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The Sharpest Object Ever Made

ultracool writes "Forget the phrase 'sharp as a tack.' Now, thanks to new University of Alberta research, the popular expression might become, 'sharp as a single atom tip formed by chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporation.' Maybe it doesn't roll off the tongue as easily, but considering the researchers have created the sharpest object ever made, it would be accurate."

41 of 304 comments (clear)

  1. The birth of a new acronym: by dubmun · · Score: 5, Funny

    single atom tip formed by chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporation: SATFBCASCFE. Sharp as a SATFBCASCFE... hmmm maybe not.

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    (end of post)
    1. Re:The birth of a new acronym: by dubmun · · Score: 3, Funny

      pronounced KASK-feht? I like it!

      You are sharp as a CASCFET!

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      (end of post)
    2. Re:The birth of a new acronym: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      or...

      "Single Tip of Atom By Field (Assisted & Controlled) Evaporation)

      STABFACE

    3. Re:The birth of a new acronym: by 955301 · · Score: 4, Funny

      How about

      SCAT-CAFE

      Spacially Controlled Atom Tip by Chemically Assisted Field Evaporation.

      I think it might dooo fine so long as nobody digs up the meaning of scat.

      --
      You are checking your backups, aren't you?
    4. Re:The birth of a new acronym: by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 4, Funny
      SCAT-CAFE

      That plus it adds the punchline to, "Where do dung-beatles go for a light meal?"

      --
      If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
    5. Re:The birth of a new acronym: by fotoflojoe · · Score: 2, Funny

      single atom tip formed by chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporation: SATFBCASCFE. Sharp as a SATFBCASCFE... hmmm maybe not.

      "Well, he's not the sharpest SATFBCASCFE in the drawer."
      Oh, wait...

    6. Re:The birth of a new acronym: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Single Atom Tip by Field Evaporation, Controlling Everything Spatially

      For everyone else, it'll be known as "SAT by FECES"

  2. Nitrogen? by m_chan · · Score: 5, Funny

    "they were able to coat peripheral atoms near the peak with nitrogen"

    Nitrogen?? That chunk who wears a dress-size seven? She sneezes crisco. Sharp? Yeah, like a marble. Wake me up when we get to Kate Moss waif-like Hydrogen. Then I can carve my initials on tubby Boron.

  3. Too complicated by AKAImBatman · · Score: 4, Funny
    Forget the phrase 'sharp as a tack.' Now, thanks to new University of Alberta research, the popular expression might become, 'sharp as a single atom tip formed by chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporation.

    How about, "sharper than a tack?"

    Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
  4. Still not as sharp as... by MikeB0Lton · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...Chuck Norris

    1. Re:Still not as sharp as... by NetDanzr · · Score: 3, Funny

      I don't know what's more funny: the fact that this comment appears modded as "Insightful", the fact that 30% Funny, 30% Overrated and 20% Troll combine for an "Insightful" rating, or the fact that the three moderation categories don't add to 100%.

  5. Sharp? by tygerstripes · · Score: 4, Funny

    I won't be impressed until they split the atom. Now THAT will be a shiny pin.

    --
    Meta will eat itself
  6. Re:Get dull? by Golias · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well over time knives get dull from use. unless I'm mistaken, this one atom could easily break off, right? Wouldn't it be instantly dull?

    As long as it is only used to poke really soft, non-abrasive things, you should be good to go.

    Of course, some nay-sayers might ask why you would ever need The Sharpest Object Ever Made to poke holes in chocolate pudding, but who needs that kind of negativity?

    --

    Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

  7. Re:rubbish by a_nonamiss · · Score: 3, Funny
    these people have never seen my dick.
    The end of your dick is as tiny as a nitrogen atom? That's hardly something to brag about...
    --
    -Arthur
    Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules
  8. Time to upgrade my by BigGar' · · Score: 1, Funny

    rapier like wit, to "sharp as a single atom tip formed by chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporation" like wit.

    --


    Shop smart, Shop S-Mart.
  9. Cyberpunk weapons by cHALiTO · · Score: 3, Funny

    Cool! now I can get myself a monokatana!!

    --
    "Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad." -- Terry Pratchett
  10. Bread by certel · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does it still squish the bread?!

  11. Pardon me but, by ericspinder · · Score: 2, Funny
    I didn't think that anyone believed that a tack was the 'sharpest', needles are well know to be very sharp as well. Personally, I think the phrase that I will be forgetting is "sharp as a single atom tip formed by chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporation.", as no other items will be as sharp as it, and I'd have few uses for it.

    I know the submitter is tring to be whitty, but I'd have to use 'sharp as a bowling ball' to describe his attempt. Surely there must have been a better way of announcing this break-through, like "Do you want you pastrami cut thin!".

    --
    The grass is only greener, if you don't take care of your own lawn.
    1. Re:Pardon me but, by hardburn · · Score: 2, Funny

      If by 'witty' you mean "copy-and-pasted first paragraph of the article", then yes, the submitter is witty.

      --
      Not a typewriter
    2. Re:Pardon me but, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      who cuts pastrami with a needle?
      True. How about "Junkies rejoice, new sharper needle may reduce track marks."
  12. According to Mick Dundee... by teknopagan · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's not a knife...

    --
    The Russian Mafia will mod you down just to see if the Moderate button works.
  13. Picture! by the_mind_ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Here is a picture.
    5M x amplification

            .

    --
    You feel sleepy. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
  14. Second sharpest object catching up quickly by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    The second sharpest object, Ann Coulter's cheek bones, seems to be getting more and more honed by the week. Those University of Alberta researchers better work quickly to keep the lead.

  15. Super thin. by Soygen · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's the greatest thing since atomically-thin sliced bread.

  16. But... by NickeB · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can it cut through armor and still slice a tomato?

  17. Oblig - by caffeinatedOnline · · Score: 4, Funny

    I for one welcome our new chemically assisted spatially controlled field evaporated tip overlords... hmmm... that doesn't roll off the tongue well, now does it?

    --
    The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel...
    1. Re:Oblig - by Martin+Blank · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, but it does sound more terrifying. Big words scare people.

      --
      You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there.
  18. Um, Yeah, That's Funny... by Doomedsnowball · · Score: 4, Funny

    From TFA: These sharp tips are needed for making contact with metals or semiconductors as well as for the manipulation and examination of atoms, molecules and small particles. Ultrafine tips are demanded for future experiments where the results are directly dependent on shape of the tip.

    This is HUGE news in the nano scanning tunnel microscope world! Combined with the ability to determine an electrons spin, this could really open up new research results in a lot of fields. Good to see so many comedians on /. Lotta sharp wits.

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    7h3$3 4r3n'7 7h3 Ðr01Ð$ ¥0 4r3 £00|{1n9 f0r. M0v3 4£0n9. --OB1
  19. Sharper than my +5 Vorpal Sword? by elrous0 · · Score: 3, Funny
    Sure, this tip is sharp. But keep in mind that it's NOT made of silver. It won't do JACK against the undead.

    -Eric

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    1. Re:Sharper than my +5 Vorpal Sword? by Sinbios · · Score: 5, Funny

      Why the HELL is this modded Insightful.

      --
      Anyone can "stand up for what they believe", but it takes a very brave individual to change what they believe. - Loundry
    2. Re:Sharper than my +5 Vorpal Sword? by NotQuiteReal · · Score: 4, Funny

      Why the hell was THAT modded Insightful?

      --
      This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
    3. Re:Sharper than my +5 Vorpal Sword? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Interviewer: Is it true that vampires like yourself can be killed with a simple wooden stake?
      Vampire: A wooden stake in the heart kills regular folks too, you know.

    4. Re:Sharper than my +5 Vorpal Sword? by CthulhuDreamer · · Score: 2, Funny

      I remember when Vorpal Swords were stuck at +3. Dang kids and their new toys...

  20. or how about... by WheresMyDingo · · Score: 4, Funny

    "sharp as SOAP" where SOAP is Sharpest Object At Present. Then even if something sharper comes along, you don't have to change your phrase, because it is so highly abstracted from the hardware that it hardly means anything anymore.

  21. I hope it's guarded well by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

    The dullest object ever made is being kept safe in the Oval Office.

  22. Re:Get dull? by hardburn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Do they thrown in a russian nuke in a motorcycle side seat with those glass knives?

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    Not a typewriter
  23. Not sharp enough! by RichDiesal · · Score: 3, Funny

    It won't be sharp enough until I can swing the knife in midair, splitting atoms along the way, with a ripple of nuclear fusion in my wake.

    Mad scientists of the world (and Canada), unite to make my dreams come true!!!

  24. OT: related question by NotQuiteReal · · Score: 2, Funny

    What's the dullest object ever made?

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    This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
    1. Re:OT: related question by geekoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      *Looks toward white house*...naw, too damn easy.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    2. Re:OT: related question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      What's the dullest object ever made?

      Depends on who you ask.

      Ask a girl, she'll say "someone who reads Slashdot."

      Ask a slashdot user? You'll get "Slashdot editors."

      An editor will tell you, "Life outside Slashdot."

  25. Re:Get dull? by mranchovy · · Score: 2, Funny
    Naw. Since the bonds holding the atom in place are stronger than, say, the bonds holding the skin of a tomato together, the tip would slide in and through the tomato skin almost as if it weren't there.


    ...cuts tomato slices so thin you can almost see through them! NOW how much would you pay? But wait, there's more!
    --
    I am so smart!
    I am so smart!
    S-M-R-T!
    I mean S-M-A-R-T!