Welcome to The Age of the Web Hermit

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Welcome to The Age of the Web Hermit

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Monday July 17, 2006 @08:02AM from the age-31-lives-in-mom's-basement-hey-waitaminute dept.

tyroneking writes "Phil Hartup on bit-tech.net has captured the Zeitgeist of the web-aware generation: The Age of the Web Hermit describes how some lucky souls can live their lives, earn money, buy necessities and even find love on the Internet. 'Is there anything that we really need good old fashioned Real Life for any more?'; not me!"

19 of 264 comments (clear)

You mean besides SEX?! by twofidyKidd · 2006-07-17 08:04 · Score: 4, Funny

The Internet cannot get you drunk. I should know, I've tried.

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Hades, PoD: Official Advocate
Maybe I'm there... by ErikTheRed · 2006-07-17 08:05 · Score: 3, Funny

I mean, if you consider "reading Slashdot" as "going out and socializing"....

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1. Re:Maybe I'm there... by bazorg · 2006-07-17 10:03 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  people just look like idiots to me when they're drunk, and not in an entertaining way.
  Don't blame them for that, they're semi-conscious. As the conscious one, you're in charge of making things entertaining. Just don't forget to take your camera with you when you go out with your drunken friends. After a few "priceless" pictures, they should reconsider their ways :)
Re:Unless you also use your laptop as a commode... by SgtPepperKSU · 2006-07-17 08:16 · Score: 5, Funny

Are you sure? What makes you feel this way?
Re:What? by drinkypoo · 2006-07-17 08:17 · Score: 5, Funny

In many places in this wide world, you can get pussy delivered.

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"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:Unless you also use your laptop as a commode... by ScentCone · 2006-07-17 08:19 · Score: 3, Funny

Are you sure? What makes you feel this way?

Hah! I knew it!

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Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
Social Hermits? by Anonymous Coward · 2006-07-17 08:19 · Score: 4, Funny

My cronjob web-based order to pizza hut should kick in within the hour. Automatic bill-pay for my bills, telecommute and direct deposit for work...but no, I'm not a friggin hermit. I'm running GAIM and posting to slashdot. I play games online once in a while...that's considered human interaction, right?

If you want a web hermit, go stick a picture of Stallman with the relevance of ESR and you've got yourself your posterboy.

Now if you can give me a dynamic World of Warcraft type immersive game where everyone else is AI, then maybe I'll be a hermit.
Re:What? by Digital+Vomit · 2006-07-17 08:25 · Score: 5, Funny

Problem solved!

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Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
Semi-hermit by kayakun · 2006-07-17 08:26 · Score: 5, Funny

I confess, I'm a hermit. I'm probably one of the very few people who goes to college and spends all his time in his room. I'm not a full-hermit, though, since I do go out to buy groceries and things like that, but my social life is basically non-existent. I don't even have friends in college, and I have maybe a total of 5 people I talk to through IM. Being a hermit isn't that bad, but most importantly, it's my choice. Some people may prefer to hermit themselves due to social anxieties or phobias. At least the Internet makes hermitting more entertaining. The biggest draw-back is probably the lack of physical contact. I haven't received a hug in years. I don't miss talking out-loud much though. As a matter of fact, since I haven't talked in so long, when I talk out-loud my throat gets sore. Ouch.
You go do that by l0ungeb0y · 2006-07-17 08:27 · Score: 3, Funny

Yeah, get it on with your bad web hermit self.
I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who aspire to be a balding fattie eating delivery pizza every day and jacking it to internet pr0n. I hear guys like that drive the women wild.
I consider it natural selection -- self removal from the gene-pool.
Go Darwin go!
Re:Just because you can... by Kesch · 2006-07-17 08:27 · Score: 4, Funny

/hug

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If this signature is witty enough, maybe somebody will like me.
Re:Shut-ins by pixelpusher220 · 2006-07-17 08:34 · Score: 5, Funny

Um...plenty o' fat pipes in prison.

It's just sorta like Soviet Russia.

You don't use the pipe to access society, (prison) society uses the pipe to access YOU!

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People in cars cause accidents....accidents in cars cause people :-D
Luv, twu luv. by nick_davison · 2006-07-17 08:39 · Score: 4, Funny

"Some lucky souls can live their lives, earn money, buy necessities and even find love on the Internet."

Why, those lucky souls truly have everything in the palm of their hand.
You might be a web hermit if... by Bushido+Hacks · 2006-07-17 08:42 · Score: 4, Funny
You might be a web hermit if...
- You lock your self in your room to look at source code.
- When your mom opens the door you yell "Mom, close the door! Your letting the demons out!"
- Your hygene habits resemble that of a svelte Theodore Kaczynski.
- When the power goes out, you immediately stop breathing.
- Goths have stopped by your house and ask if they can hang around your room because it is dark and creapy.
- You secretly write love letters to fictional anime characters.
- You friends (if you have any) have started a chapter of the Secret Snake Club
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The Rapture is NOT an exit strategy.
Re:The internet... by voice_of_all_reason · 2006-07-17 08:45 · Score: 3, Funny

Ah yes, but don't you have to put on your robe and wizard hat first before casting that level 13 Scroll of Engorging?
You have to log off eventually by Hoi+Polloi · 2006-07-17 08:59 · Score: 3, Funny

The ultimate limit on your online time is when you get bedsores on your ass.

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It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
Re:What? by fdiskne1 · 2006-07-17 09:03 · Score: 5, Funny

In many places in this wide world, you can get pussy delivered.

Only on Slashdot could this be modded "Interesting".

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But why is the rum gone?
As Sandra Bullock demonstrated.... by arcite · 2006-07-17 09:13 · Score: 5, Funny

in THE NET: Angela Bennett is a computer expert. This young and beautiful analyst is never far from a computer and modem. The only activity she has outside of computers is visiting her mother. A friend, whom she's only spoken to over the net and phone, Dale Hessman, sent her a program with a weird glitch for her to de-bug. That night, he left to meet her and was killed in a plane crash. Angela discovers secret information on the disk she has received only hours before she leaves for vacation. Her life then turns into a nightmare, her records are erased from existence and she is given a new identity, one with a police record. She struggles to find out why this has happened and who has it in for her.
Moral of the story? If you are a modern day hermit, atleast take the time to introduce yourself to the pizza man incase your stalkers find you out and erase your IDENTITY.
Alternatively, when being chased by phychopaths who want your data, remember to back it up on a trusty floppy disk. NOTHING can hurt those!
Alternatively, always choose Macintosh, the only laptop that effieciently upload viruses to alien space crafts and save the planet.
Alternatively, if you are as hot as Sandra Bullock and are also a modern day hermit, I would like you to have my ICQ#, I'm here to help ANY WAY I CAN.
Stupid People = Extroverts by kin_korn_karn · 2006-07-17 10:52 · Score: 4, Funny

You know, I just came to the realization that I've never met a stupid introvert. Every stupid person that I've ever met was extroverted, and usually extremely so.