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Rumormongering - Apple Could Buy Nintendo?

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the idle-friday-arguments dept.

An anonymous reader writes "CNET wonders if 'Apple is about to frag the gaming community with a revelation that could shake Microsoft to its core: Apple will buy Nintendo. What could be more quintessentially left-field Apple behaviour than buying out the U.S.'s number three games console manufacturer?' The article goes on to compare the companies, saying 'both have followings whose brand dedication verges on the religiously devout' and design styles that are so similar that 'the Nintendo DS Lite practically looks like Jonathan Ive built it.' The writer says an Apple and Nintendo merger will 'penetrate the mainstream consumer market with Macintosh computers'. The possible outcome of a merger would be a console based around the Mac Mini. As for whether Apple have the cash to pull it off: 'Cisco was rumoured to be looking at a purchase of Nintendo earlier in the year, so the idea of Nintendo being bought is not outlandish in itself. Apple's market cap is $51.7bn (Nintendo's is $23.1bn)'"

20 of 377 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Stupid. by Umbral+Blot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes, you have to wonder: was this article secretely written by Dvorak?

    --

    Philosophy.
  2. Huh? by MuckSavage · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait, wasn't sony buying apple? No wait. Disney was buying apple. No, crap. Pixar is buying disney. No that's not it. Microsoft bought apple back in '95! No, that's not right.

    I'm so confused.

  3. and soon... by tonigonenstein · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...Apple might buy Apple

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    The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
  4. AHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA by WedgeTalon · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is one of the silliest things I've read all week.

    Yes, the very profitable Nintendo is going to sell themselves to the maker of the Pippin. That would be a brilliant move!

    1. Re:AHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA by thatguywhoiam · · Score: 2, Funny
      Yes, the very profitable Nintendo is going to sell themselves to the maker of the Pippin [wikipedia.org]. That would be a brilliant move!

      More like, the very profitable Apple would never agree to acquire the maker of the Virtual Boy. (While we are dragging out ancient history of course.)

      --
      If Jesus wants me it knows where to find me.
  5. whatever by aleksiel · · Score: 5, Funny

    apple could buy /., too, for its new sleek, stylish look

  6. The Apple Purchase/Speculation Game! by ettlz · · Score: 5, Funny
    Join players like Dvorak and so forth in predicting: What will Apple Computers buy/do next? No qualifications are needed. In fact, they're recommended against! So, what will your speculation be? Is Apple going to...
    • buy Nintendo?
    • buy a fertilizer factory in Peru?
    • go into the soft drinks business?
    • open an on-line strip-joint and call it iBoobs?
    • start shipping marvellously good-looking military hardware?
    It's all open for speculation — 'cause in this game, there are no rules, and nobody really gives a fuck anyway!
    1. Re:The Apple Purchase/Speculation Game! by flooey · · Score: 3, Funny

      Don't spread it around, but I've got $100 at 300-1 on Apple getting into the produce business. It'd be genius!

    2. Re:The Apple Purchase/Speculation Game! by AKAImBatman · · Score: 2, Funny

      All your speculations are wrong. Everyone knows that Apple will be buying off Starbuck's automobile division.

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      Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
    3. Re:The Apple Purchase/Speculation Game! by kabocox · · Score: 2, Funny

      Is Apple going to...

              * buy Nintendo?
              * buy a fertilizer factory in Peru?
              * go into the soft drinks business?
              * open an on-line strip-joint and call it iBoobs?
              * start shipping marvellously good-looking military hardware?

      All of the above! Here would be Apple's long term fun plan: 1. Make a "next-generation" game console called i-Game that'll be the name of the system after Wii. The soft drink will be iJuice. The Fertilizer Factory in Peru will be used building explosives for their military hardware. Apple's Military toys will be iGrunt, iExplode, and iKill. The Online Strip Joint will be cover for their covert ops plan to steal industrial design ideas from Unlikely Sources, Inc, and it'll be code named iSpy.

    4. Re:The Apple Purchase/Speculation Game! by Criffer · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'd go with the "marvellously good-looking military hardware". I can't wait to get my hands on one of their iSurfaceToAirMissile (or iSam). Looks just like an iPod, can take out a stealth bomber and has a 50GB hard drive!

  7. Reliable sources by flooey · · Score: 2, Funny
    From TFA:

    Between howling at the moon, these looneys point to...

    But somewhere in the looney's mind, is there a scintilla of logic? A tiny fragment of truth spluttering for breath in the soup of madness?

    The newsgroups are constantly awash with the dregs of idle wondering,...

    Even the writer doesn't appear to have any confidence in the idea.
  8. Sun first ... by cpu_fusion · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'd expect Apple to buy Sun first. Sun would be less expensive to buy, and would come with some crown jewels (Java, Solaris, Workstations) that would fit in nicely with Apple's platform and OS strategy.

    Buying Nintendo wouldn't make any sense, as Apple has indicated litle desire to get involved in the games market.

  9. I want to be a web writer. by supabeast! · · Score: 4, Funny

    I want to work for CNET or some similar company as a hypothetical business analyst. I want to get paid to show up for work stoned, sit down, and write random stories about how big companies could hypothetically buy each other, or release new product lines, or exit entire markets, based on nothing more than my being to stoned to write something worthwhile. Then I'll want my boss to try and pass my garbage writing off as news, and later complain when the old media, politicians, and the general public refuse to take online journalism seriously.

    I can't believe that they actually pay people to write that shit. What's worth, I can't believe how many bloggers and link aggregators keep linking to them.

  10. Merged entity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    will be called Nipple

  11. Thought Proccess of an Industry Analyst by tourvil · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hmm, Nintendo's releasing a new console this year.

    Oh look, it's all white and shiny.

    Hey, Apple makes white and shiny things...

    OMG! Apple is going to buy out Nintendo! *hurries off to write an article*

  12. Get it right! by Infonaut · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm so confused.

    Sheesh. The incompetence around here. IBM is buying Apple. Actually, before that happens, Apple will buy Nintendo. Then IBM will buy Sun, at which point IBM/Sun/Apple/Nintendo (iSunNipple) will buy out Disney/Pixar. From there, world domination is pretty much assured, as iNippleDix will be unstoppable.

    --
    Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
  13. Unexplained packages by ewg · · Score: 4, Funny
    I've been wondering what some of these mystery packages are for.
    • /System/Library/Extensions/Wiimote.kext
    • /System/Library/Frameworks/GBAKit.framework
    • /System/Library/CoreServices/Encodings/libSpacePir ateConverter.dylib
    • /Developer/Applications/Utilities/RacoonSuit.app
    Not to mention this /Users/mario directory I can't seem to read...
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    org.slashdot.post.SignatureNotFoundException: ewg
  14. Re:Stupid. by dorkygeek · · Score: 2, Funny
    To be fair, Dvorak did guess the x86 switch for Apple.

    Heh, sure he did. And 10 years later, Apple actually switched!

    --
    Windows is like decaf - it tastes like the real thing, but it won't get you through the day.
  15. Re:[Severely OT] Re: Stupid. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    No, "foci" would be correct, and where's the fun in that?

    I'm voting that we go with focae. Let's try it in a sentence.

    I'm very proud of my new Beowolf cluster. Searching the net for new virii, and participating in SETI-at-home are the main focae of these boxen.


    I like it.