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Huge Storms Converge on Jupiter

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the things-that-go-bump-in-the-night dept.

tpoker writes to tell us NASA is reporting that the two biggest storms in the solar system are about to collide on Jupiter. From the article: "Storm #1 is the Great Red Spot, twice as wide as Earth itself, with winds blowing 350 mph. The behemoth has been spinning around Jupiter for hundreds of years. Storm #2 is Oval BA, also known as 'Red Jr.,' a youngster of a storm only six years old. Compared to the Great Red Spot, Red Jr. is half-sized, able to swallow Earth merely once, but it blows just as hard as its older cousin."

26 of 205 comments (clear)

  1. Nice job, editors! by grogdamighty · · Score: 5, Funny
    The summary is spot on! (Ba-dum, chink!)

    But seriously, did anyone else think that Hollywood is going to use this as the background for The Perfect Storm II?

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    My other sig is funny.
    1. Re:Nice job, editors! by Kagura · · Score: 5, Funny

      ... able to swallow Earth merely once, but it blows just as hard as its older cousin."

      Mmm... incestulicious!

  2. Blows as hard as the older cousin... by eric_ste · · Score: 5, Funny

    And she could swallow earth.

    At 350Mph, that's what I call a massive blow job...

  3. The Environmentalists Are Right. by bombadier_beetle · · Score: 5, Funny

    Clearly, this is evidence of Jovial warming.

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    If you mod me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
    1. Re:The Environmentalists Are Right. by Bob+Cat+-+NYMPHS · · Score: 4, Funny

      Jovial warming

      What, is that supposed to fill us with conviviality and good cheer? ;)

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    2. Re:The Environmentalists Are Right. by aonifer · · Score: 2, Funny

      Jovial warming + Big Red Spot = Santa Claus!

  4. Oh, great. by HisMother · · Score: 5, Funny
    the two biggest storms in the solar system are about to collide on Jupiter.

    Crap. There go my weekend plans.

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    Cantankerous old coot since 1957.
  5. looting martians by legomad · · Score: 5, Funny

    Martian looters will be shot on sight.

  6. ahh by ezwip · · Score: 5, Funny

    Red Jr. is half-sized, able to swallow Earth merely once, but it blows just as hard as its older cousin. Ahh yes, I dated them in highschool.

    --
    "I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
    1. Re:ahh by cpsc2005 · · Score: 1, Funny

      Ahh yes, I dated them in highschool.

      Ahh, so you admit to being a pedophile (Red Spot Jr., 6 years) and a fetishist (Red Spot, >300 years.)

  7. What I want to know... by wtansill · · Score: 4, Funny

    is what FEMA intends to do about this?

    --
    The contest for ages has been to rescue liberty from the grasp of executive power. -- Daniel Webster
    1. Re:What I want to know... by Fex303 · · Score: 2, Funny
      What I want to know is what FEMA intends to do about this?
      Nothing for the next couple of years. Once they collide, everyone will insist that no-one could have predicted it.

      I'm sure there's a joke about horse shows here somewhere, too...

  8. Wise Man Say by isecore · · Score: 5, Funny

    When it blows on Jupiter, better cover Uranus.

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    I enjoy large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate.
  9. I think we'll be sure to hear... by darkrowan · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... that our local news source will be running around the clock coverage of 'Jupiter Storewatch 2006'

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    AccountKiller
  10. Extraterrestrial weather reports? by howlingfrog · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't care about weather reports for cities 500 miles away, so why should I care about weather reports for a planet 500 million miles away???

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    The original Howling Frog is a fictional character and has no UID.
  11. Umm... by Davus · · Score: 5, Funny

    a youngster of a storm only six years old. Compared to the Great Red Spot, Red Jr. is half-sized, able to swallow Earth merely once, but it blows just as hard as its older cousin."
    I'm not sure what intergalactic law is, but over here, we call that "statutory rape".

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    1. Re:Umm... by alienmole · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dude, you're on Slashdot. If you were some bimbo news anchor on MSNBC you could get away with saying intergalactic. But this isn't even interstellar! It's in our own solar system, for crying out loud. The word you want is "interplanetary". Hey, and don't thank me - I kill jokes for free.

  12. Discrimination, I tell you by patio11 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why does Slashdot always accuse Martians of looting but when Earthlings do it its merely "copyright infringement"? Discrimination, that's why. Why the prejudice against the Martians? If you prick them, do they not ooze?

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    Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
    1. Re:Discrimination, I tell you by Jesus_666 · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, it's entirely justified. You see, when the Interplanetary Crime Organization was formed the duties for planet-wide disaster related crimes were divided on a per-planet basis: Martians conned us into giving them a monopoly on looting, people from Mercury and Venus pillage and those from the outer planets commit insurance fraud. Earth was a bit late to the game and now we're stuck with gratutious copyright infringement.

      In case you're wondering which planet-wide desaster allows us to infringe Earth copyrights at the moment just take a look at the software, movie and music markets.

      --
      USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
  13. Re:I would love to see it happen by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    I LOVE astronomy. I think it is simply the most profound thing that we have been able to take the eye and stretch it to points beyond imagination...

    If I was a god I think I would want to piss you off for being too poetic. I would have both spots rotate behind Jupiter as usual, and then *nothing* come about the other side when they should rotate back into view. Zilch spots and zilch hints about where they went. It would be so much fun to F with people's brains. I wouldn't physically hurt my subjects, just puzzle the sh*t out of them for the shear fun hell of it. (I suppose the real gods knew this and that is why I am just a mortal. Curses, foiled again.)

    -T-

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    Table-ized A.I.
  14. Re:Collide? by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    What signifies about this particular encounter is that the small oval is thought to be intensified its strength recently (when its color changed from grey to red)...

    Biggest damned mood ring I've ever seen.

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  15. Global Warming by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I personally blame global warming for these super storms. People need to cut back on their motor vehicle use or other planets may suffer the same fate.

  16. Re:Global Warming by MosesJones · · Score: 2, Funny

    but the utterly non-scientific way it is presented in the media

    You don't have to watch Fox.

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    An Eye for an Eye will make the whole world blind - Gandhi
  17. Re:Global Warming by MichaelSmith · · Score: 2, Funny
    Clearly the only possible explanation is human involvement!

    There was that RTG on Galileo...

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    http://michaelsmith.id.au
  18. FEMA Response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    FEMA has 1,300 disaster assistance workers pre-positioned, and re-instated FEMA Director Michael Brown has assured the president they are ready for the storm.

    "FEMA is not going to hesitate at all in this storm," Brown said. "We are not going to sit back and make this a bureaucratic process. We are going to move fast, we are going to move quickly and we are going to do whatever it takes to help victims."

    -w.a.

  19. Obligatory Futurama by lbmouse · · Score: 3, Funny

    Professor: "I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
    Fry: "Oh. What's it called now?"
    Professor: "Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you."