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Caffeine 'Dipstick' Test for Coffee
An anonymous reader writes "Researchers at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis are developing a quick test for caffeine that works even with hot beverages and plan to adapt their technology to a simple ('dipstick') test that can be used to check for caffeine in a variety of drinks. The key to the caffeine test comes from llamas and camels since these camelids happen to be among the few creatures whose immune systems can produce antibodies that aren't destroyed at the high temperatures common to brewed beverages.
The researchers reasoned that if they could create heat-resistant camelid antibodies that reacted to caffeine, they could potentially build a durable assay suitable for use almost anywhere."
...just WTF is a "durable assay suitable for use almost anywhere"???
It's a wooden stick with the words "Not enough" imprinted on it.
I pity the foo that isn't metasyntactic
Great, I first had to look up assay:
(from Merriam Webster).Anyway, sometimes when I drink coffee I seem to have an entirely opposite reaction and am overcome with sleepiness. It only happens occasionally, and counterintuitively it always seems to be a very strong brew of some Starbucks blend. After doing a little research I discovered what you might expect to be a stronger (caffeine-wise) coffee is actually the weakest.
Turns out the darker the roast, the longer the beans have to be roasted to become that dark. And the longer the beans are roasted, the more caffeine is destroyed in the process. So, while a roast may be described as bold, but it doesn't necessarily mean it has extra kick. I prefer the bold roast taste, but have taken to preparing much lighter roasts for my morning kick-start.
Interestingly enough, this could also explain why I am positively higher than a kite when I drink someones A&P Maxwell House Drip grind coffee. It is a bland light looking roast/blend, but it can really have a kick.
Here's one page that answers some questions about caffeine.
We need a dipstick that will tell us the caffeine is up to snuff. I don't want to be short changed on my caffeine and would be happy to see something akin to a thermometer poping it's cap, letting me know my fix is just a wicked as I need it to be.
"Academicians are more likely to share each other's toothbrush than each other's nomenclature."
Cohen
If after 15 cups of a beverage (non-alcoholic) in one hour I don't have the shakes, there's not enough caffeine.
Cost: $0 .02%
Research time: 1 hour.
Damage to Camels and Llamas: less than
My ZooLoo
I've got an easier one. The black handle means 'caffeine.' The orange handle means 'no caffeine.'
This guy's the limit!
Friend: "Hey, that coffee smells good. What kind is it?"
Me: (taking a deep breath) Now? Camel-flavored.
I've found that most people who are that worried about the amount of caffeine in their coffee really are dipsticks.
And then you drink the coffee? Do you at least take the camel or llama or alpaca or whatever out of the coffee first?
I wonder which llamas work best. Red, Mexican Whooping, or Guacanos?
Oh, yeah, obviously, you use a "2-L" llama. I don't think most Tibetians would appreciate you using a "1-L" lama.
Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
...for Perl programmers. We trust anything that can pass the llama or camel test.
GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
I need a stick that will give me caffeine and alcohol percentages so I can get that half and half mix of Redbull/Monster and vodka just right.
They should make these sticks suitable for use in a way similar to pregnancy tests: pee on the stick to see the concentration of caffeine in your system.
Blue means not enough
Pink means just right
Black means you're peeing coffee.
Brown means you put it near the wrong orifice.
I am defenseless. Use your button. Mod me down with all of your hatred.
When Kary Mullis invented the polymerase chain reaction for amplifying DNA to detectable levels -- which is more or less responsible for the viability of genetic engineering as a discipline -- the original system was extremely expensive because it used enzymes that got cooked in the high-temperature portion of the cycle. So they went to Yellowstone and found similar enzymes from creatures that lived in geyser pools, which dealt very well with those high temperatures, and that made PCR a viable research tool. So the idea was already there, but -- camels. Dude. I don't think I would ever have made that particular leap.
By the way, the reason they didn't just go back to Yellowstone is because while mammals and birds produce lots of antibodies, other animals either don't at all or don't in a manner that's well understood. (Or at least that's what they were teaching when I took immunochemistry.) Plants and bacteria don't produce them at all. Since an antibody is both incredibly specific and incredibly avid for a given chemical, you can stick their butts to a substrate and their front ends will stick out just waiting to attach to their chosen molecule -- much like a leech, if you've ever seen how they work when they're in water.
Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
Here I am on my second pint of Timmy's(*) in two hours, longing to be a sensitive type.
(* Coffee)
.. paranoid crackpot leftover from the days of Amiga.
I mean, it's nice to know but I tend to go by the adjust until satisfied method. I mean, would you let a good cup of coffee go to waste just cause it only has half the caffeine? Of course not! You drink it and go get another! =)
Now it can go Llama Llama Dunk...
Loser
Jane: Doctor, what does the test say? Am I pregnant?
Doctor: No, Jane, you're not pregnant. But according to this stick you should switch to decaf.
Anybody want a peanut?
Again a lot of it depends on how much the employees like the job (directly tied to the ratio of nice friendly customers to jerks), but the coffee at the Speedway where I worked was pretty good. Not quite a fancy candy-coffee like the local coffee houses, but not a bad cuppa.
One of the other stores where I subbed in occasion (ie lotta jerks who got switched to decaf), the coffee never tasted quite right because the machines weren't cleaned as often as they should have been nor were the grinders and percolators checked to see if they were measuring the product right.
Next to the coffee pots were all the usual additives, and nice little sugar bowl containing a mixture of pure caffeine and powdered sugar, labled "Caffeine: 100mg/tsp". The average cup of joe contains about 100mg naturally, so a couple of teaspoons of this sweetener would make expresso look like diet cola!
The truly frightening thing was watching some students add four or five teaspoons to their double-brewed black death fluid in the mornings.
Eliminate the coffee, and its subsequent need to be tested, altogether?
...But I digress. TREMBLE PUNY HUMANS!ONE DAY MY SPECIES WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!
Continuing on the parent's idea of making the stick turn pink if you have the right amount of caffeine, I can't help imagining the following 1980s coffee commercial inspired scenario:
Announcer: We secretly replaced this woman's home pregnancy test with a caffeination dip stick. Let's watch as she reads the results....
Woman: [ faints ]
Announcer: There you have it, folks.
it is fairly common in the evironmental remediation industry to test for caffeine in soil samples and ground water, as a way to determine location of sewer leakage.
you see, caffeine goes right through the body and leaves as caffeine. In most of the world, there are no natural caffeine sources. So, if you detect it, there is a good chance it came from that possible faulty sewer line.
usually these tests are done in a lab, but quick, on-site tests via something like this could provide an easy 1st pass diagnosis.
cue the jokes, but this just goes to show that there could well be other uses of this product.
This is good news for diabetics. Hope they get it working.
You'll need to add a cup for every year you drink lots of coffee. I can drink 15 cups and still be tired now, after 20 years of hard-core stimulant abuse.
Man, you really need that seminar!
Decaf? That stuff still around?
If you don't want caffeine drink WATER! Whats next. A test that tells you chocolate has calories. Nicotine detector for cigarets?
I know their is intelligent live out there because it doesn't visit us.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Pervert.
n3g
what else was in that gelcap besides the 325mg of caffine, eh? cornstarch, at least, probably stabilizers and carnuba wax...
There's definately caffeine in coffee.
(still no cure for cancer)
It's true no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a good raft.