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Jobs' Glass Elevator Locks in Group Customers
Juha-Matti Laurio writes "Not eight days after Apple's new New York flagship store was unveiled, Stevie Jobs' fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained. Close-up picture included to the source story as well."
Their elevator got switched with David Blaine's next project...
I guess Microsoft isn't the only proprietary software company trying vendor lock in
or "Serves Apple right for having an (aero) glass lift, instead of an aqua lift!"
or "I wonder if someone overapplied thermal paste to the hydraulics?"
or "NEVER EVER ride first generation hydraulic lifts, everyone knows that."
or "Thank GOD it wasn't a vista lift!"
or "Stuck in a glass Elevator - experience agoraphobia, demophobia and claustrophobia at the same time!"
Thanks, thanks, I'll be here all night, try the sea bass!
There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
"Ha! Ha!".
++troll;
Steve Jobs met with the distressed shoppers after the incident explaining to them that a security guard had innocently used his Windows laptop to attempt to connect to the store's wireless network.
Jobs showed them diagrams detailing the "evil karma waves" that essentially attacked all the flowers and love that powered the magical glass elevator. He assured the agitated shoppers that there was no one to blame but Bill Gates for their inconvenience. It was proven repeatedly by a brain-washing commercial of two men standing next to each other. It is indicated that one is a PC running Windows and has to shut down during the conversation. The shoppers were encouraged to watch the video as many times as possible and to continue shopping afterward. Although humans don't run operating systems and this ad was farcical, it worked like a charm as it did with millions of Americans.
The shoppers were encouraged to think back to times when they might have been in a home or used in their own home that had a Windows network running wirelessly. Did they recall any of their family or loved ones falling ill during prolonged exposure to Windows wireless packets? They were also encouraged to share these experiences with one another and reinforce the idea that Windows is nothing but pure evil.
My work here is dung.
They could have just used the Ompa Lompas isn't it their job to fix the glass elevator and the rest of the chocolate factory?
GeekServ Unix Consulting Services (http://www.geekserv.com)
Only Google does good betas....
"All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
"Now that's what I call customer lock-in!"
"Best customer retention plan ever!"
anyone else have a few?
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Stevie Job's fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky,
Why isn't anyone talking about the girl that got transformed into a blueberry? There's a cover-up, I tell you!
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." -Albert Einstein
For more information, click here.
Don't you all just love how Apple stuff Just Works(tm)?
FROM: sjobs@apple.com
SUBJECT: My Glass Toy Needs Coverage, Assholes
PRIORITY: Ludicrous
Phil,
My magnificent glass box elevator in New York, which is in no way derivative of the crystal pyramid entrance to the Louvre in Paris, did not receive quite enough press coverage at the unveiling.
Please arrange to have someone locked in until they shit their pants.
thx - Steve
If Jesus wants me it knows where to find me.
Shame the elevator was glass and not made the transparent material Apple use to coat ipods with.
The customers could've just scratched their way out.
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
This proves it. Apple is a bad elevator company.
What kind of news is this? It's an elevator. The only thing "innovative" is the use of transparent materials for the fashion components. The rest of it is plain old off-the-shelf engineering in a plain old retail store. If a two-story CompUSA outlet has elevator trouble in its first month, it's not a major Slashdot story, it's not even a Joe "Windows 4ever" Sixpack blog story.
[
Not if you like to do the same things as I do in stalled elevators with perfect strangers.
Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
Sure the UI has some issues, but it looks so beautiful!
Coding with assembly is like playing with Legos. Coding an application in assembly is like building a car with Legos.
Why isn't anyone talking about the girl that got transformed into a blueberry?
Actually, she was turned into a Blackberry. The reason no one is talking about it is that they're still trying to unravel the IP issues.
--MarkusQ
I don't see why the elevator being glass would interfere with your ability to get shot down by total strangers.
Our esteemed president addressed the poor language skills of the nation's youth, asking wisely, "Is our children learning?"
Hi, I'm a Mac elevator, I'm sexy and sleek, and never lock u-
Hi, I'm a PC elevator, I've been around for decades, so you know I'm relia- AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! *SMASH*
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
Obligatory Jokes:
People who live in glass elevators shouldn't throw Macs
The glass elevator was originally designed as a way to get around the glass ceiling
The elevator had a kernel panic because someone forgot to run the optimize program
Thank God it was running OSX, so it just froze a single elevator instead of crashing the whole store.
Does the elevator control panel show a Sad Elevator Icon when it stops working?
In Soviet Russia, Trojan exploits YOU!
Breath in,
:(?
Did the elevator show a big unhappy face
Someone must have dual booted the elevator to run Windows.
The G4 Cube reincarnated as an elevator, if they waited long enough, the sides of the elevator would have cracked and released them.
Its typical of Apple to make something look good, but ignore some obvious working defect.
Its not that the doors wouldn't open, someone forgot to take the plastic off the elevator!!!!!!
Breath out!
OK, I am done.
-
- Don't mod me down because the original article was a waste of time too!
I haven't thought of anything clever to put here, but then again most of you haven't either.
Aw, come on. You know that if Microsoft had built an obnoxious-looking store in the middle of New York and the elevator broke, we would be neck-deep in "must have been running Windows XP Elevator Edition" jokes. You must see at least a little humor in this story.
From the submission: Juha-Matti Laurio writes "Not eight days after Apple's new New York flagship store was unveiled, Stevie Job's fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained. Close-up picture included to the source story as well."
From the Engadget article linked in the submission: Well, that was fast. Not eight days after Apple's new flagship store was unveiled, Stevie J.'s fantastical glass elevator began acting a bit wonky, first opening and shutting its doors, then finally sealing in its passengers on the upper level. Apple store employees worked their hardest to release the bunch, but eventually the NYPD had to be called; the elevator's hydraulic system had to be drained, and the confined group was let out in the store's bowels (i.e. lower level).
They even ripped off the nonsensical title of the article itself!
Slashdot title: Apple: Jobs' Glass Elevator Locks in Group Customers
Engadget title: Jobs' glass elevator locks in group customers.
Shouldn't there be an 'of' in there? Maybe an 'a'? I'm thinking "Jobs' glass elevator locks in a group of customers." But the submitter couldn't even be bothered to add three little letters to make it a read more smoothly.
Slashdot submitter: Juha-Matti Laurio.
Engadget blogger: Ryan Block.
Removing a couple phrases and tacking one sentence of your own onto the end of the submission does NOT make it your own original work. If you're going to rip off your source word-for-word, at least have the courtesy to cite them instead of representing their work as your own.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx
I imagine it would be a little more frustrating as you can see your freedom but are kept from it by a mere sheet of glass. People would be walking by looking at you trapped, other customers would be happily walking up and down the stairs, while you have to sit there on display feeling silly. That and wishing you had put on sunscreen before entering the elevator of doom. Or something.
Ah, the feeling of helplessness caused by something so minor, this has all the makings of a british comedy.
I was going to post, "Now that is what I call Platform Lock-In!"
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
I just reported it on Apple's Bug Reporter site. Feedback helps them improve their products and services, you know.
Didn't anyone tell them NOT to press the red button?
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-do I've got a brand new computer for you Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-drool Let's just face it, it looks really cool. Haven't you seen the ads on TV? Only old nerdy guys use PCs. Or else your files will all get hacked Why don't you all just get a Mac? Then we'll let you out of there. Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-zod While you are at it, get an iPod Then you'll live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do!
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-do
I've got a brand new computer for you
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-drool
Let's just face it, it looks really cool.
Haven't you seen the ads on TV?
Only old nerdy guys use PCs.
Or else your files will all get hacked
Why don't you all just get a Mac?
Then we'll let you out of there.
Oompa loompa doom-pa-dee-zod
While you are at it, get an iPod
Then you'll live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do!
In keeping with Apple Design Philosophy®, we designed the elevator with only one button, and, well ....
Is it just me, or does the person at the front of the elevator holding the bag look "odd" ?
It looks like a guys head/hair cut, some moderately muscular arms... wearing a SKIRT, white panty hose, and womens shoes!
Oh, wait... Its an Apple store. Nevermind, nothing to see here.
Open Source Time and Attendance, Job Costing a
... of those Apple ads on TV with the PC computer locking up two or three times, while the Mac keeps running.
I'm kind of not surprised. I was in line on the first day and had front row (er, "line," rather) seats. A work crew was fiddling with the elevator all day - up to maybe about 2 hours before opening. It raised some eyebrows with us. We joked about how it would be funny if Steve Jobs got stuck in it.
Ever hear the one about the agoraphobic, agnostic, dyslectic, insomniac?
Stayed up all night, in a glass elevator, wondering if there really is a Dog.
Attracted by a flashy, hip marketing and packaging, customers flocked to the Mac store. Once entering the "Mac World", customers found their experience, while aesthetically pleasing, was glitchy and bugged. Soon the customers realised that their Mac Experience was an exclusive experience, with no options outside the Mac World. While they could still see the outside world, they were not allowed to interact with it. The feeling of being trapped set in. Once serious problems began to develop, Mac was unable to solve the problems it had created and was force to call in a third party to undo to mess.
Lemme see... *glass* elevator, it *froze*... must be running Windows!!
I wonder if anyone's tried cross-posting this story to digg. Oh. wait.. sorry. right.
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."- Friedrich Nietzsche
I'm working in a building near the apple store; let me tell you, the elevator is not that big of a deal. The staircase is so short, it's very surprising that people use the elevator (save, obviously, the disabled.) Walking down the steps is part of the experience :)
When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi. (Larry Wall)
Sag.
Just be happy you didn't ride the elevators at Redmond, they just crash.
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