketing it since the '70s. From the article: "Until now the smiley face had been considered in the public domain in the US, and therefore free for anyone to use. Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley told the Los Angeles Times that it had not moved to register the trademark until Mr Loufrani had threatened to do so."

72 of 317 comments (clear)

  1. I thought it was invented by by kahanamoku · · Score: 5, Funny

    Forest Gump?

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    ----- Concentrate on promoting more than demoting.
    1. Re:I thought it was invented by by bassgoonist · · Score: 2

      That was mentioned in TFA. I think its a bunch of silliness and YAEOWCTLG (yet another example of walmart crushing the little guy)

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      You can tell I'm an aries because of my ram.
    2. Re:I thought it was invented by by kahanamoku · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Bugger!... Pays to read before posting!!!

      But in all seriousness, I would've thought that the Joe Boxer company would've had more claim to the logo than most. (although they Did add the tongue) Picture Example

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      ----- Concentrate on promoting more than demoting.
    3. Re:I thought it was invented by by thedogcow · · Score: 4, Funny

      YEOWCTLG? Funny, that is the same noise my cat makes when she coughs up a furball.

      --
      Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
    4. Re:I thought it was invented by by Columcille · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Unless I've misread something, this is the little guy trying to crush Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart's move is a protective reaction against another entity wanting to trademark an image currently in the U.S. public domain. The indication from the article is that Wal-Mart has no problem with it being public domain, but are now trying to trademark it in response to the actions of "the little guy". Had "the little guy" not tried to trademark the image, Wal-Mart would not be doing this.

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      I love my sig.
    5. Re:I thought it was invented by by samkass · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Yes, because everything Wal-Mart's PR department says is obviously the unbiased gospel truth. Just because someone didn't fill out the paperwork in the US, doesn't mean they're wrong. They have the trademark in 80 countries around the world already. This isn't a little guy or a big guy thing-- this is two companies battling over logos, akin to Apple vs Apple. In the end, this is going to be a pretty common news item as globalization continues to set in.

      --
      E pluribus unum
    6. Re:I thought it was invented by by neoform · · Score: 2, Insightful

      So as a response they're then going to trademark something they didn't invent.. sounds ethical to me..

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      MABASPLOOM!
    7. Re:I thought it was invented by by lbmouse · · Score: 5, Informative

      This is a Trademark, not a patent or copyright fight. The brewers of Bass Ale didn't invent the word Bass, they just trademarked it in conjunction with their triangle logo. Trademark law is supposed to help the consumers by eliminating confusion in the market place.

      IANAIPL but my ex-wife is and she is always talking about how strange and vague trademark law can be. Her firm help trademark the shape of the Dean's Milk Chugs bottles. They used the Coca-Cola bottle product packaging trademark as the basis for their argument. So saying that consumers might be confused in the market place by a well known smiley face is not that odd or unethical.

    8. Re:I thought it was invented by by Magic5Ball · · Score: 2, Informative

      Cite?

      Unless the artist(s) who claim first use of the mark were/are using it in conjunction with the operation of retail department stores in approximately the same geography, confusion between that use and Wal-Mart's use of the mark would be very difficult to demonstrate. First use of the mark by the French artist in connection with selling... nothing? (http://www.smileyworld.com/shop/) or items branded with smiley faces has little to do with Wal-Mart's use of the mark in selling non-smiley-related merchandise.

      --
      There are 1.1... kinds of people.
    9. Re:I thought it was invented by by Ingolfke · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Your analogy is wrong. Applying for the trademark application is more like developing weapons technology, not using it. You then have the option to use those weapons if you need to, but also have the option to negotiate if you choose. Walmart should both challenge the trademark application and at the same time make a specific application for their version of the smiley face (which is somewhat unique to Walmart). There is no reason for Walmart to commit to one type of action... just as you can develop weapons technology while holding talks with your enemies. This isn't a mutually exclusive decision.

    10. Re:I thought it was invented by by deesine · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I was thinking something very similar: Perhaps Wal-mart failed to tell us of the letter they first sent him asking for him to turn the rights over/sell to them.

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      damaged by dogma
    11. Re:I thought it was invented by by StrongAxe · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Applying for the trademark application is more like developing weapons technology, not using it. You then have the option to use those weapons if you need to, but also have the option to negotiate if you choose

      Actually, while this may be the case with copyrights, it is not the case with trademarks. If you have a trademark, and someone infringes on it, and you don't vigorously defend it in a timely manner, you lose your exclusive rights to it.

    12. Re:I thought it was invented by by Ingolfke · · Score: 2, Interesting

      True, but if Walmart's point is to defend their right to use what has been considered to be in the public domain then losing their trademark officially to the public domain would be ok. The worst case scenario for them, is to lose their smiley face to this guy's trademark. This is a defensive move, not an offensive move.

  2. My reaction by way2trivial · · Score: 4, Funny

    :(

    That's it... (cat filter)

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    every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
    1. Re:My reaction by nrlightfoot · · Score: 3, Funny

      I have trademarked the frowny face emoticon, expect to hear from my lawyer soon.

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      what sig?
    2. Re:My reaction by BungeBash · · Score: 3, Funny

      Is this your lawyer? :-$

  3. :( Sad Sad by foundme · · Score: 4, Funny

    Whatever the outcome, I'm sure the loser will be entitled to use the SaddyFace.

    And since this is a trademark dispute, can't SmileyWorld keep selling its smiley icons while Wal-Mart keep sellings its items. I don't see a dispute here unless Wal-Mart employees start smiling.

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    Please stop entering code 2,2,7,6,6,4
    1. Re::( Sad Sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

      Actually, the sad face is owned by despair.com
      http://www.despair.com/frownonthis.html

      See the actual posting at
      http://tarr.uspto.gov/servlet/tarr?regser=serial&e ntry=75502288

  4. New law for patents and trademarks by ModernGeek · · Score: 2, Interesting

    How about a time frame that is put into place? Lets say you can't patent or trademark an idea/logo if it's been used for over a year. That would solve a lot of problems.

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    Sig: I stole this sig.
    1. Re:New law for patents and trademarks by rdwald · · Score: 2, Informative

      Patent law actually already works this way. If something was published or used in the US over a year before you applied for the patent, you're done. You aren't getting anything.

  5. Simley? by virgil_disgr4ce · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the article, the spokesman's name is Simley. Why is it an anagram of smiley??? WHY?!

  6. Everybody sing along! by menace3society · · Score: 3, Funny

    Don't worry... be litigious....

  7. I worked for walmart ..... by fotbr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    for two months to pay bills.

    NO ONE that worked there smiled. Why? We were all miserable. The only time we were happy was when our shifts were ending at 7am, coincidentally when they started selling alcohol each day. I can't speak for walmart in general, but the store I worked at had HORRIBLE management, directly contributing to the lack of smiles amongst the night shift.

    Back on topic, its horsepucky. People see a smiley face, they do NOT think "walmart".

    1. Re:I worked for walmart ..... by nosredna · · Score: 5, Insightful

      It's been a long time since I've been in a 24-hour store in the wee hours and seen the employees smiling (excluding of course the stoned guy running the drive-thru at Taco Bell, or anything involving floor buffer races). I'd blame the simple fact of working third shift in a retail chain before blaming management completely.

      That's not to say that the management had nothing to do with it, of course, but not many people are gonna be doing a lot of smiling while restocking the toilet-paper aisle and directing the latest group of stoners to the Doritos, regardless of the management.

  8. As the Comic Book Guy would say... by thedogcow · · Score: 4, Funny

    There is no emoticon for how I am feeling.

    --
    Yes! I listen to NYC Speedcore and do math at 3AM. I suggest you try it too.
    1. Re:As the Comic Book Guy would say... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      }}}:(

  9. Despair Inc. beat you to it by Johnso · · Score: 4, Informative

    Despair Inc. already has the frowny emoticon trademarked.

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    1. Re:Despair Inc. beat you to it by Bega · · Score: 2, Funny
      Despair Inc. already has the frowny emoticon trademarked.
      How fitting for them to have a trademarked emoticon.

      Bye bye karma.
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  10. He had no claim by Jafafa+Hots · · Score: 4, Informative

    Harvey R. Ball invented the yellow smiley in 1963 for a life insurance company. He was paid $45.

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  11. Ultimate Trademark Dispute?? by foundme · · Score: 3, Funny
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  12. The only way I can see this working for Wal-Mart by Rachel+Lucid · · Score: 5, Insightful
    There's no way they can copyright the 'smiley' face itself. They might be able to copyright their interpretation of it.

    Wal-Mart's smiley face is a very distinctive one - the elongated eyes, the wide smile, the button-ised bevel around its edges, the ray-man-esque gloves. If they included its whistling personality and the song they use for the whistling, there is a GOOD chance they can copyright that specific interpretation of the smiley as a cartoon character, much in the way the Church of the Subgenius seems to hold the copyright for 'Bob's pipe-wielding visage, despite how common the image of a clean-cut 50's male with a pipe actually was in those times.

    I think Wal-mart is full of shit here if they think they can claim they invented the smiley or patented its use in drumming up sales, but if they keep to that narrow interpretation I just described, they have a chance.

  13. Pointless "prior art" by jnadke · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've been producing shit since I was born, but you don't see me suing Slashdot.

  14. All I have to say is... by Lazarian · · Score: 2, Funny

    :(

  15. Who Watches the Walmartmen? by aapold · · Score: 2, Funny

    Alan Moore should hold rights to it, but he'd just sign them over to Dave Gibbons anyway....

    --
    "Waste not one watt!" - CZ
  16. Note to Wally world by SupahVee · · Score: 3, Informative

    Plastic Legos began production in 1963, they've had smiley faces on them ever since, Duplo's were introduced in 1967, they have smileys.

    Suck it.

    --
    "See, we plan ahead! That way, we never have to do anything now."
  17. Change-up by cei · · Score: 5, Funny

    In a deft move by Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley, Wal-Mart mistakenly trademarks the Simley face.

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    This sig intentionally left justified.
  18. Re:Two issues here by Russ+Nelson · · Score: 4, Informative

    You forgot to say "I'm not a lawyer, so you shouldn't listen to me."

    You can copyright a logo.

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    Don't piss off The Angry Economist
  19. Spelling matters by alanwj · · Score: 4, Informative
    Wal-Mart spokesman John Smiley

    The universe would not allow such a coincidence. The guy's name, according the the article, is actually John Simley.
    1. Re:Spelling matters by digitalhermit · · Score: 2, Funny

      True, true... Now that would be different if Thomas Crapper *did* really invent the flush toilet.

    2. Re:Spelling matters by femto · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yes it would. Just ask Cardinal Sin (At least you could have asked him until he died last year. RIP).

  20. Re:Two issues here by eonlabs · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Apparently, patent and trademark law has changed in the last 20 years to
    "Patent and Trademark EVERYTHING, Including the wheel. It will get accepted, and unless you fight it out in court, and LOSE, people should pay you money for using it."
    Frivility is a non-issue at this point.

    I think walmart and the other guy need a good solid kick in the pants.

    --
    I wouldn't consider the mad hatter mad. Just reality impaired. He sure can make a mean cup of tea.
  21. Defensive trademark registration by Russ+Nelson · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Walmart is trying to avoid the same situation Linux was in a few years ago. Everybody knew that Linux came from Linus, and yet the USPTO (the "M" for Morons is silent) allowed some mental defective to register "Linux" as a trademark. Much confusion and angst ensued until Linus was able to wrest his trademark back. The way trademarks work, Walmart MUST try to defend their common-law trademark against a rogue trademark registration.

    In this case, Walmart is the little guy defending itself against the Big, Bad USPTO.

    --
    Don't piss off The Angry Economist
    1. Re:Defensive trademark registration by bnf · · Score: 4, Insightful

      No. It's not analagous. What you are proposing paints the scene with a brush drawn from the can of revisionist history.

      In no way does everyone know that the smiley face "came from Walmart". In fact it did not. Walmart has latched onto this symbol of good cheer in order to bolster their brand. And while the origin is a point of contention, it ain't their's. They did not invent that symbol.

      Linux was, is and always has been associated with the work of Linus Torvalds (and company).

      Walmart is stealing the smiley face. They are either stealing from the public domain, or from someone with a prior claim but make no mistake they are coopting it for themsleves.

      The trademark dispute over the origin's of the smiley face are long standing. The Frenchman has a valid trademark in Europe and elsewhere. Good for him. Just because Walmart want's to get in on the act doesn't mean that we should all line up to hand over this part of the zeitgeist.

      IMHO the smiley face is probably perfect for Walmart. Nothings says just be happy and don't give a shit or much thought about the broader implications of where you spend your dollars than a smiley face.

      Wake up you sheep.

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      this space intentionally left blank (oops)

  22. Re:Oops.. by Technician · · Score: 4, Informative

    You didn't read the name right just like I did on the first pass on the article.

    From the article "Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley told the Los Angeles Times"

    Smiley and Simley are not the same.

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    The truth shall set you free!
  23. Frown trademarked by D+H+NG · · Score: 2, Informative

    Only fitting, since the frown is already trademarked.

  24. Re:Two issues here by Stinky+Cheese+Man · · Score: 5, Informative
    They are not copyrighting the smiley - they are trademarking it. These are very different things.

    SCM

  25. The sad face :-( is already trade marked. by AKosygin · · Score: 3, Informative

    If I remember correctly, the sad face: :-(

    is already trade marked by Despair Inc.

    http://www.despair.com/frownonthis.html

    And it is already registered. So I don't see why one can't register a trade mark from the smily face.

  26. Re:The Patent System Needs an Overhaul by stuuf · · Score: 5, Insightful

    No, slashdot needs an overhaul. Happy Birthday is copyrighted, Wal-Mart is trying to trademark the smiley face, and now you mentioned patents for no reason. Those are three different things.

    --

    Everyone is born right-handed; only the greatest overcome it

  27. Common use by Raul654 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    If I remember correctly, Microsoft's trademark case over the term 'Windows' fell apart on one rather innocious bit of law - apparently while it's entirely possible for something to go from trademarkably specific to common use (like 'kleenex' or 'band-aid'), it's legally impossible for the reverse to occur. Thus, Microsoft's 'Windows' trademark is effectively legally unenforcable. I very much suspect the same applies in this case.

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    To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
    --E.C. Stanton
  28. Re:IANAL, but you're still wrong by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

    Haha! Way to conveniently edit out the sentence that says "yes, you can copyright a logo." That showed him I bet!

  29. straight dope by Mahou · · Score: 3, Informative
    --
    if i'm not immortal, what's the point of living?
    ...te?
  30. Ramifications by robertjw · · Score: 2, Interesting

    This brings up some really bizzare (at least in my mind) legal questions.

    IIUTC trademark in the US is limited to specific types of business i.e. retail.
    From TFA Franklin Loufrani - just one of a number of people who profess to have invented the image - has marketed the sign since the early 1970s.

    He and his London-based company SmileyWorld today own the rights to the logo in more than 80 countries around the world.


    Does he own a copyright or a trademark? Are these two concepts universal? Does he license it to multiple forms of business? How would this concept of him 'owning the rights' apply here in the US?

    On top of that, how does the whole 'prior art' thing work in this instance? Could this guy theoretically trademark something he's been using since the 60's even though another company has been using it for over 10 years? Is prior art an international concept, or does it have to have been used in the US for the USPTO to recognize it?

    Ultimately I'm not sure why this frenchman is bothering, other than the fact that he's French and annoying. It would cost Walmart an astronomical amount of money to remove the smiley from all of the areas of business where they use it. I"m sure they'd much rather put that money to fighting it (or buying a judge, buying new laws, etc...). How could anyone hope to have the finances to win this case?

  31. slashdot trademarks by cashman73 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Has CowboyNeal filed the trademarks for the "/" and the "." yet? One would think that would be an excellent money-making opportunity for slashdot.

  32. Re:IANAL, but you're still wrong by xiphoris · · Score: 2, Interesting

    You can copyright a logo that has sufficient authorship.

    I don't think a yellow-and-black smilie face counts.

  33. The Real Smily Face Creator- Harvey Ball by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    http://www.worcesterhistory.org/ex_smiley.html

    Just thought you'll want to know.

  34. I totally believe this guy by layer3switch · · Score: 3, Funny

    "A Frenchman who claims to have invented the yellow smiley face back in 1968"

    After all, this is a very well known fact that only Frechman is capable of being yellow AND have a smiley face. Fact proven during WWII, case closed. Give the patent to the Frechy.

    --
    "Don't let fools fool you. They are the clever ones."
  35. Re:IANAL, but you're still wrong by cpt+kangarooski · · Score: 3, Insightful

    No, it likely counts. But only for the original author. If someone else comes along and makes the same basic illustration, based upon the earlier one, then they haven't contributed anything new. And only the new contribution would be copyrightable.

    --
    -- This and all my posts are in the public domain. I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice.
  36. Copyright this... by Super+Dave+Osbourne · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Walmart should be held to a higher level of truthfulness in their advertising and thus their grocery bags. I have never really seen associates or customers of Walmart smile. In fact, I see them frown a lot, or just have blank overconsumered looks on their faces. Whether in the returns line, the check out lines (sans human clerks now), or interacting with live clerks, a smile at Walmart is as plastic as the bags they are printed upon. Maybe they should copyright a frowning face, one that clearly captures the truth of the Walmart Experience (tm) :)

  37. Re:Heh by From+A+Far+Away+Land · · Score: 3, Funny

    So you agree it's a coverup then? ;-)

    "Wal-Mart spokesman John Simley"

    Cost of a spokesperson : $40K a year
    Cost of a spokesperson with a name that sounds like an advertising gimick of the company: Priceless.
    For everything else there's Walmart Visa cards.

  38. IAAL and it is you who is wrong by TekPolitik · · Score: 3, Interesting

    A logo can be protected under both trademark and copyright laws. In the US it gets copyright protection as a "graphic work" (17USC102(a)(5)), provided it is an original work in the sense that "original" is used in copyright law.

  39. What's Wrong With This Picture? by eno2001 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Wal-Mart, the champions of the "if you can sell it and make lots of money" brand of rotted capitalism we have here in America didn't care to trademark the smiley face UNTIL someone who potentially is the creator of the icon decides to try to get it trademarked? Wouldn't that make Wal-Mart hypocritical? As soon as someone is gearing up to be in a position where he could make a lot of money off of Wal-Mart and various IM software companies (not to mention Microsoft Bob), it's all of the sudden their icon to trademark? Sorry you fucking idiots. But the smiley face has been around since before I was born and Wal-Mart is younger than I am. Someone throw a brick in the face of the CEO please?

    --
    -"...bad old ideas look confusingly fresh when they are packaged as technology" - Jaron Lanier (Digital Maoism on Edge.o
    1. Re:What's Wrong With This Picture? by unitron · · Score: 2, Interesting
      "But the smiley face has been around since before I was born and Wal-Mart is younger than I am."

      Apparently Wal-Mart was founded in 1962 and incorporated in 1969, so while the smiley face may be slightly older than the corporation , it's slightly younger than the business.

      It is, however, considerably older than Wal-Mart's use of it.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  40. Walkman by mwvdlee · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It doesn't really matter who invented it. Just like Sony's "Walkman" trademark; if you don't enforce the trademark properly, it becomes public domain and everybody can use it.
    Apparently it took SmileyWorld a few decades before trying to enforce their claimed trademark. As such it has become public domain already, whether they ever had the trademark or not.
    I hope if Wal-mart wins, they'll be nice enough to let everybody use it. But it's a US corporation, so they'll probably sue anybody who's ever touched it.

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  41. Re:Yet another reason to shop elsewhere by uncqual · · Score: 2, Funny

    Lord knows, they are probably incestuous and recursive and using reiserfs - who knows what fsck would uncover as it ran across the files intended to be mounted via loopbacks... That would truly be a CF.

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    Why is there an "insightful" mod and why isn't it "-1"? If I wanted insight, I wouldn't be reading /.
  42. Mr. Copyright, meet Mr. Trademark by penguin-collective · · Score: 4, Interesting

    If they included its whistling personality and the song they use for the whistling, there is a GOOD chance they can copyright that specific interpretation of the smiley as a cartoon character, much in the way the Church of the Subgenius seems to hold the copyright for 'Bob's pipe-wielding visage, despite how common the image of a clean-cut 50's male with a pipe actually was in those times.

    You're confusing copyrights and trademarks. They can't "copyright" the smiley face because they didn't create it. They can trademark it. But if the smiley face actually were under copyright, then they couldn't trademark it because you couldn't reproduce it (so they could never use it).

    Legally, WalMart may be able to get away with registering a trademark on the smiley face, if it is really in the public domain. Ethically, that's wrong: the smiley face is a cultural icon that no company ought to be able to claim rights to.

    However, one can throw a monkey wrench in their plans simply by re-creating the association between the smiley face and psychotic killers, since those seem to love the symbol. Given stories by WalMart employees, perhaps their choice of trademark isn't so inappropriate after all.

  43. A trademark is not a patent by douglaid · · Score: 2, Informative

    If I patent something, nobody can use it without a licence from me. But a trademark merely distinguishes my goods from other people's. McDonald's have trademarked their logo for hamburgers, but that doesn't stop Hungry Jack's or even my Lions Club from selling hamburgers. It simply means that they can't be called McDonald's.

    And trade marks apply only to a category of goods. If I want to sell nuts and bolts under the Big M logo (either Mcdonald's or the "BigM" flavoured milk logo here in Oz), it wouldn't cause any confusion with their product.

    A trade mark doesn't have to be something newly invented. It used to have to be a "mangled" word not in common use in the language, but that seems to be no longer required. The name "Barrier Cream" was struck off because it merely described what the cream did, but that was years ago.

    If I am right, both Loufrani and Wal-Mart are entitled to use the smiley, and so can you and I.

  44. Re:The only way I can see this working for Wal-Mar by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I think Wal-mart is full of shit here...

    That may be true, but they're also full of money, the thing that really counts in the court system.

    --
    May the Maths Be with you!
  45. Re:This reminds me of.... by geoffspear · · Score: 2, Funny
    And, more importantly, the USPTO claims that Microsoft has a trademark on "Windows", too.

    Guess who wins in the argument about who can or cannot legally trademark something between the USPTO and some guy on Slashdot who hear from a friend who knows a guy who said that Microsoft couldn't trademark something?

    --
    Don't blame me; I'm never given mod points.
  46. Re:Oops.. by nwbvt · · Score: 2

    Thats how its spelled in the /. summary. The problem isn't that he misread it, its that he assumed the editors knew how to spell (or at least copy and past correctly).

    --
    Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
  47. blame USPTO and courts by sjames · · Score: 2, Informative

    It seems this should be a glaringly obvious issue as far as U.S. trademark law is concerned. If it was ever possible to trademark, that time has long passed. The image has appeared on everything imaginable from pillows to bandages, probably millions of successful elementary school test papers, shoes, bowling balls, pins, etc, etc. I can hardly imagine a MORE dilute image. It's a testiment to the diluted nature that the overwealming majority of people don't even have a theory as to who created the smiley face image.

    It appears that WalMart is well aware of this and that their action is purely a defensive move to avoid the expense of a court battle. The fact that the best defense against an outrageous legal claim is an equal but opposite outrageous claim is an indictment of the U.S. court system, not WalMart. There are plenty of reasons to question WalMart, but this isn't one of them.

  48. Prior Art! by FhnuZoag · · Score: 2, Funny
  49. Wait{er|resse}s sing something else by The+Monster · · Score: 2, Funny
    Have you noticed at restaurants, when the servers flock together to sing to a person having a birthday, instead of the proprietary 'Happy Birthday to You', they sing a different song entirely. I offer, under the GPL , this little ditty:
    Happy, happy birthday!
    We sing this song to you
    (We'd like to sing a different one
    But then we might get sued)
    --

    [100% ISO 646 Compliant]
    SVM, ERGO MONSTRO.