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Ballmer Speaks on His Solo Act
Carl Bialik from WSJ writes "In his first one-on-one interview since Bill Gates's retirement announcement, Steve Ballmer tells the Wall Street Journal he is bullish on Microsoft's investments in online services, and he dismisses as 'random malarkey' the idea that Microsoft is having trouble hiring and keeping the kind of brilliant employees that have always been the company's competitive weapon. Here's Ballmer on Gates's departure: 'As co-leaders of the business, I could allow Bill to be the full-time champion of innovation. And [now] with me really being the guy who's here every day running the place, I must be the champion of innovation.' And on competing with Google: 'We're going to compete. We're going to be in the online business. We are going to have a core around online. We're going to be excellent. That, I would tell people, to count on...'"
Apparently this is as close to admission that they're not presently excellent as we can hope for.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
I thought he spoke about His Solo Monkey Dance Act!
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
I must be the champion of innovation
Isn't that spelt
I must wait for someone to do something clever and then rip it off
Summation 2
The Lone Ballmer toure plans to play 30 venues in 90 days, with 3 nights at each. It will feature such classics as "Developers, Devolpers" along with new hits such as "I'm Gonna Fucking Kill $FOO", a scale model of Stonehenge built from office chairs and Ballmer himself dressed in Andre the Giant's classic leotard.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
We're going to compete. We're going to be in the online business. We are going to have a core around online. We're going to be excellent.
(howard dean voice) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHH
You could say that he's a Deity of Enterprise, so to speak. That makes him Steve BullmerDE, which is about right if you excuse my French... ;)
(Actually Freudian Lips) x
Does he shoot Greedo first?
he dismisses as 'random malarkey' the idea that Microsoft is having trouble hiring and keeping the kind of brilliant employees that have always been the company's competitive weapon.
"That's random malarkey! Who needs brilliant employees when we have chairs as our new competitive weapon.", Ballmer responded.
With a picture of a chair.
Task Mangler
Yeah, I think we can all agree that orderly, predictable malarky is much preferable.
This space intentionally left (almost) blank.
Just like Ronald Reagan and George Bush (Jnr), Steve Ballmer is only a pupper. Its still Bill in charge, all the way down.
If we did replace Bill (just so they don't know that we know), maybe it would be Steve in a leotard, sitting on a chair ah la Auguste Rodin famous statue.
'And [now] with me really being the guy who's here every day running the place, I must be the champion of innovation.'
QED
Developers Developers Developers Developers!
Badass Resumes
Bill Gates, champion of innovation? And Microsoft's competitive advantage is its brilliant employees? (Not to knock their employees, but somehow I don't think that's their real competitive, or shall we say, anti-competitive advantage.)
If he likes and wants developers so much, why doesn't he reimplement Windows in Java?
Java is by far the most used language this day and it is one of the most mature and with the biggest class library...
Why doesn't Ballmer hire Java developers?
Oh, wait...
...the business geek retired and left the company in the hands of the frat house human mascot? ;P
-"...bad old ideas look confusingly fresh when they are packaged as technology" - Jaron Lanier (Digital Maoism on Edge.o