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The 64% Violent Pacman

DreamWinkle writes "During the recent Senate hearings on video game violence, one expert claimed that the ESRB underrated violent games. They went on to say that Pacman was 64% violent. To some, this means you shouldn't play Pacman; to others, it highlights what's wrong with Senate hearings. Whether a game is violent or not depends on how you classify violence, and the ESRB has the job of doing just that. They're not regulated by the government, they let the game makers recommend their own ratings, and don't play every game they rate. Is the ESRB to be trusted?"

31 of 435 comments (clear)

  1. 42 by davevt5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Saying Packman is "64% violet" is like saying the meaning of life is "42".

  2. I see you by kyouteki · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'll say Pac-Man's violent. Have you ever seen what he does to those poor ghosts? Eats 'em and leaves nothing but the eyes. Gruesome stuff, man.

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    1. Re:I see you by rjhubs · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pac-Man is not violent. If anything, the game promotes drug usage. Popping pills in dark rooms with techno music? Come on now.

    2. Re:I see you by creepynut · · Score: 5, Funny

      If Pac Man "music" sounds like techno, you're either not playing the original arcade version, or you've already popped too many pills :)

  3. Waka by Sweeman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Of course it's violent. Power pellets have feelings too!

    1. Re:Waka by kalirion · · Score: 5, Funny

      Those aren't power pellets, they're frozen embryos!

    2. Re:Waka by BigCheese · · Score: 4, Funny

      Mmmmmm, frozen embryos. They're like a baby meat snow cone!

      --
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  4. This Just In... by nsmike · · Score: 5, Funny

    "...US Government declares eating violent."

  5. int or long? by Doches · · Score: 4, Funny

    If they're using int for that number, I suspect that games like GTA come in with a rather nice ranking, somewhere around -17%...

  6. So what happened...? by steveo777 · · Score: 4, Funny

    What happened to the other 44%? Is that just the start and hi-score screens?

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    1. Re:So what happened...? by Volante3192 · · Score: 5, Funny

      34%... That tens column is frustrating though, I'll give you that much

    2. Re:So what happened...? by creepynut · · Score: 5, Funny

      And apparently you only learned 98% Math in school :)

      (34% + 64%)

    3. Re:So what happened...? by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Funny

      35.99999468.

      I really must upgrade my old Pentium 60.

    4. Re:So what happened...? by yourOneManArmy · · Score: 4, Funny

      34%... That tens column is frustrating though, I'll give you that much So is the one's column it seems. It's okay, Pacman would have appreciated the boost to 66% anyways; he's always looking for more violence -- power pellets and ghosts don't always supply enough for the enraged yellow demon.

    5. Re:So what happened...? by silvaran · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey if you, me and the grandparent poster get together, maybe the four of us can get a discount on math lessons.

  7. Re:64%? by jd · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's two to the power of the number of ghosts the Senator snagged before losing his last life.

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  8. Let's rank sports, too... by Richard+Steiner · · Score: 5, Funny

    Baseball -- People whack the heck out of an innocent little ball with a large wooden club.
    Football -- People kick the heck out of an innocent ball.
    American Football -- Two teams blitz, bomb, and violently tackle each other.
    Hockey -- Nuff said.
    Basketball -- People bounce an innocent ball repeatedly against a hard floor.
    Pong Pong -- People whack a very small ball back and forth.
    Golf -- People whack a very small ball, often wounding it and/or sending it into water/sand.

    They all sound unacceptable violent to me...

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    1. Re:Let's rank sports, too... by truthsearch · · Score: 4, Funny

      But none of those sports have ghosts! Why can't someone think of the ghosts? You don't want innocent ghosts being eaten, do you? Then who will be left to scare the children?

    2. Re:Let's rank sports, too... by gorbachev · · Score: 4, Funny

      "They all sound unacceptable violent to me..."

      Naah, the violence ranks from 40% to 95%. The acceptable level of violence, as everyone knows, in the US is 101%.

      The acceptable level of nipples, on the other hand, is 0%.

      --
      In Soviet Russia, I ruled you
  9. 64% violet? by sharkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Actually, I thought he was 100% yellow.

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  10. Remaing 36% percent... by Valdrax · · Score: 5, Funny

    The remaining 36% percent has been determined to consist of:
    15.08% squeely beeps
    18.00% necrophagy
    27.71% drugs
    24.02% gender ambiguity
    10.62% spin-offs
      4.08% blue period
      0.57% unknown... scratch that... tar

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  11. Re:64%? by Tsiangkun · · Score: 5, Funny

    basically the game consists of pac
    slaughtering ghosts, dots, and bigger dots.
    Ghosts are also hunting pac when he isn't
    hunting them.

    30% of the screen isn't available to the characters
    because of the way the maze is designed. This leaves 70%
    as the max violence percentage.

    However, in the post 9-11 world, pac killing ghosts has been
    reclassified as doing Gods work, and is seen as promoting
    freedom and democracy while killing evildoers.

    Integrating over time, we can see that only 64% of the game is
    actually violent, and 6% of the time pac is doing gods work.

  12. Poor Duke... by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's a sad day that the King of American Macho Violence, Duke Nukem, is cast from this throne to be replaced by a pill-popping, ghost-seeing Japanese pizza missing a quarter-slice. Only if Duke Nukem Forever was released would things turn around for our beloved hero.

  13. Re:I've seen... by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny

    That they're about 87% retarded?

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  14. Re:Anyone have more information? by Xibby · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe Pac-Man isn't really harming the ghosts. He's not eating the Ghosts, they live on. He's eating their clothing. The so called ghosts simply return home and don another sheet when Pac-Man catches them.

    Maybe Pac-Man is really just a creature that enjoys the taste of clothing worn by a dark skinned creature. Eating the clothing seems to be enjoyable to Pac-Man, but receiving a whip crack to the ass from the mystical material transports Pac-Man back to his starting position.

    How do we know the Ghosts don't enjoy chasing Pac-Man! They get to smack him on the rear if they catch him, but if he catches them they have to go home naked. It could all be in fun and jest, and us dolts of the human race have misinterpreted the entire ritual!

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  15. Re:If video games really influence our behavior... by hypnagogue · · Score: 4, Funny
    It's pretty clear that Pacman could lead this entire country, nay the entire world, to extensive drug use, poor taste in music, and cannibalism unless we legislate against it.

    They called this dark period in our history "The 80's".
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  16. Re:This is why I don't play Pacman by MadJo · · Score: 5, Funny

    you mean, parents have responsibilities? Surely not!
    It's up to the congress to legislate our childs upbringing.
    It's only through laws that we can teach our children what they need to learn.

  17. Re:64%? by istartedi · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's the square of ate.

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  18. I happen to know a lot about Senate hearings. by SQLz · · Score: 4, Funny

    I happen to know a lot about Senate hearings. They are a series of connected tubes, and when you get 3 or 4 violent video games moving through these tubes, they get clogged up. Just last week, my staff sent me a Senate Hearing, and it took a whole day to get there.

  19. Re:Nice attempt at not connecting the dots. by pjp6259 · · Score: 4, Funny

    kick ass! I can't wait to be a responsible parent.

    Wife: Honey do the dishes.
    Me: Are you kidding? I'm only 2/3 of the way through Jumior's christmas parent. WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER ARE YOU?!?!?
    Wife: (sobbing)

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  20. Re:64%? by istartedi · · Score: 4, Funny

    On the way home, I realized I was wrong. It's the square of "dot ate". I can't believe nobody caught me!

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    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?