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DARPA Developing 'Droid' Satellites
eliot1785 writes "DARPA is now developing a new breed of satellites that can be precision-maneuvered in unison and easily perform advanced operations with built-in sensors, computers and thrusters. From the article: 'David Miller, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Space Systems Laboratory, says such satellites might be used for such tasks as building giant space telescopes and closely monitoring Earth. The shuttle Discovery last week delivered the second of three satellite test "droids" that are undergoing experiments at the International Space Station.'"
I think we've got nothing, sir. The report is only a fragment from a probe droid in the Gulf states, but it's the best lead we've had.
Donald RUMSFELD
[ irritated ]
We have thousands of probe droids searching Iraq. I want justification, not proof!
POWELL
The visuals indicate oil, but no terrorists.
RUMSFELD
We could make it mean anything. As long as we ignored every other lead...
POWELL
But, sir, Iraq is supposed to be devoid of terrorists.
Lord BUSH
You found something?
RUMSFELD
Yes, my lord.
[ He points to a blurry image of an oil well on a monitor ]
BUSH
That's it. The terrarists are there.
POWELL
My lord, there are so many uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers, it could be...
BUSH
That is the system. And I'm sure bin Laden is with them. Set your course for Baghdad. General POWELL, prepare your men.
John
These nine pound balls of your spacial tax dollars could become:
1) garbage collectors for all the space junk out there in orbit around us
2) a new and interesting way of getting rid of those pesky competing satellites
3) spiffy stratosphere-bouncing little comm links
4) ways to make sure that Indian satellites don't achieve orbit
5) new and interesting ways of avoiding Azimov's Laws of Robots-- including the Zeroeth Law
It was inevitable.
---- Teach Peace. It's Cheaper Than War.
OBI-N LADEN: These are not the droids you're looking for. *handwave*
PREDATOR DRONE: No, but this drone is looking for you. *boom*
OBI-N LADEN: That sucked. Oh well, being a blue glowie in paradise isn't so bad. Yo Yallah, how about the 72 virgins?
YALLAH: Get the message, you did not. Raisins, I promised.
OBI-N LADEN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
DARTH VADER: Thats my line, idiot.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
...they weren't the droids I was looking for.
What are 'druid' satellites? Do they go around in the sky casting spells?
Oh wait, that was droid. Never mind.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
If they don't make the "DREGALARABADRAB-DEAGALARBAB" sound like they did in Star Wars, I'll bee disappointed no matter what the scientific outcome.
I can't believe that joke hasn't been posted yet.
Enjoy your Karma, after all you earned it. Feel your Karma Joe, feel it burn.