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Jobs' Glass Elevator Locks in Group Customers
Juha-Matti Laurio writes "Not eight days after Apple's new New York flagship store was unveiled, Stevie Jobs' fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained. Close-up picture included to the source story as well."
Their elevator got switched with David Blaine's next project...
I guess Microsoft isn't the only proprietary software company trying vendor lock in
or "Serves Apple right for having an (aero) glass lift, instead of an aqua lift!"
or "I wonder if someone overapplied thermal paste to the hydraulics?"
or "NEVER EVER ride first generation hydraulic lifts, everyone knows that."
or "Thank GOD it wasn't a vista lift!"
or "Stuck in a glass Elevator - experience agoraphobia, demophobia and claustrophobia at the same time!"
Thanks, thanks, I'll be here all night, try the sea bass!
There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
Steve Jobs met with the distressed shoppers after the incident explaining to them that a security guard had innocently used his Windows laptop to attempt to connect to the store's wireless network.
Jobs showed them diagrams detailing the "evil karma waves" that essentially attacked all the flowers and love that powered the magical glass elevator. He assured the agitated shoppers that there was no one to blame but Bill Gates for their inconvenience. It was proven repeatedly by a brain-washing commercial of two men standing next to each other. It is indicated that one is a PC running Windows and has to shut down during the conversation. The shoppers were encouraged to watch the video as many times as possible and to continue shopping afterward. Although humans don't run operating systems and this ad was farcical, it worked like a charm as it did with millions of Americans.
The shoppers were encouraged to think back to times when they might have been in a home or used in their own home that had a Windows network running wirelessly. Did they recall any of their family or loved ones falling ill during prolonged exposure to Windows wireless packets? They were also encouraged to share these experiences with one another and reinforce the idea that Windows is nothing but pure evil.
My work here is dung.
"Now that's what I call customer lock-in!"
"Best customer retention plan ever!"
anyone else have a few?
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Stevie Job's fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky,
Why isn't anyone talking about the girl that got transformed into a blueberry? There's a cover-up, I tell you!
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." -Albert Einstein
For more information, click here.
Shame the elevator was glass and not made the transparent material Apple use to coat ipods with.
The customers could've just scratched their way out.
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
Not if you like to do the same things as I do in stalled elevators with perfect strangers.
Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
Why isn't anyone talking about the girl that got transformed into a blueberry?
Actually, she was turned into a Blackberry. The reason no one is talking about it is that they're still trying to unravel the IP issues.
--MarkusQ
They're all out of work. Their jobs have all been outsourced and are now done by munchkins for a fraction of the salary.
-Stephen
I don't see why the elevator being glass would interfere with your ability to get shot down by total strangers.
From the submission: Juha-Matti Laurio writes "Not eight days after Apple's new New York flagship store was unveiled, Stevie Job's fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained. Close-up picture included to the source story as well."
From the Engadget article linked in the submission: Well, that was fast. Not eight days after Apple's new flagship store was unveiled, Stevie J.'s fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained, and the confined group was let out in the store's bowels (i.e. lower level).
They even ripped off the nonsensical title of the article itself!
Slashdot title: Apple: Jobs' Glass Elevator Locks in Group Customers
Engadget title: Jobs' glass elevator locks in group customers.
Shouldn't there be an 'of' in there? Maybe an 'a'? I'm thinking "Jobs' glass elevator locks in a group of customers." But the submitter couldn't even be bothered to add three little letters to make it a read more smoothly.
Slashdot submitter: Juha-Matti Laurio.
Engadget blogger: Ryan Block.
Removing a couple phrases and tacking one sentence of your own onto the end of the submission does NOT make it your own original work. If you're going to rip off your source word-for-word, at least have the courtesy to cite them instead of representing their work as your own.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-do
I've got a brand new computer for you
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-drool
Let's just face it, it looks really cool.
Haven't you seen the ads on TV?
Only old nerdy guys use PCs.
Or else your files will all get hacked
Why don't you all just get a Mac?
Then we'll let you out of there.
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-zod
While you are at it, get an iPod
Then you'll live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do!
Ever hear the one about the agoraphobic, agnostic, dyslectic, insomniac?
Stayed up all night, in a glass elevator, wondering if there really is a Dog.
Attracted by a flashy, hip marketing and packaging, customers flocked to the Mac store. Once entering the "Mac World", customers found their experience, while aesthetically pleasing, was glitchy and bugged. Soon the customers realised that their Mac Experience was an exclusive experience, with no options outside the Mac World. While they could still see the outside world, they were not allowed to interact with it. The feeling of being trapped set in. Once serious problems began to develop, Mac was unable to solve the problems it had created and was force to call in a third party to undo to mess.
Scalability.